The 25 Project

What do you do?

2012-02-08T19:05:00.002-05:00

I’m trying on some shoes, with a short summer dress (I know it’s not summer but I’m in Cali), legs positioned like the number 4. I look up and notice a young girl around the age of 8 staring at me. I smile and continue with my shoes. Next thing I know, the little girl has a slip on stocking on her right hand. She is flying her hand in the sky like an airplane, then across the arms of the empty chair on the side of me, and next thing I know she has rubbed her hand across the side of my knee. I paused, looked at her like you little #%@^ &%$$ %&*^(& $%^#@. She took off running. What was I supposed to do? What would you have done?

2012-02-07T01:00:00.001-05:00

This is only a test…..for the fifth or sixth time. Have you ever shared your thoughts, dreams, or even opinions with someone and just knew that their response would be identical to your response? Well I did and their opinion was like the other five people I shared with. Normally I care less and say ‘oh well you don’t have to be happy for me because I’m on my own happy trip.’ So I will step back, I want take it personal and see what the future holds. Even though I've done this before and this is let down #3. (Shaking my head)

2012-02-05T19:42:00.005-05:00

After trying on $300 Prada shoes, YES only $300! I decided to head to the fitting room, realizing I’ve been in this store for 2.5 hours! Finally I had decided on 2 sweaters by Max Azria for a great price. Then I looked in the mirror, fanned my hair back on the right side and noticed a shine. I moved into the mirror closer and there it was a 2 inch strand of grey hair. I paused; as thoughts ran throw my head a thousand miles per minute. Too quick for me to even comprehend what I was thinking. I started to cry, but could only make a frown. I then started to look for my phone to call beastie, my mom, I don’t know. I needed to talk to someone. Before I knew it I grabbed the clothes, gave to the fitting room attendant and walked swiftly out the store. I sat in my car not sure what to think. But God I did ask you for long grey hair when I got around late 50’s to rock a long French braid ~~with a cat to pat~~.

Maybe this is just the first stage to my braid, or ~~I’m stressed~~ maybe I have earned my first wisdom strand. Yeah that’s it! Being curious, I knew I had to do research on how and why I have a strand of grey hair at 26, right before a full moon.

After speaking with my father he said “God only knows. He wanted you to have a grey strand at this time.” I decided no need to research it. Just smile, be happy with who I am, what I have, and as more may come no need to dye it, embrace it.

I understand as we age body parts spread and drop, like it’s a new dance move or something. But our mind isn’t always prepared to hit the dance floor, at least my mind isn’t. I wanted to know has anyone in late twenties have developed their wisdom strand(s)? Just like in high school it turns out I wasn’t the only 110 pound teenager that had stretch marks on my buttocks, so comforting to know I wasn’t alone.

So after all that emotion from first finding my wisdom strand, I learned God is doing something and there is no need for me to ponder on it.

2012-02-05T19:08:00.008-05:00

This is important to me because I’m talking to you; yes you, the reader about it. I never been the type to have my wedding ceremony and wedding dress all planned before meeting Mr.Right. I just know, I want my significant other to have a say in our ceremony. Same goes for deciding on bearing kids. I used to feel obligated to have a few kiddies, especially since I am my mother’s only daughter. I got pass that because I realized, I would be the one to take care of the kiddies and not my mother.

However, my mother has been blessed with three beautiful intelligent grandkids, by my oldest brother and wife. Just a few weeks ago my youngest brother announced he and his girlfriend, of seven years, were having a baby! Yes my jolly, youngest, big brother is having a baby, not literally, but you know what I mean. I am so happy as if I announced I am carrying a child.

It’s lovely to be an aunt for the fourth time. Now I need to attend to my auntie duties of pondering the style of the baby or babies to come.

2012-02-05T17:33:00.005-05:00

Geez talk about wiping the dust off something so valuable! That’s how I feel as I return to the 2browngirls25project. I know it has been a while & a lot has happen since my last post. A quick update:

• I’m assisting one of L.A. fashion scene’s rising stars, more to come.

• I have found love for, not so expensive, Prada shoes. In my size!
• I’m trusting God, when everyone else doubted.
• Loving west coast life!

I promise, as I did before, I’m back to blogging! So you know my saying, “Sit back, buckle your seatbelt, and enjoy a Martini.” This journey call life will be bumpy.

F.E.A.R. and why Hawaii mattered

2011-10-31T09:19:00.004-04:00

F.E.A.R.- false evidence appearing real.

I took a quick trip to Ohau a couple weeks ago for work. While I was excited and super blessed by the opportunity, there was a piece of me that was really uncomfortable with the situation. Thankfully, when you are going through something and battling it out within yourself, God places people and messages and situations in your path to help you move past it-as long as you are willing to take chance.

Backstory: I've been flying since I was about...6 months old. As a kid, I flew cross-country alone to visit my dad all of the time. It was no biggie. Fast forward to college- that young and ~~dumb~~ carefree life where you take trips to just to have drinks at a different bar. Yeah. That. All was good but I started feeling antsy during take-off. Eventually turbulence would be the thing that would leave my tummy in knots- sweaty palms- the whole nine. It's gotten better over time for sure. At some point (I don't remember when) I'd begun really praying about the whole flying thing because it was silly and there was no reason that I should get worked up about a few pockets of air. Even as that part subsided, I was still a bit hesitant to take long flights and flights over water. I'd created this irrational fear in my own mind about flying over water and not being able to see land (kind of like the reason I don't want to take a cruise).

I'd accepted the trip to Hawaii, because it's HAWAII and how many times do you have the chance to go there-at no cost (note: this would make the second time. the first time a friend invited me and I was too afraid to take the trip). I'd made up my mind that it would be ok. But I did schedule a few stops on each leg of my flight to avoid having to sit for hours on end. The week before the trip I was still a bit nervous but trying to work through it. I had to fly to Washington state for a few days and then back to DC and then to Hawaii all in the same week, but was really only concerned about flying over the ocean for like 5 hours straight to Hawaii. The sunday before all of these flights we had a guest speaker at church. I allllmost didn't go that morning (opting for Bedside Baptist) but I pressed my way in. The message was about fear. And Deborah Smith Pegues talked about her own irrational fear of flying. I sobbed the entire time because I felt like God was talking to me and letting me know that it would be OK! She talked about how turbulence discouraged her from flying and how she'd missed out on opportunities because of her fear. She then talked about how she researched turbulence to learn more about it and was able to overcome her fear. She did it and so could I. She pointed to two things to do to address a fear (1) analysis and (2) action. She researched the thing that she feared and then took action to overcome it.

The message really hit home for me as I realized all of the things that I'd missed out on because of my own fear. A few weeks prior, ILYT asked me when I was going to stop letting fear keep me from experiencing life. That question was spot on and made me realize that I'd have to make a decision to overcome this or continue to settle for less than all I could have. I flew to Hawaii and back...by myself...over the ocean and it felt great to do. Plus I learned that planes can actually make a water landing. Analysis.

That's not the only reason that HI mattered though. Spending time on the beach and ~~kind of~~ on a solo vacation gave me much needed "me" time. I ended the trip in See's Candy store where I was buying a box of chocolates for my mom. I didn't realize how much that would take out of me. See, my uncle passed away last spring. This was someone who my mom was extremely close to, and one of those people that I'd always pictured at my wedding one day. He was one of my biggest supporters and my mom's too. Every year when I was little he used to send us See's candy. Since his passing, I've been meaning to get my mom a box and when I saw the store in HI, I just pranced right on in. As I began going through the choices and giving my order to the lady at the counter, I just started crying. Yup, like a baby. I had no idea the memories that something so trivial would bring back. BUT I also realized in that moment that I hadn't really had time to mourn my uncle's death. I was more concerned about being there for my mother and hadn't taken some time for myself. The saleslady was very patient with me and so sweet. I finished up the selection and packed it away in my suitcase. But those few moment and few tears were cleansing and apparently much needed.

OK, I know this was A LOT, but considering we only update this blog every other blue moon, I think its ok. Moral of the story here...conquer your fears and take time for yourself to heal a bit. Fear doesn't have to be so extreme that it consumes you, but if it keeps you from experiencing all of the great things that God has for you, it might be time to do something about it. Analyze it- figure out what it is you are afraid of and why. Then take action and do something about it. I promise it will feel great!.

"Protect yourself at all times."

2011-09-18T21:04:00.003-04:00

What Floyd said.

Though referring to the reaction to his low blows to Ortiz in Saturday's fight, Mayweather's words resonated on another level with me.

So many of us (women and men) carry these words in our heads and our hearts as a result of something in our past (breakup, disappointment, failure, and the like). We all react to situations differently, but lessons and experiences from past relationships can put us in a place where we feel the need to always protect ourselves- to be guarded so that we can't get hurt. The issue? Well there's a few. One- hurt can be super uncomfortable, especially in the moment but once you've dried up tears and diffused a little anger, there is usually a lesson, moment, or experience that presents clarity to you and allows you to grow a little. Two- if we are "protecting ourselves at all times" with our hands up and on guard...then we never get a punch in. Translation- being guarded at every moment doesn't allow you to fight,err, experience life. Who wants to watch a fight where one guy throws all the punches and the other just has his hands up the whole time? NO ONE. It's boring, there's no action. It's dead. The same is for life, if you've always got your hands up, you are never getting into life and all it has to offer, in the end your story isn't worth remembering or retelling, it's boring...and you've merely existed.

Mayweather was right,we do have to protect ourselves, its natural and its healthy to do so. But, in that, we've also got to allow ourselves to be open (and dare I say vulnerable) to life. Your life is a sum of your experiences, encounters, and imprints of influence that you leave behind. Standing in one place-on guard- hardly allows for any memorable moments...so toe the line with this. Find the happy medium between protecting yourself (and your heart) while remaining open to the experiences of life, the joy of laughter, and the passion of love.

DELET

2011-09-15T13:19:00.006-04:00

Ahh...."DELET" (like delete but a hard "t" at the end) reminds me of my ~~young and dumb~~ college days...

I've never really been one to go through my phone deleting numbers and such. Either numbers weren't transferred when I got a new phone or they just live on eternally. I literally have a phone full of numbers that I will never use, but eh, never know when you might be stuck somewhere random. You just might need that number....(ok maybe not). It's just never been a conscious thing to do, though I realize that this is quite normal for most people.

About a week ago, this all changed. I was literally tired of seeing people's names who don't serve any real purpose in my life-popping up in my phone randomly due to a pointless text or phone call. Now of course, this has more to do with me basically being "over" said people for one reason or another, but to keep from continued annoyance...I deleted the numbers...the past text messages- EVERYTHING (because we live in an age where if the number isn't stored, it isn't recalled, and therefore does not exist) . I literally felt like I'd dumped off some weight. It may sound silly, but it really felt good to get rid of the extra. Now not to be free of coincidence, literally within a day (and a few hours in one case) the contacts either called or texted. Meh...i'm done. So those calls and texts got the DELET too. But perhaps I should have responded with an open invitation for said persons to lose my number...hmmmm....

So I'm sure reading this you're like, 'man she's a bit angry' but its actually quite the contrary. People that know me know that my tolerance for BS is fairly low...or I will tolerate it until I'm tiiired and then I'm done. And I simply reached that point with a few people. Instead of continuing engage in random convo and failed attempts at 'getting up', I just won't. And since these people are no longer 'contacts' in my book, they now get the treatment that every other unknown number gets. Fair? I think so :)

Im not even close to being thirsty.... Im too hydrated for that.

2011-08-31T22:36:00.007-04:00

Growing up in the south I realized men really take charge, they are go getter's, they actually use their God given 'manpower' in pursuing a lady. I'm now at the stage of life maybe I should put a little effort, but that seems like I'm being thirsty. Even after showing a clear interest. It's like ANY effort is thirsty, to me at least. Then I wonder about Jacob (Genesis 29-30) and how he worked (14 years) for the wife he wanted, Rachel. Man was created first for many reasons, I believe they should put effort out in pursuing a lady first, at least work for her (not literally, but literally).
I understand some men may be intimidated or even shy starting off, but to keep her he needs to return phone calls and text messages in a timely matter. If not she will write you off (period).

After writing the first part, I realized God doesn't want me to question who should say hi first. Like I'm in 4th grade, instead I'll be the mature adult and take lead. However understanding the reason God created woman and understanding my positioning in different circumstances is what I'll concentrate on. With that being said, what's meant to be will be.

Giving "good" a chance

2011-08-11T08:24:00.004-04:00

There comes at time when you realize that your mom was right, and though you hate to admit it, you must. So, mom, you were right though the edgy guys won't be boring, they will have a dash-too-much of selfishness, and being someone that doesn't deal well with selfish people-that will not work. Even casually dating someone who is a bit too selfish won't work because they will eventually ~~like many other people~~ just annoy the hell out of me. Thankfully, I've managed to keep a good balance of good and evil around, but maybe it's time to get back to the basics and stop attributing to that whole "nice guys finish last" bit. Now....how do I keep from getting bored? That's another question for another day, but I'm sure consciously trying not to will help so we'll start there. This is me, giving good a chance.

And speaking of giving chances....I've been wanting to write a post about how my awful ordeal with Comcast changed for the better. BUT IT HASN'T. As of today we are at 5 appointments/3 NO-SHOWs after the tech calling my roomate at 10:17PM last night to announce his arrival. I think Ocho Cinco says "Chile Please". Who's letting some rando Comcast tech in their house that late at night. Meanwhile back at the ranch, the cable blinks out every few minutes. I literally watched the first 9 minutes of Chelsea Lately and observed 3 blanks in that time period. I wonder if the Comcast CEO knows that they are this terrible at providing technical service. Perhaps they should contract less and direct hire more. Oh and another fun fact-Comcast owns Fandango...so I might have to stop using that service too. Ugh. Dear Comcast, you are the worst and I am confident that the only reason that people continue pay for your service is because there are no other options...monopoly is a bish, aint it?

When words to actually trump actions...

2011-07-28T10:06:00.003-04:00

We are all familiar with the idea that "actions speak louder than words" and tend to use this whenever it is convenient to prove our point or make a case. The fact is, however, that while actions may speak louder than words-sometimes-there are occasions when you should take what is said to be what the person means...like your parent's say, "do as I say and not as I do."

Living in a major city, I hear the same dating woes from ladies about how tough dating is. They talk about how men aren't ready to commit ~~meanwhile they aren't given any reason to since y'all are more than willing to dress it up, serve it on a platter, and play house without committment~~ , how men are chasing their careers and aren't interested in making time for a relationship, and how they'd rather just enjoy this time in their lives without being attached to any one person. All of this may be (read: probably is) true, but I know for a fact that there are some great guys out there looking for a relationship but instead are probably somewhere lost in the "friend zone".

Thinking that they have the ability to change a man's mind, many women pursue these 'unavailable' men anyway in hopes that it will lead to a relationship. Guys go along with the dating, but they've already told her that they aren't looking for a relationship...but she keeps on pushing along because they spend ~~so much~~ time together, he texts her throughout the day, they talk on the phone once a month, and the like. For her, he's showing all the signs of being in a relationship so surely its inevitable, right? NO. Were you listening to what he said (and notice the fact that story hasn't changed)? Boo, he's single. This is one of those moments where actions aren't speaking louder to nobody but you. He said his piece, and that's what he has in his mind. And until he speaks otherwise, you can safely assume that is what he means despite his actions. Truthfully, its easy to get caught up in seeing the same person repeatedly if you enjoy their company, but it doesn't mean that the part of you that isn't seeking committment has changed. So ladies, please stop getting all in your feelings and start using your ears to hear what is being said (yes, I know this isn't natural). It will work out easier in the end.

You cant really take that back, Or can you?

2011-07-19T11:58:00.000-04:00

I never shared this with anyone, but I never actually felt like I was a MPA graduate. Didn’t get to excited, I was having doubts that after all the research I did on turnover rates at the university, even walking in the ceremony. I had a feeling I would get a call or letter saying we have made a mistake and I would need to complete one class. After I finally moved from AR to CA I was thinking surely that wouldn’t happen. Well today I received a DO NOT BEND envelope in the mail, of course I ignored it and toss it on the floor. Then I walked by it four hours later and thought what’s this mess the school has sent now. I opened it and pulled out my DIPLOMA!!!!!! Of course some tears felled. I was thinking now its official I have worked hard, even cutting my hair off, to receive my Masters in Public Administration. Now it’s time to really celebrate or see how this sheet of paper will work for me.

Live WHOLISTICALLY!

2011-07-15T15:08:00.002-04:00

http://www.herbsistah.com/

I promise her homegrown herbs worked for me the first time around. Everyone is different and may have more of a build up of certain toxin in their system, but she is my go to herb sistah when I have any herbal questions and she teaches me how to live wholistic! EMAIL CALL herbsistah, she is your personal herbalist.

I'm Pretty Sure my Mirror didn't Break.....Atleast I hope NOT!

2011-07-15T14:40:00.001-04:00

Tuesday night I was conversing with one of my male associates, we got on the topic of being a 30 year old female and looking for love. He mentions many of my associates that are 30 is wondering why they haven’t found MR. Right4HER. He says they need to look in the mirror and examine some flaws…….she may not even realize they are flaws, but on the outside looking in, big turnoff for a marriage. I told him I agree, but its not my place to point that out to them (He agreed).
Since its not my place to tell my female associates, you’re not finding MR. Right4u bc XYZ…. Instead I hope one day they will look in the mirror and examine who they are looking at in the mirror.

My ACTUAL birthday

2011-07-13T09:46:00.002-04:00

I wake up each morning and give thanks for yet another day. Yesterday was no different, but of course, had to be extra thankful for another year. 25 was a blast and brought SO much to my life. I learned a lot, experienced so many new things (intended and unintended), and most importantly (ref: Work out plan) I grew more. I think one of the biggest things I realized is that the people I thought would be there for certain parts of my journey might not be, to cherish the relationships I have when I have them, and to not be afraid to let them go when it it time to do so. Now that all that is out of the way...let's talk about my yesterday...

I waited on Comcast ALL.DAY.LONG. Seriously my 8-11 appointment came and went and since I didn't get a phone call, I thought they were a no show. But apparently- Tech 3252 came and went and never dialed my nimba (ref: Plies). So after several conversations with them, I made it known that they killed my day and that I really did hate them. But on the brightside I got some things done that I've been meaning to work on since the move. I spruced up my bathroom with a little design and I hacked my dresser. Ok, so I was going to toss out these drawers I'd bought from Ikea some time ago because I was really tired of them. But then I got introduced to Ikea Hacking which is basically when people turn Ikea things into DIY projects. I loved the white and dark wood contrast look and the yellow knobs match the yellow accents in my bedroom. I love it. I am also making it a nightstand instead of a dresser. I'm pretty proud of myself, and now that I can work the drill, I'm unstoppable.

I finished the evening at Happy Hour with a small group. As always it was entertaining. And as I left, I ran into a familiar face ~~which solidifed my suspicion that God was pulling an Ashton for the past few days~~ who treated me to birthday cupcakes from my fav cupcakery.

Minus the comcast situation- I had an AWESOME BIRTHDAY! And since there are still some gifts to come, I know it isn't over. 26 is starting off fabulously...can't wait to see what's next.

REMEMBER:

2011-07-11T23:54:00.002-04:00

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day. Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)

My super-awesome birthday weekend

2011-07-11T10:54:00.003-04:00

Deviled Eggs. Lemon Drop Martinis. Yellow Knobs.Rooftops. Familiar Faces. Rum Punch. Neck Tats. Misspelled Neck Tats. Arm Tats. 16th and Minnesota SE. Young Boys. New Friends. The Right People. Green Pants. Bandages. The General and his Blondie. The Woods. Peace. God. MexiCAN. Winery. Chocolat.

I had an awesome pre-birthday weekend. After consciously making a decision not to "freak out" about birthday plans (though that wasn't 100% the case), I've had the BEST birthday I've had since moving to DC and it isn't even my birthday yet!

This weekend was really great. I started Friday night with deviled eggs and a couple lemon drop martinis ~~yes, I am aware of now disgusting that sounds~~ . We hit a rooftop party for someone's birthday to indulge in the finest of bow ties, seersucker suits, and rainbow stripes that DC has to offer. We ventured to Dupont to Current sushi. Ok, so I'm not really one down for paying to get into lounges/clubs unless I'm 1) on vacation, 2) venturing to a new venue, or 3) really interested in what's going on inside the spot and since Current wasn't fitting the descrip of any of the above....I was good with rolling on when the "owner" wanted to charge for entry and his bouncer suggested a table. Hello, this is a sushi spot, the crowd is "Fayetteville" as CR described it, and I'm just not that pressed. Anyway I was asked to remain silent after I told the bouncer he could roll on with the table talk, but my method worked...I mean we were let in no charge-no problem after that. Anyway after what seemed like an eternity of MJ hits, girls with their arms in the air wearing flip flops and getting sloppy drunk disgusted....we left and trekked to the next spot. Now, I'm wearing the highest heels in the group (being one of only two ladies in the entourage), but the guys were the ones whining about the walk lol. Anywho, we got there and *cough* made a decision not to enter, at that point we piled into a cab and went home BUT it was still a pretty great night, not to mention that the lemon drop martinis made by Jason at the Liaison Hotel Bar were absolute perfection!

FF to Saturday. I scored a few really pretty knobs for my DIY dresser project that I'll start tomorrow on my day off. Then we hit not one but two day parties. The first the more typical bougie "DC" crowd. Full of familiar faces, flowing weaves, men who are more interested in talking to other men, and the one guy who referred to himself as Collective Bargaining or Soul or some foolish name he gave himself. He was probably the highlight of my experience though, donning lime green khakis and a tangerine and white plaid shirt WITH suspenders and braided leather loafers. He had the sporadic Anthony Hamilton facial hair going and was grooving and rapping along to EVERY SONG. Yes, I gave him my number! Why not, he was much more amusing than the guys walking around with misspelled neck tattoos and those who were too perfectly groomed to touch in 90+ degree weather. So being the person that never forgets a face, I looked up and saw I guy I was pretty sure I'd met like 6 years ago at a random party in Atlanta, and sure enough it was him. Turns out he just moved here ~~like everyone else on earth because DC is the new Atlanta~~ and we know some of the same people because DC is the size of the pupil of my eye.

So we blew that joint and decided to hit the second party. Now, before we went there, I asked LWW who was hosting this party. He didn't know but said that one of his phrat brothers was spinning. So that PLUS the fact that it was a bar in Dupont led me to believe it would be more along the lines of the first party we went to. I. Was. Wrong. The guys went ahead of us and by the time we arrived, we were greeted by two groups of three 'rats who were literally about to fight over a parking spot. Seeking to escape that, we rolled up to the rooftop where we were greeted by the stench of purp, mariJUWANNA, or whatever you kids call it these days. Walked in and I was in the middle of the hood.I literally felt as if we were in on a video set. There's baby daddy tats, strippers, Kelly Rowlands, hood dudes with good hair, brothas who obviously got jumped-went to the hospital-and then came straight to the party, keloids, gel, weaves, stilettos, pumps- ALLL OF THAT. The funny thing is that the DJ was awesome (S/O To DJ Schemes) and we had a really good time. I felt a little under-tatted considering that I have none and there was apparently a 4 tat minimum that I skirted when I entered. But the crew I was with made the whole thing worth while. We stayed for a couple hours and then had dinner. I even tried to go back out that night but once prompted to pay a $20 cover for a place that didn't meet the aforementioned criteria, I sashayed back to my car and drove home but not before seeing a familiar face in the line. I spoke, mentioned my birthday, and then got hit with the "well I'm off Tuesday" line, to which I'm sure my reply looked something like o_O. Did this brotha just invite himself to celebrate my birthday with me on my day off? (SN this is probably why so many women are single-just turning down people who make an effort to be polite, but I'll take my chances on this one).

Sunday was the big day. I'd sent out cute little invites, found a cute and appropriate 'fit, and was ready for my birthday celebration at the Mariott Ranch. Yup, last year it was guns, this year it is horses for the official bday celebration. I met up with the boys and we headed out to western Virgina where the deer and the antelope play to do a trail ride. Ok, so as we were driving I was feeling a little bit of a punk out coming. I don't really like the outdoors and this looked to be like uncivilized land...but I was there, I'd committed, and I manged to get five men out of bed pretty early in the morning to drive 1.5 hours west to do this. So we did it. OMG it was amazing (aside from my horse's need to smell his girlfriend's butt the entire ride, the random pit stops for potty breaks, and the fact that my butt hurts now). We got there in this open land. The first four guys of our party got on their horses with no problem. The last, however, when to get on and his horse walked off. Her name was Goldie and she had other plans. So I thought they took her away since she was being uncooperative, but apparently they only had ME fooled with the walk around and brought Goldie right back for him to mount. Second go round wasn't so bad. Then it was my turn. I got "The General" (not the first I've encountered, and like the first-this one was pretty sweet). And that's when my punk out really kicked in. I was legit scared once I got on the horse but after a few moments, I settled down. I pleaded not to be put in the back but of course I was the last one followed by two of the ranchers and their horses "Ricky Bobby" (cuz he likes to go fast) and Aislyn, this super cute newbie who was wearing boots because she hadn't gotten her shoes yet. The ride was so peaceful. Really quiet and just relaxing. I spent a little time talking to God and being thankful for (almost) another year and taking in the scenery. And after a little more than an hour, it was over.

We left the ranch which is situated in VA wine country, so we headed to a winery and did a tasting. The last wine was paired with a piece of chocolate which was really good. We left, I ran off the road, we had a three hour lunch/dinner. It was perfect. What I really appreciated was that all the right people were there. Everyone I spent this weekend with was relatively "new" in my life and it was stress and drama free, I didn't have to make special accommodations, and we had genuinely good times. That was just the weekend. My actual birthday is tomorrow and I'm not sure what is in store (other than finally getting cable and Internet in the new place) but I'm excited!!!!!!!!!!

#AskObama

2011-07-07T18:24:00.002-04:00

I know I'm late on the 'Twitter Town Hall' #askobama. Now that I'm a part of twitter frenzy I was debating what would I want to ask President Obama. I knew my question had to stand out from the other 2 million questions, and of course everyone was going to ask about jobs in America. However I still wanted to know "how can a recent grad student receieve experience if one has been in school the majority of their life?" I don't want to hear internship bc the internship will not be paid or not enough for survival. Oh well guess I'll just #AskGod instead. What would you #askobama?

Living to my fullest potential—God's gift to me.

2011-07-06T16:42:00.001-04:00

Yeah it’s hard to keep going up the mountain of life to reach my life fullest potential. The cool thing is that I am being prepared every moment for what my heart desires, until I reach that point. That’s part of my purpose for living. So why shall I settle for a job that’s in my field and makes more starting off then a job that I love. Of course I weight the options $ vs. Love. Ha! Love wins! So I’m refocusing refueling to capture my dream. I’m smiling at the pleasure to live in Gods given gift. #Fulfillment

No more focusing on mediocre people places and things.

Integrity?

2011-07-06T08:23:00.003-04:00

I've really been struggling with people who don't keep their word lately. It is incredibly frustrating when someone opens their mouth to say they will do something and then not do it. I'm not even talking about people who you ask to do something-they say yes-and then they don't. I'm referring to people who volunteer to do something and then don't. It's been wearing on my nerves and I've cut a few people out due to this. Last night at bible study, my pastor was talking about being people of integrity and he referenced James 5:12 "...But let your "Yes" be "Yes", and your "No", "No", lest you fall into judgement." This is in reference to keeping your word and your commitments.

The reality is that we live in a society where people don't respect commitments, avoid them, and will fore go a commitment if something else comes along or they simply don't feel like it. These are people who lack integrity and I'm running out of patience for them. I know that no one is perfect, including myself, but let's challenge ourselves and one another to be people of integrity and keepers of our word.

Who thought to put the toilet there?

2011-07-05T19:40:00.004-04:00

Have you ever wonder who brilliant idea was it to put the toilet in the same place we brush our teeth? This may be the reason some walk around when brushing their teeth. Some toilets are separate from the sink, but normally the toilet is to the right or left of the sink. I get the idea of washing your hands, especially in public places, but even the sink is separate from the toilet. I just ponder who brilliant idea was this bc its not so brilliant. Instead its pretty tummy twirling.

Where shall I start....

2011-07-01T15:03:00.007-04:00

I will begin with I have my MASETRS IN PUBLIC ADMINISTRATION!!!!! Yes I have neglected the 25project, but it was for the hard work I dedicated to be a public administator. Plus I joined twitter (@illlovu2morrow) and exposed a lot of thoughts on there causing the 25 project to get knocked off my list :(, but I'm back now and twitter is getting pushed to the side.

Soon as the ceremony for MPA took place, I moved to CALI!!!! Where my heart never left, yep born and raised here back in love with beaches and fruit! I was ready to capture my dream of fashion and out of NY, ATL, and CA, I had no choice, but to turn where home was as a lil girl....CA. Oh did I mention I cut all my hair off and of course 2 months later I am craving my hair to be down my back again. I know it will come back just not over night *sigh.* Life continued to take place while the good was happening.

That guy that I let have a piece of my heart aka Mr. Big, yep. Was nothing but a Mr. Big Liar! But hey life lesson learned, listen to my woman's intuition, aka gut feeling. I made a pledge I will not mess up on the next go around. I repeat I will not mess it up on the next go around. (Next post put a time limit on being friends).

I moved to Cali with no job, but an education (which I am still craving more of). HA not a #failed but #winning since I wake in the mornings go for a 2 mile run at the beach then off to San Fran, LA, San Jose, or even a 20min drive to Carmel (a city where u can get cited for wearing high heels!). Oh so I never thought I would be told u are overqualified, Im like how so when I haven't done anything :/ Who knew working in retail as a manager required nothing but retail experience with no education but a HS Diploma! Im just enjoying my time off and ask God every morning I want what u want for me.

So never did I say goodbye to the 25project, but I do want to say hello again. Cant wait to share another chapter or a shall I say a new book of my life. So sit back, buckle up, and grab a martini with sugar on the rim ;).

Can't forget about you!

2011-06-16T09:32:00.005-04:00

Here we go again with the Brown Girls Blogging Hiatus. There are so many things I've been wanting to post but just haven't done it. Truthfully, I've been focused on expanding everyone's shoe closet over at my other blog "Clothing Optional, Shoes Required", but that is no excuse for not posting over here. ILYT moved clear across the country and has been busy adjusting to life on the left coast- so I suppose she gets a pass too, right?

It's summer and though I am not in school, I tend to think of summer as my transition time. I usually set goals early on and then work towards them throughout the summer looking forward to landing in the achievement arena at summer's end. This year is no different. I've got some goals, I'm working towards them, and I'm making things happen. What it means is that ~~just like everyone else in DC~~ I'm a little busy trying to figure it all out. I've found that clearing my mind of other craziness (such as stressing out about my birthday plans ~~or lack thereof~~ )is key to being able to focus on the other things in front of me. Y'all know that every year since I moved to DC, I've freaked out about my birthday plans. I attribute this to years of birthday awesomeness throughout my life and my fear that what my dad said about birthdays (that they get less exciting the older you get) will come true. But alas, I've let it go. Whatever I do, I will be happy. I won't be at work (because my BDay is a holiday) and I will make the best of it....

Speaking of making the best of things, I've also been making a conscious effort to come from a place of "yes". If you are a Real Housewives fan, you know Bettheny Frankel ~~makes a great bottled margarita~~ often talks about coming from a place of yes. What she means is that you consciously make an effort to be open to the things that you've hoped (and prayed) for. This may sound silly, but how often are we wishing, hoping, praying for something but only half-assed. Like, we hope it happens, but if it doesn't we won't be surprised. She talks about getting the most out of life by actually living it, working through it, and being positive about it. Now, I'm no Negative Nancy by any means, but I've made more of an effort to swing at the curveballs, roll with the punches, and put a goal in front of me and run like hell towards it. So if you are feeling stuck, are going through that quarter life crisis, or are just wanting something "different"- it's time to get moving and make life happen.

And now, I need to make work happen. I hope to be better about updating but until then you can follow my shoe cravings over at Clothing Optional, Shoes Reqiured!

You are the only one still standing there-MOVE

2011-05-23T09:30:00.001-04:00

Ever been passively waiting for something only to look up and realize that you’re the only person in line and you are waiting in front of a door that is displaying a “closed” sign?

I say passively waiting because in this instance, it’s not as if you are actively anticipating something, rather you are merely waiting for it to happen-right place, right time, coincidence type waiting. But then you look up one day and realize that you are the only one standing there, in front of a closed door. No one else in sight. You are the only one waiting for something that has come and gone.

Well, it’s time to start being more active in our thoughts and actions. Take a moment to take inventory of where you are, what your situation is, and where you are going. Waiting in a line of one for a show that‘s already over can only hinder your forward progress. People often get stuck in a place where they are just moseying along and not really realizing what is going on around them. It’s important to recognize in real time when the doors on a situation have been nailed shut and when it’s time to move on. Staying behind-staring off into the distance to the point that the rest is a blur- well, that just eats away at the time you could be spending living your life.

Reunited And It Feels So Good

2011-05-17T11:14:00.002-04:00

We were introduced to one another a couple years back. I, then a graduate student in Philly, had just purchased two pairs of boots after realizing that my "open toe shoe game" was NOT going to get me through the Philly winter as I lived in the middle of the city and walked pretty much everywhere. So I saw her, but used my better judgement and bought two other pairs, leaving this beauty there. For two years this decision would haunt me and the patent-leather princess would have a soft spot in my heart.

Oh but thanks to the wonderful internet, we've been reunited and I just got her in the mail yesterday! Ok, yes, I obsess over shoes sometime and in this case I'm being extremely dramatiK, but you have to understand, this shoe is awesome.Besides the fact that its patent leather which I love, it's got the subtle "SHAPOW" factor with the cheetah printed heel. It'll surely command attention!

I mentioned that there was a list of shoes "lacking" from my closet. I needed a black patent leather situation really bad. Remembering my love for this shoe, I hit the e-streez and found them! My quota for sexy black heels has now been met (I copped another pair in Florida the other day because it was such a good deal). I'm finito with the black shoe game for a minute. Now about that red shoe I'm longing for....

In other news, my intense appreciation for a mean shoe game has led me to start another blog which will be launching very soon. Stay tuned for "Clothing Optional, Shoes Required".

LOOK AT ME NOW

2011-05-11T09:30:00.005-04:00

Having a discussion the other day with ILYT, the topic of de-friending people on Facebook came up (yes, this is the world we live in). We talked about how even though you may be done with a person, no longer wish to talk to them, and could care less about them- de-friending them is questionable. Despite your wishes to never communicate again, keeping them as a friend on Facebook (and this argument extends to Twitter, GChat, and any other social media tool) allows them to see how you've moved on, progressed, and are living a great life. In essence, keeping these people linked to you via some social media tool allows you to say "Look at me now" without actually saying it. (I realize that this is the point where some of you will lie to yourself and say that you’ve never done this. Let’s be serious, you aren’t actually friends with all those people that you are connected with via social media.)

This is a natural feeling. These same sentiments are what drives the class nerd to show up to the reunion with a supermodel chick, encourages the girl that got dumped to change her look and make sure she is on POINT at all times just in case she "bumps into" her ex , and pushes us to do better just to prove others wrong. Truthfully, disappointment and loss kick us in the ass and push us to step our game up. And a lot of us do just that. We make moves, we progress, we excel. And since we are all human and no one wants their success to go unnoticed, especially by the ones that, in a roundabout way, drove us to this point. No, we aren’t looking to send out little notes saying “thank you for breaking my heart/calling me fat/saying I’d never be ish….”,we just update a status, tweet, make sure mutuals are informed so that the story of our success gets back to certain people. We want to make sure they get the “Look at me now" message.

Here’s the thing. There are two ways to look at this. For Christians, we know that when do

things according to the Word in which we believe –in conjunction with our faith- we are moved to places we didn’t even imagine. (Trust me on that one-I've got all the proof that I need.) And we also know that when we live lives according to the Word and by our faith, we don’t have to blow our own trumpets- they are sounded for us. In other words, God does the PR for us. Folks that don’t even know you-know about you. And trust, your enemies (not literal people that you are fighting against-though they are included- but those that don’t have your best interest at heart) do too. Along with that, when you are progressing and excelling, your success will speak for itself. When you are on top- you don’t have to do a lot of talking- your work and your life speak for themselves. I’m always wary of people that feel they need to boast or talk about their accomplishments (usually material). Who exactly are you trying to convince? Me? Or yourself? All of this is to say, it’s ok to let people go. We all want to say “Look at me now” at some time or another, but actions always speak louder than words. So let your accomplishments do the talking for you. Remember, “You’re dope. Their loss."

Now cheers to moving on and letting go of the excess.

*I realize that there are moments in life where you certainly have to be your biggest fan, promoter, hype man, wear a billboard with your name and face on it- all of that. But what I’m talking about is keeping people connected to you simply because you want them to see how much better you are without them. I also realize that many people use social networking for other things such as keeping in touch,

~~rekindling old flames~~ , business opportunities, ~~stalking~~ , and reliving memories. But the reality is that some people use it as a billboard of their "awesome" life- to flip a bird to all the "haters".

Obsessions

2011-05-03T09:16:00.005-04:00

It's only Tuesday and I'm completely Obsessed!

I spotted the PLV Rima about a month ago. Love at first sight. Last week I was having a moment (which I'm still having)....and I NEED a shoe. Here's the thing, I actually have a list of the shoes that I need : a nude/grey sandal, black patent leather sandal, red something, and another color! I spent all day Friday looking and didn't come up with anything. Rima is a check off of the list, but I feel like there's more out there. Meh, the search continues, but for now, I think I'll have to roll with PLV on this one.

I'm also in LOVE with the nude dresses making a name for themselves this season. I've seen these dresses done totally right and I must confess that I'm obsessed with Pleasure Doing Business' nude and black petticoat dress. I spotted this little cutie Primped and Polished nail bar/boutique. It fit perfectly (on me) and looked great. I might have to make this a BDay dress. It looks terrible on the model and I think if I would have seen it online first, I would have never given it a second look. But I think its the perfect little dress for pretty brown girls.

What are you obsessing over this spring?

It's that "one thing"

2011-04-26T14:04:00.003-04:00

yeah , like Amerie, but not really. I was reading some exercise mag the other day and someone was saying that their gym time is their time to be completely selfish for that little hour of the day. I think this was Kim Kardashian. I dunno who, doesn't really matter. But that got me to thinking. She was right. If you have a realtively busy life between work, service, and socializing, you've got to take those few moments to be completely unto your self. Not that it has to be exercising, or definitely an hour, but ideally there should be SOME time in the day that is just for you.

I'm in the gym about four days a week. Because my iPhone doubles as my iPod and my everything else, I often find myself texting, emailing, playing words with friends, all during my "selfish time". I am now contemplating breaking out the old iPod (well I think that thing is donezo), but maybe my old iPhone and using it solely for music purposes. That way my only distraction in the gym would be the newest graduates of the inmate release program that I am convinced has been started in Pentagon City.

And while we are on the subject of exercise, I started antoher week of Bikram on yesterday. Dear DC, I've found the spot where the brown peopole do Bikram. I checked out Bikram Yoga Capitol Hill yesterday and I was shocked at all the sistas coming in there (head not wrapped either). I must say that I was more impressed with Bikram Dupont's actual space, but the facility is nice. Its located in the H Street Corridor for all the folks in and around DC looking to try something new. Despite the buckets of water that pour from the body during Bikram, it is one of the most relaxing practices I've experienced. If you have a hard time finding "selfish" time, you might want to consider this. Its 1.5 hours with NO cell phone and NO talking; just listening and challenging your body to stretch beyond its farthest point.

DC Yoga Week 2011 is coming up May 15th -21st. Get out there and try something new.

Random sidebar: I know we've been absent from posting for a while. The past few months have been busy, trying, and challenging. I hope to get back to posting atleast once a week.

Lost in the Woods

2011-04-12T23:35:00.007-04:00

After 3 weeks of non activity I decide to go climb Pinnacle Mountain with a nice young gentleman. Unfortunately we didn’t make it to the top of the mountain, it was 7:36 and the sun was setting in the next 15min. By the time we made it off the top portion the sun had set. However there was the light from the moon, so we continue on the trail trying to recall which way did we go going up the mountain. Finally after walking and deciding which trail to take, we decide to cut the flash light app on the phone and continue on our journey. Of course time is ticking away as we are debating right left back or straight. I thought lets go back to where we saw a sign, since its officially dark that option was no longer an option.

Anyone that knows me, after having a sip of liquid my bladder has to release itself. Three hours passed I did drink some water on the mountain, I had to squat! For me to continue to stay calm I had no choice, but to ask the gentleman, "Excuse me but I have to squat." We continue on our journey, finally we see a new trail (base trail) and a mild marker 19. But we didn’t know if we should go left or right, we walked left for 15min and realize we didn’t see anything and seems like we are going back up the mountain. Then we turned around and walked 15min and then turn back around again. Finally the gentleman decides to call the park main number. Of course they were closed it was after hours, but there were 3numbers on the voice-mail. First number no answer, second number disconnected, third number was the superintendent of the park. He came in 5 mins to our rescue and 5min later we were back at the car. Never did I fret never did I panic. I was carefree, I was thinking if I have to sleep out here till daybreak I KNOW THAT MY GOD got me protected! When the park ranger was walking towards us he said keep your eye on the light!

It was meant for me to be lost in the wilderness. I am reminded my blessing is so close, dont give up just yet, it may be 5-10 mins away in Gods timing before I have it. I look at my blessing as the jump start to my dream, but who knows what God has up his sleeve. As we were debating left right left right, then go left but turn around to go right its the same as the scripture that talks about the double minded man. We didn’t get anywhere because we couldn't decide; I just wanted to make the right choice. I did ask God, but I was anxious I didn't listen to where he told me to go. I can say while being on the mountain I did get inspiration for my styling portfolio. Now off to bed with a shin split that is throbbing!

Iraq, Afghanista, Libya....

2011-03-31T12:26:00.004-04:00

With all that is going on in our own lives and globally, I wonder if people have fully digested the fact that the United States has entered another war. I think that we've become desesitized to the thought of war because for many of us (younger people), the US has been in conflict for much of our lives. We lived through Desert Storm, Kosovo, and are currently living through the war on terror and this new Libya conflict. Because it's been such a mainstay in our lives (and the fact that it is not actually on our soil), it is easy to forget about it. War is like something that is going on somewhere in the world, yeah it affects our pockets somehow and maybe our families if we have a loved one serving, but for the most part its a benign issue. Earlier this week I asked my 14 if she thought that people even realize that we are in another war? The answer- probably not. I came across Julian ~~not father time~~ Zelizer's article " It's too easy for presidents to go to war". If thie ease of which we entered the conflict in Libya is of interest to you, I encourage you to check it out. ~~If, however, none of this matters to you- then feel free to question your existence, sense of compassion, and willingness to accept anything that someone tells you.~~ Also, if you have a chance. Check out RESTREPO. It is a documentary that follows an army platoon in the middle of the Afghanistan conflict. If that doesn't at least make this seem a little more real for you, you might want to check for an icebox in the spot where your heart used to be.

Clarification (since I've apparently confused some people): Secretary Gates and President Obama have said that we will not have troops on the ground with the transition to NATO. Having troops on the ground is not sole identifier of being involved in conflict. Through our supporting role, the US will still be involved. For the full transcript of Obama's statement about the issue click here.

My Soul has Returned, So I Call it a Lesson Learned

2011-03-29T10:44:00.000-04:00

People say that God takes you through things to teach you lessons. I strongly believe that, but I also know that we take ourselves through things because of our own free will and our desire to do what we want. In either situation, however, I’ve realized that there are lessons that can be learned. It is up to you to figure out what the lesson was from each experience. Many of us go through repetitious cycles of mess because we never sit down and take a moment think “what was I supposed to get out of that”. Failing to ask that simple question pushes us right back into the same or similar situations which produce the same results of before. Insert definition of insanity RIGHT HERE.

Not too long ago, I found myself disappointed in myself after I made a choice. There were so many things that led to me feeling the way I did- my own psyche, the opinions of those close to me, etc. The list went on. I tend to be the listener among my friends. Aside from this blog, and a few select conversations, my sharing is limited. So I continued to be in my own head about disappointing myself. I really didn’t reach out to my circle because in my head, I didn’t want to deal with their responses. On top of that, I knew that what I’d done wasn’t pleasing to God. This is where the enemy comes in. I was almost convinced that God wouldn’t forgive me. And that led to me not being able to forgive myself. BUT in my prayer time I was reminded that the God I believe in allows for repentance. And that’s what I did. I repented. I had to remind myself that the enemy comes to attack us. But I repented and accepted that I’d been forgiven. Even with that, though, I was not able to forgive myself. I think when you do something to disappoint yourself; it’s easy to really beat yourself up about it. I remember being at dinner with my 06 and just crying and telling her all about it. And she reminded me that God forgives, and that I’d have to do the same. She also reminded me about the strength of my circle and why those people were there in the first place. She reminded me that those people that I hold close to me are those that want what is best for me, are judgment free, and are imperfect themselves. With that, I felt better and worked toward forgiving myself. It wasn’t instant. The thing is that there aren’t too many people that know us as well as we know ourselves. So I know my potential and the person I am. So I felt that I’d really messed up with my choices and that was hurtful. I did eventually forgive myself though. It’s funny, we always hear how we should forgive others but so many people are walking around harboring anger and disgust within themselves for the choices they’ve made. It’s time to do something about that.

Our experiences are the things that shape who we are and who we become. The choices we make shape those experiences. It all works together. So we have to realize that we’ve gone through things for a reason: to learn a lesson. Once that lesson is learned, we have to forgive ourselves, make some adjustments, and MOVE ON. Don’t hinder your growth because you can’t get over something that you’ve done. That’s not living, that’s not being free, and it will surely cause you to miss out on what is to come.

Red Bottoms, Loubous, Chrissy Lous....the names go on

2011-03-24T13:58:00.003-04:00

But the red sole has stayed the same. I loved CNN's look at Christian Louboutin and his design inspiration. The man observed a spider who was high and went on from there. The coveted "red bottoms" aren't just shoes, they are art. Quite possibly a masterpiece. Take a look!

It’s cold. I’m wearing flip flops and eating a cupcake on a corner.

2011-03-21T10:35:00.003-04:00

…then I spotted one of DC’s finest across the street, but wait. Let me tell you how I got to this point.

Duke played Michigan yesterday. Yesterday was a nice sunny day so I decided to head into the city to watch the game at this new(er) bar/lounge that’s been ridiculously packed EVERYTIME I’ve attempted to go. I figured that I’d leave early because, although it was a Sunday afternoon, it just might be packed. It literally took me about 30 minutes to find parking but in the end I got a good spot and headed into Redline-solo. I was greeted by this bouncer who may have early onset Parkinson’s (or may have been a boxer in a previous life). He assured me that the place was not crowded. What he didn’t say was that the place was virtually empty.

Anywho, I sat down and started watching the game. Sensing that I was getting a little tired of waiting on the bartender to acknowledge me, my new favorite barback, Ivan took my order and brought my drink. Ivan enjoys house music and strawberry ice cream. He’s from Serbia and thinks that ET said “GO HOME” whole making the “trekkie motion” with his fingers. It’s cool though, Ivan may have been a little confused about his movies but he was very sure about DJ Tiesto and all the clubs in DC. I was joined by two guys who struck up some small talk about DC, basketball, beer and the like. Let’s call them Salami and the Jamaican. No, he isn’t Jamaican but he is many payrolls, and when Jaz met him, it was among the first questions she asked him. Salami asks me what I want for my second round and ordered me a sample of some disgusting beer that it took the Jamaican (TJ for short) about an hour to actually finish but not before the bartender (who is afraid that he might be gay-according to his co-workers) called him out to the entire bar and Redline manager for taking SO long to finish such a small amount of beer. I talked with them up until the :30 mark in the Duke game, when Jaz came to join us. These party animals were set on getting it in on a Sunday afternoon, so more drinks were ordered and I think we converted TJ to a champagne and pineapple drinker.

*********

Not wanting the party to end- TJ suggested we get out of Redline and head to Iron Horse down the street. At that moment, I decided that I MUST GET a cupcake, and Jaz informed us that she was in dire need of chips and queso. Problem is, that Iron Horse doesn’t sell food. So…what is we gone do? Well we went to Red Velvet and got some cupcakes-some of us did. Salami took TJ’s phone and disappeared. When we emerged from Red Velvet with our cupcake goodness- we were on the corner looking around as the street corner saxophonist played Tamia’s “So Into You” which was strangely appropriate as I looked to lock eyes with Officer El. Somewhere in this short period of time TJ starts whistling for Salami to return. I called the phone, no answer. TJ walked further ahead to find Salami, but he was nowhere in sight. Officer EL and I exchange a wave and I ask Jaz to ~~go play in traffic~~ run across the street and give him my nimba. Being the ride or die friend that she is, she obliged and took off towards Officer El. And like a ghost, Salami returned. TJ was tuned into the convo with Jaz and Officer El and then assured me that she wasn’t going to accomplish the mission. Jaz returned and informed me that Officer El was still in the middle of issuing a ticket and wondered why I hadn’t come to introduce myself. It was simple, I was eating a cupcake and it’s not polite to talk with your mouth full. We hammer out our next location. I find a pen and write my cell on the back of my card which I was going to either drop in Officer El’s sqad car…..or tape to the windshield. I wasn’t really sure. But once I realized that Officer El wasn’t really paying attention to the person whose car was falling apart right before our eyes, I decided to hang around for a bit and introduce myself. Jaz, Salami, and TJ walked ahead and texted me to “come on” mid convo with Officer El, so we exchanged nimbas and I went on my way. As I rounded the corner to meet the crew, the car that Officer El was assisting came too, only the parts were falling off of the car. He pulled over near us to figure out what was dragging on the ground. TJ blamed me for the officer's lack of attentiveness. Shrug.

*********

It was cold outside. I was only wearing a cardigan and my flip flops were not keeping my feet warm. Someone thought it would be a great idea to run to GB. So Salami and TJ took off running across the street. Suddenly, Salami pulls a mouth guard out of his pocket and puts it in. I was really unsure what we were preparing for. Like did he catch a glimpse of a linebacker as he ran down 9th street? And who carries a mouthpiece around, like on a regular basis? We get to GB. Before we even approach the host, Salami grabs ALL (ok maybe not all but most) of the peppermints out of the jar. Like he was stockpiling peppermints. We order more drinks (SB they have happy hour prices throughout the entire NCAA tournament, #win). We get some food. We talk more. GB was about as lively as a civilized couple in divorce court. Being the most lively people in the whole restaurant (aside from our waitress with the smeared smokey eye makeup and the collarbone piercings) we decided GB was gonna be a one drink stop. We had to get out of there.

*********

Our final stop was Cuba Libre. I had to stop and put my shoes and a coat on. I was trying not to sacrifice my pedicure for the third time by wearing flip flops, but DC sent me a gentle reminder that it is still winter. Flip flops in winter=bad idea. We got to Cuba Libre, ordered a pitcher of sangria and watched as the waiter flipped his entire tray of drinks onto the floor. This was due, according to the George Bush looking fellow seated at the table, to another table member running his fingers up the waiter’s thigh and pinching him. Not true at all but fairly funny when said ALOUD in a quiet restaurant. The sangria was good. And just as TJ was about the order another, we realized that it was like 8PM. The day was done. It was time to go home.

The day started with a solo trip to Redline and ended with a couple new buddies, an impromptu bar crawl, and a man in uniform. I’ll take it.

In Defense of Black Duke

2011-03-17T16:15:00.002-04:00

Nope, I didn’t watch the Fab Five documentary. I’m sure there was some good reality TV on that captured my attention. But like most of you, I have heard the commentary about the whole thing. And since we like to take an issue and beat it into the ground, here’s my two cents.

Today my bff’s initiated an email conversation about the subject with me. They wanted to see how we each felt about the Jalen Rose comment vs Grant Hill response situation. Being a Dukie for life (eternally bleeding Duke Blue), I jumped behind my fellow alum. I understood where he was coming from but didn’t really elaborate. One responded that he thought the response was a bit much given that Jalen Rose was expressing his feelings (albeit poorly) as a teenager. That’s all good and fine buuuutttttt...

This issue extends beyond the basketball court. As a Duke alum, as a Black Duke alum, I feel that this message spans past irrational teenage feelings. It moves off of the court and onto the quad. What Jalen said is not something that many black students at Duke hadn’t heard before. Not that we’ve been called Uncle Toms, rather we’ve been accused of “talking white” and “not being black enough”. Many of us were chastised for being smart. Not all of us are from two parent homes in affluent neighborhoods, though many are. Some of us are from single parent homes in the hood where we were pushed to do better and move beyond our surroundings. Does this make us any less “black” for not choosing a school that’s around the way?

The reality is that Duke attracts and accepts certain types of students. As does Columbia, Howard, Harvard, Spellman, and the like. There's not a lot of inner city kids at Duke who didn't have the drive and someone's foot up their but pushing them to be better than their surroundings. Yes, many of us recognize that Coach K recruits ~~uppity negroes~~ a certain type of player because they fit well within his system. That is his choice. But to call these players Uncle Toms simply because they were recruited to fit within this system based on their backgrounds is irresponsible on Jalen (and anyone else’s) part. Doing so places the blame on the person (recruit) for their upbringing rather than acknowledging that we all come from different backgrounds and fulfill different niches in the world. It labels people based on how they played the hand they were dealt. Life isn’t fair. We all don’t come from privileged backgrounds and honestly, we don’t all have the same opportunities to make it out. But our differences are what makes the world spin. And though we as a country like to pick ourselves a part in every way possible to prove that we are somehow better than the next, we should remember that this sort of thinking hasn’t led to any productive results historically.

Life is Just Happening!

2011-03-17T11:08:00.001-04:00

I know its been months since I last posted, but school is paralyzing my mind so typing and looking at a computer screen on my free time just can’t happen. It will be official May 21, I will have my MPA! Therefore I’m taking deadlines and life step by step by step. A lot of events have taken place in my life, not just school, but a broken heart, Fashion Week in NY, broken skin from Miami trip, experiences at King of Diamonds Strip Club, more fashion shows and preparing for the big move to CA. I’m excited, but at the same time this past Tuesday I became sad because I will miss certain people. I’m thankful to know I can’t stay in this chapter forever in my life, so I’m ready to end this chapter and ready to start a new chapter.
Keep in mind: The promises of God are so real; I’m living in his promises right now!

80s and 20s

2011-03-16T10:07:00.003-04:00

We all know what the 80/20 rule is. Either we’ve heard it from our elders giving us relationship advice, OR we watched WDIGM and listed to the brothas break it down. Either way, we’ve heard about it and some of us have come to the point of realizing that the 20 is probably not worth the sacrifice of the 80, right? Well apparently I’m wrong in thinking that.

So here is my question? Is there a magic age or maturity level when [men] learn the 80/20 rule? Is there a specific point where guy’s realize that a 20 can never give them most of what they need. I intentionally didn’t’ say all, because I think it is very rare that we find someone that gives us 100% of what we want and need from them. I am also not saying that 80% is the most that you will get out of someone because, truthfully, this is a subjective number and could very likely be much higher for a specific person. What I can’t figure out is why some guys (and girls) are willing to accept a 20 when there is an 80+ standing around them. I mean, it takes 4-20’s to make an 80. And last time I checked, we only have one heart, so the math doesn’t add up. Or maybe I’m wrong there too. Is the heart not involved in the relationship with the 20?

I’ll be honest, I haven’t always been appreciative of the 80’s in my life. Not that I was busy peeking over at a 20, but the missing 20% in the 80, though trivial, was enough for me to let my interest wane. But I was also immature and still had some learning to do. So are all of these guys running around trying to make an 80 or 100 out of 4-5 20’s immature or are they just doing the player thing? And when does that ish get old?

Send me a pic of you...

2011-03-07T13:43:00.002-05:00

I can’t figure out why this text is sent SO often. Maybe I really am paranoid or super secretive, but this question is actually extremely annoying to me and is the reason that I’ve cut many a conversation short.

So I need to know from our man-readers, what is the point of this question? Why is it that after (some of) you meet a woman, you request a text pic? The answer to that is of interest but truthfully the reasoning behind it doesn’t matter all that much to me. The better question is why do you come at me sideways when I reply “naw, I’m good.” Trust me, following up with the question “what? You don’t trust me?” Isn’t going to get the conversation any further.

Let me just let you know a little about me. I barely send pictures to my momma’nem via text. I don’t know you, so if you think you are about to get the same privileges that the woman that birthed me BARELY gets, you thought wrong.

It’s not that I don’t trust people, but, I don’t trust people. I mean, I’m no celebrity so im not worried about you putting the pic up on some website or anything like that. But, I’m a control freak. So as much as possible, I control my image. I live in Washington, no one trusts anyone lol. I got a career and a future to watch out for. I can’t have u getting arrested and among all of your drug dealing text messages is picture of me (talking to you Detroit D-boy).

Maybe I just don’t get it.

Where did you come from?

2011-02-23T10:00:00.003-05:00

People never cease to amaze me. I mean really, like, baffle me and leave me with the o_O face.

Why is that people seem to come out the woodwork unannounced? What is their purpose? It’s only Monday and already this is a long week BUT thankfully in 3 days there will be sun in my face, sand in my toes, and drank in my cup.

I spent half of the day out of the office yesterday. When I returned, there was an email from someone I dated in high school/some of college in my inbox. A person that I hadn’t spoken to in YEARS. He said that he was looking for LMLOL who went to school in our hometown and apologized if he’d reached the wrong person. o_O face number one. So I respond with a very dry, “hey, what’s up?” I then tried to figure out how in the world he got my email address. I keep a regular tab on my Google search so I knew that wasn’t it. We don’t really talk to the same people (namely because so many people we both know-care not for him). I looked at his email address again and saw that he worked for a bank that serviced one of my student loans, but surely he didn’t get my information from there. So he wrote back and I had to ask how he got it. He then told me that he’s an investment banker at said bank and was wondering what I was up to one day and decided to search my name. And since I had a loan with them- he had my info. WTF?! Are you serious? That is unethical , illegal, and a violation of privacy. I wonder if people say the things they are thinking of doing out loud to see if it makes any damn sense. o_O face number two.
So we talk verbally later. And I feel its one of those conversations where someone asks you a question so you can ask them and they can elaborate about their lives, blah, blah, blah. One of my close friends does that- its pretty annoying. So he catches me up on his life. He just bought a house, has a good job, married, expecting a baby. Sounds like he’s living the American dream. Who’da thought the guy I knew would be this man. Congrats to him on all that…now why exactly did you break some laws to contact me?

I’m a fan of everyone moving on in life. I guess this is easier for some, but I just think there is a difference in finding someone on facebook (where I am not searchable) and running their name and fining their financial record to figure out where they live (as he mentioned “oh you live in ____ now, huh”. A casual run in is what it is, but a calculated move is a bit much (and symptomology of stalkerism- check the DSM-IV). My advice to him, the girl that is now engaged and called her ex to share her nightly dreams about him despite her engagement, and all other people who once were but currently aren’t- no need to thrust yourself back into the light of someone else’s life. Time evolves as do people, keep it moving.

I dare you!

2011-02-16T09:29:00.000-05:00

“You'll never know if you never try to forgive your past and simply be mine…
I dare you to let me be your one and only”

Though I’m a tad bit salty about not getting tickets to Adele’s show in Philly (which sold out in 15 minutes), I’ve still been listening to the album constantly. She’s got one song called “One and Only” that I really love. She basically dares someone to open their heart and allow her to show them that she’s different. Not saying she’s perfect by any means, but not the same as those that came before.

I know that our experiences shape our perceptions and even our reality in most cases. But at one point do we allow ourselves to move past those experiences and the hurt from the past into something new without brining those feelings along for the ride? Of course healing takes time which isn’t a fixed number and varies greatly by individual. How can you allow yourself to be open again after being hurt, though? Honesty and trust are a given for that to happen. And like Adele, I dare you to forgive your past and open yourself up to what is to come.
Love and be Loved.

Not a real post

2011-02-15T13:21:00.003-05:00

More of a Kudos to ILYT's post from Valentine's Day. I spent the day talking to people who were just NOT at all feeling Valentine's day and in fact said that they hated it.

Now perhaps its because my mom, like ILYT's, always made the day special and taught me to make it special for myself, but damn it! I was really sad for a lot of folks yesterday. I really can't wrap my head around it and to be honest I didn't try very hard since misery loves company. Instead, I shared my kisses with the office and smiled all day long.

2011-02-14T17:04:00.003-05:00

He loves Me, He loves me Not, He loves ME!
Today is that special day where everyone has to show love no matter if its real or not. A lot of females tend to have pity parties or dislike 2/14 because all their home girls are having quality time with their significant other or they never had a valentine. Well get over it and get your grown ass off the couch and enjoy you! I am so thankful that my mom has always gave me Vday gifts, that's just one of the reasons I don't expect a guy friend or significant other to give me anything on this day. I was thinking about people that say I cant wait for this day to be over, or I hate this day. How can you rush Gods creation, a day that was not promised to you in the first place? So ungrateful! I realized this day, like any other day is a gift from God. So before you speak anymore negativity on God creation, you may want to consider God grace and mercy for spearing you to see this day.

Feel Good MusiK

2011-02-08T10:58:00.002-05:00

Adele turned 21, made an album, named it 21, synced release dates for the 21st of January and February in the UK and US respectively, and then turned 22.

What she also did was make a dope album. Start to finish, the album is incredible. There's a few upbeat songs and lots of ballads to just vibe to. I'm not sure who her writers are, but these songs can take you through the moods and leave you in a happy place.

When you get a chance, take a listen. Here is a link to her performance of the new stuff to a small crowd in her hometown. (video starts at around the 9 minute mark). Check out the cutie on the keys too :)

Show me some skin!

2011-02-05T11:03:00.004-05:00

I know, it's cold outside and I'm pretty sure like 49 of the

50 states have a piece of snow on the ground. So who can even THINK about swimwear?

iCan. The 2011 Swim lines are out, and since ILYT and I are getting the party started a little early this year...it's time to dive in.

Swimwear can seem so blah to the untrained eye. I mean you have one pieces, bikinis, and tankinis. But designers are doing fun stuff with each of these styles. They've got everyone covered. What I am loving is the one pieces with cut out or deep v detail for those not quite ready to bare it all in a bikini. Really, it's all in the mind. Put it on and be free! Anyway here are some of my piKs from swim 2011. ~~my ode to the sexy one-piece~~

The Metro Jungle Mix Halter by Dorit International. Super Sexy and covering for that problem tummy. The deep neckline let's you show off the girls while not having EVERYTHING out.

Another FAB Dorit International piece. I love the detail with the jewels and of course that high waist to cover the tummy. It's like wearing a bikini really.

Get all criss-cross applesauce with this Vitamin A one piece. So the problem with many monokinis is that if your abs aren't kind of cut, it doesn't look GREAT (good maybe, but not GREAT). Vitamin A solves this problem with the extra coverage.

Confession: Some of these below may not be 2011 but are very cute nonetheless. All are available at Asos.

Pink, fun, and flirty. Kinda pin-up ish but iLike it.

Diesel is bring all the sex-appeal with the deep V. Its super cute, but probably not the most flattering on all body types.

This suit is called "body conscious". It offers peek-a-boo features without revealing anything really.

This twist-cut out one piece is super cute. It has the feel of a tankini but it pulls up just like a leotard.

Challenge yourself

2011-02-01T09:53:00.006-05:00

We are officially IN 2011. It's February and there's no turning back now. Like many people, I spent the beginning of the year sorting out some goals, plans, hopes, and dreams. I took sometime to clear my mind, meditate on God, spend time in prayer and devotion, spend time with me.

I always talk about purging and cleaning things out. Well the first month of the year is like a mini version of that. It is a time to get re-focused and re-aligned with yourself while making plans for the upcoming days.

I've set a few different goals for myself for the year. The ones that I am really excited about concern my fitness. I spin about 3 days a week but I want more. The hum of the bikes keep me going, but it can get a little boring so I've decided to do some things in addition to spin to keep my workouts challening and exciting. Enter bikram yoga, chair dancing, and pole classes. After my experience with Bikram the other day, I really am excited to go back tonite. It was mind clearing time. 90 minutes of thinking about nothing but how to breathe and how far you can stretch yourself into another posture. Chair and Pole are fun ways to strengthen that core. I did one chair class and I was WORN OUT! I'm looking forward to the pole and hoping that it doesn't kick my butt too much. So what prompted all of this besides my need for change?

I've decided to do the TOUGHMUDDER in October. Toughmudder is a 7-12 mile obstacle course "race" which hit the scene last year and has taken off like crazy. One of my friends asked me if I'd do it. After looking at it and seeing that I'd have to run through dangling electrical wires, I kind of thought she might be crazy. But then I thought, why not. Why not challenge myself to go beyond what I "think" I'm capable of. And with that, I'm in. And I think we are managing to get quite the "team black girl" going on. I'm stoked. But that means that I've got a lot of training to do over the next 8 months. Anyone know of a good playground with some monkey bars in the DMV area? I think it is a great personal challenge and it benefits the wounded warrior project (a great cause to support).

So now that we are "in" what do you have planned for 2011?

Hot and Wet (no 112)

2011-01-31T14:34:00.002-05:00

26 postures, 2 breathing exercises

A lot of topless men with big bellies, and everyone dripping wet.

It’s Bikram Yoga (or hot yoga).

I’ve always wanted to try this and yesterday I just dove right in. I knew that Bikram is usually done in rooms with temperatures ranging from 95-100 degrees. To be honest, though the room was at 95, it wasn’t like deathly hot. But they also pump in humidity which I wasn’t really prepared for. The stretching was great. I could literally feel my body responding to the poses and allowing itself to be stretched to new levels. I only got nauseous (which is normal) like once. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much sweat pour from my own body. I’ll admit. I loved every minute of it, and I’m going back Tuesday.

BUT warning to the sista-girls out there. My hair was a legit curly fro when I left there. Since I cut my hair (again) there was no pony tail option. And when I say you sweat- I mean you look like you’ve been standing under a shower. So word to my fellow brown girls, Bikram is GREAT, but do know that your hair will be adversely affected.

I'm Over It

2011-01-26T09:41:00.007-05:00

So I went to dinner ~~date~~ last night. I wasnt sure if I should go, but I went anyway. OMGosh he licked four of his fingers after squeezing his lemon in his water. Let me not forget wiping his hands on his shirt afterwards. This is why ~~I'm like I maybe single for the rest of my life~~, dating im over it. At first the blog started off with the hilarious males I had dinner with. The funny dinners are no longer funny to me, but probably make a great read on the blog. I really cant deal with it. IM over it!

BTW:

1. The new car smells like Hot breath mixed with the new car scent

2. He talked to his food while talking to me--no eye contact but 2x

3.He mentions he worked out earlier that day, im thinking so u didnt take a bath maybe thats the smell

4.Licking the fingers--I was thinking did he realize he just did that

5.He keeps talkin about his Japanese female friend--im thinking u may need to date her, maybe shes an x.

Got to be there

2011-01-26T09:21:00.001-05:00

It’s something that has affected people around me on more than one occasion. It’s something that we see in the news day in and day out, but sadly so many of us are becoming numb to it. It has been considered one of the most selfish acts a person can do.

I really toyed with writing about this. It’s not a pleasant topic-there won’t be any strike through comments, funny jabs, or the like. But, I keep watching the news, keep hearing the stories from people around me, and I realize that suicide is a real issue for a lot of people.

Earlier this week a little boy came home to find his mother’s body. She’d had enough and become overwhelmed so she ended her life and that of her unborn baby. Sunday, a man walked into a Detroit precinct and opened fire--his life ended that day.
Each day people deal with stresses unknown. Each day people battle their inner minds and each day some people are able to conquer those dark thoughts and make it to the next. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case for everyone.

I’m not sure how many of you all have ever had someone close to you contemplate suicide. I’m not sure how many of you are even aware of what is going on in the lives of people around you. But I do hope that each of us can take a moment, to not be so consumed in our own lives and to be unselfish enough to put our own selves aside when we see someone close to us in need. It’s amazing how I even look at myself and see that sometimes I was just “too busy” to deal with the issues of someone else. I thank God that the situation turned around but I know that if it would have ended badly, I’d regret the way I handled it.

We all need people (whether or not you want to admit it). I hope that we can all be aware of what is going on in the lives around us and that we can offer ears to hear, shoulders to lean on, tissues to catch tears, or hands to hold someone up when they really need us. This doesn’t take money, but it does take time. Let’s try to counter “the most selfish act” by being unapologetically unselfish to those that we love and care for.

Sorry for dampening the mood of the blog, but it was on my heart and hopefully it will come across the eyes of someone who needed it.

This Can't be the New 30

2011-01-16T18:44:00.008-05:00

So 'they' say at 30 we should put away childish ways. I wonder why is this an issue for some. Maybe 'we' should define childish ways, what you think? 30 for me looks to damn good. I will be at the prime of my life. Im doing great things at 25, so at 30 life has no choice but to get better.

2011-01-16T18:31:00.005-05:00

Since I wear my natural nails I am always looking for a polish that will last longer than 3 days. I was introduced to CND Shellac; the polish is to last for 14days. The cool part is the polish is not harmful to your nails, your nails dry instantly, and the polish is to stay shining the whole 14 days. The cost was $25, $10 more than a normal manicure, but if I can go 14 days without chipping I’m thrilled! The downfall is there is not a large polish selectionL. Today is the second day of wearing Shellac; so far I’m still looking at my nails waiting for chipping to take place.

I didnt know I was About to Give Birth

2011-01-14T17:28:00.010-05:00

Something that always boggles my mind is, how did you not know you were with child? Maybe I don’t understand because I have not been able to experience this. Some say I still had a cycle, I don’t have a normal monthly cycle anyway or some say I didn’t have any major weight gain or loss. I’m just curious…..How do you not no you will be giving life in 9 months or less?

Soul Mates?

2011-01-14T10:56:00.002-05:00

I posed a question in my gchat status this morning,

“Ever thought about dropping it all, moving far away, and taking a chance?”

My back (my back, who always got MY BACK) responded with a resounding (or bold lettered, all caps) YES! So after fleshing out what we both were talking bout in respect to this question, we came to the topic of soul mates. She asked if I believed in them.

My response:

Well, I’d be lying if I said I’d never considered the soul mate thing. But, I don’t really know if I believe in soul mates. I think that God has someone for me, someone who is kind, caring, and attentive and such but doesn’t bore me. But even more than that, I trust that God knows me, and knows my personality and my temperament and my heart and has someone that compliments that.

Her question was then, “I always wonder though because God puts people in our path, but we also have free will so what if we make a bad choice, then does the other person get another "right person?”

She has a good point there. What if we are presented with the one that is really for us be we opt out? Do we get a do over with that person? Do we get another person all together? Of course, I don’t know the answer to that, but maybe there are multiple people that are “right” for us. Maybe that “someone” is “some people” and it’s up to me to not fauk that up with my ~~extreme dislike for men in rubber bottom flip flops~~ silly deal-breakers. I think that people are compatible with a lot of people and that people complement each other in various ways. Do I necessarily believe there’s a 100% match for everyone, no. I think that there are people that complement one another VERY well, but along with that there’s commitment to one another, and a decision on each person’s part no not let minor differences be an option for calling it quits. I’m not sure if this exactly fits with the definition of a soul mate, so that is why I’m not sure if I really believe in that one. I also wonder what happens if you never meet this “soul mate” figure? Have you failed at love and have no hopes of having a loving and lasting relationship with someone else?

You guys have been quiet on the comments, tell me what you think? Do you believe in soul mates? What happens if you give your “soul mate” one look and decide to move on to the next? What if you never meet him or her? Speak to me.

Where'd you get that?

2011-01-13T13:53:00.002-05:00

Has anyone ever asked you where your scar came from?

I have a scar on my knee from a katydids can that I cut myself on when I was younger. I have a vivid memory of what happened and even what I learned. No running in the house! There are other scars on me that have come from one thing or another, each with its own story and lesson. Much like the physical scars that you can see, I (and all of you I’m sure) , have some invisible scars from things we’ve experienced in our lives.

I just finished listening to a sermon by Dr. Waller (my pastor from Philly) talking about scars and how we shouldn’t forget their purpose. He said something in the sermon that really stuck with me .

"Yes, I have scars on me, but they are ok to touch because they don’t hurt anymore. "

Dr. Waller spoke about how Jesus invited Thomas to touch His scar and how doing that helped Thomas to believe. Well, just as Jesus used his scars as a teaching moment, we should too.

We write a lot of stuff on this blog. I know that it can be a ~~lot~~ little random, but sometimes we actually write about different things that happen to us and the things that we’ve learned over time. I’m a pretty open person once I’ve made my decision to share (my friends know that I tend to listen more and it takes a lot for me to actually talk about me). For me, sharing what I’ve gone through, and more importantly, what I’ve learned from it is important.

So I ask you- are you using your experiences to help others? Are you harboring hate, hurt, and pain from scars that you won’t let heal? How much better would life be if we just let some things go-take the time to heal- and then use that as a lesson not just for you, but for someone else too.

2011-01-12T22:56:00.002-05:00

I was online looking for gift ideas, not for myself, but for others. Look what I came across. This was the first time I got sick to my stomach by looking at jewelry. I got sick because the beauty seemed unrealistic. Enjoy!

2011-01-12T12:31:00.005-05:00

I’m back at it again…Coffee!
I have taken a long break from the addictive drink. After inhaling the box of Hot Chocolate last week at work, I had no choice but to drink the oh so calming Vanilla hot drink with Vanilla creamer and a touch of Carmel!!!! So delicious, but I can’t make this old habit a new one again.

Who am I? No, WHO ARE YOU?

2011-01-12T09:29:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was soo trying at work. Around 10am our internet/server decided to ~~consider suicide because the rainbow had been enough~~ quit. Have you ever really considered your dependence on the internet? I think we all learned yesterday that we (as people) don’t function well without the ability to be distracted by facebook, YouTube, or Twitter. People were literally walking around trying to find something to do because without the internet, we clearly couldn’t do anything!

So after sitting around twiddling my thumbs (read: cleaning up my desk, attempting to do work that I thought didn’t require access but realizing that 99.1% of my work relies on internet/server connectivity), I decided to get up and walk around. Actually, I only stayed at work because I wanted to go to spin and happy hour with my co-workers. I bounced early and decided to spin on my own and that I’d meet them at the bar since it was next door. I didn’t get to actually work out but that’s another story for another day.

Fast forward to happy hour. After a few rounds of apps and drinks, everyone was having a good time. We established that the two awkward acting folks were indeed a couple and though they are trying to not say it, getting up from the table at the same time and saying “we have to go home now” pretty much tells all. Anywho, while I ventured down to the other end of the table, some pleasantly plump chick took a seat next to mine. People seemed to know her. And since I don’t know everyone at the company, I just figured I’d meet her when I returned to my seat. I wrapped up my convo and went back to my seat. Now, this chick looked like the type to have 100 cats at home and limited social skills. She was bragging about how she has her bosses trained to bring her back stuff from their trips ~~if she really had them, she’d be GOING on some of these trips~~ so I just sat and listened. Then she turned to me and said “ Oh who do you know, you don’t work at (name of company)”. My guess is that she was probably singing "one of these things is not like the other" in her head too.

My response: “well I have this badge that grants me access….so I’d say that I do. “
She proceeds to say that she’s never seen me and just assumed that I knew someone at the table. Now, there are like 5 black people in our whole damn office. And no, we’ve never met, but everyone at the table works together so why would you assume that I didn’t? I listened as some folks tried to smooth it over, saying well she changed her hair, maybe that’s why chunkiness didn’t recognize me. I didn’t really care, actually her being embarrassed at how convinced she was that I didn’t work there was enough for me.

Items I Must Have All Year Long:

2011-01-10T12:34:00.016-05:00

Stila Jewel Lip Glaze in Pink Diamond, Its the Barbie pink lip color for brown girls

O.P.I Panda-Monium Pink Polish, soft pastel pink with a dash of purple

Laura Mercier Warm Chestnut Mineral Pressed Powder, for a natural coverage, make sure you use this foundation with a complexion brush. The sponge that is include will give a full coverage effect.

Garnier Moisture Rescue Gel Cream, if you have shiny skin but super dry when you first wash your face. I promise this gel moisturizer is perfect for you. Oh yeah very nice small, by the way.

Mizani H2O is the water for your hair, but in cream form. I promise your hair will thank you.

ENJOY! Oh by the way, the items may not be the cheapest, but I promise they all work from hair and nail growth to a beautiful complexion.

We love free things!

2011-01-07T10:51:00.004-05:00

The rent is too damn high, we have a deficit that we are ignoring, and income tax refund checks haven't hit our accounts yet so we welcome "freebies".

Today, ZOYA is giving away three bottles of their nail polish for FREE. Of course you pay for shipping and handling (6.95) but its like buying 3 polishes for the price of one. Yes, I know it's winter and some of yall don't keep the mani/pedi sitaution fresh because its soo cold ~~reason 189737908 that you just MIGHT be single~~ , but you've got to keep it cute even when the weather doesn't. There are soo many cute colors for winter on the site. And even if you decide to protest painted nails in winter, you can get a jump on spring!

Go to Zoya.com and pick out your bottles. The promo code is FB2011.

My piKs:

Isla

Shawn

Tiffany

S/O to my 16 for putting me on :)

2011-01-03T13:21:00.002-05:00

So I get to work knowing today will be a great first day back. I notice the receptionist hasn’t showed up. So I call her and she says, OH SORRY I was going to call this morning to tell you I found another job that I started today. Before she continued I said, “Oh that’s great, have a great new year and if you need us feel free to call.” Yea right! You sit at the front very important job did you think I didn’t need to know you weren’t coming back????

2011-01-03T13:08:00.005-05:00

What a way to start the year with Mr. Big. Yep he is still in the picture. I really feel like Carrie (from Sex and the City)and her Mr. Big, there are some good things that have to end, no matter how bad it hurts. I just always wonder are things supposed to hurt this bad?????

2011-01-03T12:45:00.010-05:00

When writing papers do you ever wonder, how I got a B on a paper, I answered the question in 3-6 pages…Dealing with this issue in 2010, I found an article at work today about what grades really mean, check it out
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/26/education/26grades.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

So its up to the teacher, guess I should be more talkative like the ~~ass kissers in class~~ the other students.

Beneath the surface

2011-01-03T09:38:00.003-05:00

I don’t really get into astrology or know what your sign (or mine, for that matter) means. But, I’m a cancer. We are crabs.

I was talking to someone who pointed to that crab, the physical features of it and how it translates to my life. What she said was that, like crabs, I have a tough exterior. This toughness is sometimes perceived as a wall and for some people it is intimidating. I laughed when she said this, not because I thought she was speaking tomfoolery, but because these were words I’d heard before. Maybe there was some truth to this.

I will surely admit that I don’t really allow myself to be vulnerable or completely open until I really know people. This occurs in all types of relationships. I don’t consciously put up a wall, but over the years I’ve learned different things about people and so I am very careful about who I really allow into the inner circle of “me”.

And since I readily admit that this is a part of who I am, then I accept it. The issue I have, however, is that because people perceive this shell, they make false assumptions that there isn’t a person with feelings inside. Faulty logic if you ask me. Of course, one of my aliases is “icebox” but that is more of a joke. But seriously, some folks think that the shell is indicative of lack of feelings. Yes, I can roll with the punches. Yes I can dismiss people with no problem (a gift and a curse, I’m convinced). But this doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings. No, I don’t wear them on my sleeve. That’s just not my style, but I’m human and I feel just like you ~~sans the sociopaths~~ feel. If you take the time to get to know me, you will see that. But in the meantime, acting without regard simply won't do.

2011-01-02T12:44:00.003-05:00

I have talked so much in 2010 about life. Therefore going into 2011 I am excited about what is about to take place. This will be brief, I have so much to say, but I haven’t categorized my thoughts yet. There will be some life changing events, I can guarantee, just stay tuned.

My last post of the year

2010-12-31T07:21:00.006-05:00

This looks fun, let's go to Sydney!

ILYT and I started this blog last year in December. We wanted to catalog our journey to becoming 25, the things that make us think, laugh, cry, smile-whatever. We wanted something that we could look back at years from now that would show us where we were during this point in our lives. Well since we are both still 25, the blog isn't over just because it's been a year. And I'm sure we will continue to blog past 25 (no, we won't be changing the name).

This year has been AH-Mazing. I learned so much about me, the world I live in, and the people around me. I've watched God move in my life in ways that only He could. I budgeted and went on a spending fast. I partied. I fell in love (with margaritas and patio dining). I got my dad back. I got a new job. Other folks around me got jobs. I conquered fears. I took adventures. I told strangers my secrets. My friendships grew stronger. I let some folks find themselves out of my life (it's always important to purge). I lived. I laughed. I cried. I got angry. I got happy. I got peace! 2010 was really good to me even when it hurt. Growing pains are uncomfortable but its a part of the process and once you get through it, you realize their worth.

I told you last year that I don't make resolutions, because I try to be a better person in some way each day. In a conversation the other day someone brought up a great point. We all want an all or nothing, quick fix to whatever we want to improve about ourselves. We say we want to lose weight- so a few pounds won't do-we want to be skinTy. And when that doesn't necessarily happen instantly, we are disappointed and revert back to whatever. So instead, if you are going to set some goals for the minute, day, year- make it something manageable. If you want to be less selfish for instance. Make it a point to do something for someone else once a *insert increment of time*. No you won't be perfect, but that is something that is achievable and you will be better for it.

I'll end with my wishes for all of our followers (active and lurkers) today, tomorrow, and forever:

1) Live for you ~~not to be interpreted as being selfish~~ .

I truly believe that it is damn near impossible to be completely happy if you are constantly living for someone else. Follow YOUR dreams, love YOUR love, walk YOUR path. Of course, this is easier said than done. We all have the weight of others' expectations on us. This isn't to say that this is not healthy. Truthfully-where would some of us be without those expectations. BUT there has to be a moment when you let some of those expectations fall to the side. You are ultimately responsible for the choices you make. You've got to do what works for you, those that love you won't mind.

2) Ignore the deficit.

The US is, you should to. In fact, it's probably just imaginary anyway.

3) Let Go!

So many of us need to have control over everything in our lives. Myself included ~~my apologies to anyone who has tried to surprise me in the past~~ . Let go. Live in the moment and just breathe. This has been so great for me. The last few months, I've just kind of let things (in certain aspects of my life) just happen. No micromanaging every detail, just going with it. Try it- it works baby, it works.

4) Live in the moment.

Someone asked me how my day was going. I said, it's almost Friday! (which is probably my usual Thursday response). They said, "what is the point of today if you are always looking for tomorrow." Hot DAMN! That was a good point. We are always looking for the next thing, planning the next move, daydreaming about things to come. We are so into the future that we are missing the now. This certainly applies to dating too. Women meet a guy and by the end of their first conversation-she's got the wedding season, colors, and location picked out. WHOA NOW! Hold on one minute. The man said "hi". Stay in that moment for a while. Life gives us so many different experiences everyday, let's try to enjoy them.

5) Lose the fears.

Start with yourself. Have some face time with you. Figure yourself out. Find out what your fears are. For some it may be the dark, for others it may be loneliness or fear of failure. Whatever it is, figure them out. Make a point to address them. We are limited by our fears and it stunts our growth if we don't make a conscious decision to skirt them. Of course there won't be an instant overcoming, but working on it a little at a time chips away at the problem and eventually you'll have control over it. Be adventurous. Do things you've never done before. Thrown (some) caution to the wind!

Ok there are so many more things I wish for you but mostly (and I recognize it's cliche') I wish love upon alllll of you. Love for yourself and others. Gotta start with you. But love for others is equally as important. Not just romantic love either. Like genuine love for other people that makes you want to be and do better. I don't understand how people can be so consumed with their own affairs that they are oblivious to the suffering of others or are too selfish to do something to make a difference. Take a moment (or a thousand) and do something that doesn't directly benefit you for a change.

Happy New Year To All of You!

All my love,

Little Ms. Living Out Loud

Do You Drink Your Blemish Fighter???

2010-12-10T17:39:00.007-05:00

Yes it's true; I have a guaranteed blemish fighter for males and females that you may drink in your White Russians. Since 2006 I was introduced to a few Indian beauty secrets. I promise it works and it's cheap. Half and Half Milk is the secret:

1. Pour some milk in a pot.

2. Allow the mil to boil.

3. Let milk cool.

4. Once milk is cool, there will be a thin layer. Scoop the top film and apply to whole face or spotted area.

5. Allow film to stay on face for 5 minutes or overnight.

(I prefer to sleep in the film)

6. Peel or rub to remove film or wash face as normal.

The film will fold over and or break a part. Dont worry, its ok, just apply in small parts. I use half and half at night for 5 consecutive days. Going into the second week you will see dramatic changes. If the pot is too messy to clean, pour the milk in a microwavable container. Follow steps 2-6 above. Instead of throwing the milk out, put top on container and put in fridge for next day use.

100 Million Dollar Slaves, Imaginary Deficits, and Doctor Visits

2010-12-10T09:34:00.003-05:00

I’ve been collecting my own opinions all week and since I haven’t had time to write about things individually, I just decided to put it all in one mash-up post.

1) Last night Cam Newton took home 3 major college football awards. I’m hoping that this was only the beginning and that he takes home that Heisman on Saturday night. His look was competed with orange lining on his well-tailored suit and a big white (enough) smile, his family was there to support him. All looked well except one thing was missing-his dad. Now if you’ve been following this whole story, you know that Cam’s father has decided not to attend the awards ceremonies because he allegedly took (or planned to take) financial incentives for Cam to play football for a certain program and he doesn’t want this whole thing to overshadow Cam’s night. So because of his transgressions ~~since this is a sin in NCAA football rules~~ , he was and is unable to take part is what is sure to be a memorable weekend for Cam. Here lies my issue with the WHOLE thing. The NCAA has these rules against gifting and financial gain to players and while the intent is good-I guess- the reality is that they are frequently ignored. No you might not get a check cut to you directly, but when that diamond encrusted watch showed up in your mailbox-addressed to you with no sender…you knew what was up, right? The NCAA expects these men to come out and give their all on a field, expose themselves to career or life threatening injury, and be whatever they want them to be when they want them to be it. THIS is why these guys leave and go to the league early when possible. It just doesn’t make sense. I can’t even fathom the amount of money that athletic programs bring in for their schools and the guys aren’t really getting a whole lot of benefit from this. I’m not taking credit away from the money spent in scholarships but I can guarantee that figure pales in comparison to the amount brought in by these guys at some of the powerhouse schools. Wait- I got on my soapbox –oh yeah, my question is what good does it do to rob Cam Newton and his father of sharing in this award season experience together? What’s done is done and I somehow doubt that the folks offering the money have been banned from anything. As a matter of fact, I’m quite sure that the room was full of folks that have arranged “gifts” at some point or another. While I realize that Cam’s father probably wants what is best for Cam at this point and has therefore chosen to stay away as planned, I can’t help but wish this brotha’ (and the community) were a little more vocal about this. But hey, somewhere in OUR history this ~~taking black fathers from their families~~ has been done before, right? I wish Cam all the luck in the world. I hope he takes home the Heisman this weekend, because the boy is BAD (and because LaMichael’s name is strange and there’s something that throws me off in his facial region).

2) Can I borrow a few trillion dollars? Do you even know what a trillion dollars looks like? Well that is apparently where the US deficit is… in the trillions. Since I (nor any of the people I’ve asked) have no clue what it looks like, and since we are continuing to spend as a government- I’ve decided that the deficit is imaginary and doesn’t exist. At this juncture, the Bush tax cuts are going to be extended oh but wait..don’t forget that we threw a few more months of unemployment your way. So before you complain…you betta’ recognized that we did SOMETHING to help Americans that are struggling to stay afloat. But with these cuts, the message that the government is really sending is that “we got money to blow.” Because CLEARLY, if we really had a deficit that needed to be paid down, we wouldn’t be making costly moves like extending cuts to folks that can (let’s be real here) actually afford to pay taxes. Who exactly do we even owe all this money to? And if we don’t pay them what is gonna happen? I mean, it’s not like we accumulated this debt in the last couple years, so we’ve obviously been owing some people for decades. Hell, at this point let’s just not talk about the deficit anymore and maybe it will go away. Imagine if we as individuals took on this school of thought, which our government is teaching us. What if we just continued to spend and spend and not pay anyone back ~~yes I’m aware that some of our people BEEN on that~~ ? That would cause a problem right? So why is it ok on a national level? Don’t worry, I’ll wait for the explanation.

3) One other piece of legislation that’s sitting on the President’s desk is the “Doc Fix”. Basically if nothing happens soon, Medicare reimbursement is going to be cut by like 25%. The fear is that as a result, doctors are going to drop yo granny like a hot potato. And since granny is the matriarch of the family, we can’t have any of that going on. So the proposed “fix” is to increase payments on health care subsidies for people that receive too much benefit (either from lying on their income reports OR if their income changes). The current cap on the repayment is set at $250 for individuals and $450 for families, but that would change to between $600 and $3500. So, basically our “fix” is to take from some to give to others which is apparently perfectly fine in this instance BUT not ok when it comes to the tax cuts? If there is one thing that I can’t stand in life, it’s inconsistency. I’m me all the time, hate it or love it. I’m consistent. The government, however, is not. And now we have this. Is anyone paying attention to what is going on here? Are we ever gonna get on the good foot as a nation?

That’s it for my rant this week. Feel free to comment. What are your thoughts on Cam Newton (or ARKANSAS going to the Sugar Bowl)? Do you know where I can get some this extra money that the US has lying around? Should I stop paying back my government loans and just ignore my “deficit”? What about the “Doc Fix”, will it work? I’m listening.

Do you mind if I blog about this?

2010-12-03T09:33:00.002-05:00

No, I didn’t say that. But that is what I meant by each and every laugh issued last night.

After days of texting, Baby Ciroc and I decided we should go out for drinks last night. He asked where I wanted to go and while I really wish that guys would just pick a place and give me a time, I realized that with him-that might land me in a bar with a bunch of barely legal fist pumpers, so I decided on a sports bar. My rationale: it’s a place I frequent enough and there are two games on…so if I get bored, I’ll just watch the game. Fair? I think so.

While I’m parking in my spot, Baby Ciroc drives by me. I saw him, but he didn’t see me. I also saw all four (which I was later informed is actually six) TV screens illuminated and all I could do really was sigh and remember that this would at least give me something to blog about.

Since he was still looking for parking, I went in and grabbed a seat. Now, I kind of forgot what he looks like, so when this one brotha with some tight slacks and a tan, zipped up to the neck members only jacket walked in and looked around in search of his party…I got a little nervous. Thankfully he made his way to another table.
I get a text “I’m at the entrance” so instead of getting up and going to get him…I text him to walk straight in. Sidebar: he’s shorter than I remember. Ok, so as he is walking over…I’m greeted by his cologne which smells like Lysol. Really. Those of you that know me, know that my sense of smell is my curse and so that was like the only thing I could focus on for the most part. As he sits down I ask him to say his name, ‘cause I have no idea how to pronounce it- at all. He says his name is “peter”. Gary Coleman face, “boy whatchu talkin’ bout?” ~~see what I did there~~ . That’s not your name. He pronounces it, but I honestly forgot it between the Lysol smell and the rest of the conversation.

The waiter comes to take our drink order and he orders a “pineapple juice and apple”. The waiter and I are BOTH confused…but we BOTH ignore it and roll with it. I mean that is what the man ordered, right? Until the waiter comes back and is like…ughh u want pineapple juice and apple pucker? No apparently ole boy meant apple vodka but they ain’t got that, so the waiter suggests a standard goose and cranberry. “Naw I don’t mess with goose no more.” Apparently (last week) when Baby Ciroc turned 22, they had a table at the club and someone bought him a bottle of Grey Goose which he poured OJ into and walked around the club with-finishing the bottle in its entirety. I’ll admit, I’ve been off the club scene for a while. So, I asked him “what club they do that at?” . I mean…who walks around the club turnin’ up a bottle. He said Ibiza. It all made sense. So at this point I’m like ok...you get a table when you go out and you have 4 TV’s in your car. You fancy huh? He corrects me- its SIX tvs, 14 speakers, and he’s been looking at rims lately. Then he will be done with the truck. His goal is to make a whip that little kids point to and say “bingo that’s my car”. His words, not mine. So I was like, ok so you blow money fast I see. But you’re young so whatevs, I guess. He then tells me that he is obsessed with cars. Then a commercial comes on with car noises and his attention shifts to the TV (this actually happened every time a car or movie commercial came on). Apparently loud noises and lights captivate him.

The conversation continues and suddenly his phone lights up and I hear a “chirp”. I tried to ignore it as he answered it then I realized that he was “chirping” like…NEXTEL CHIRPING in 2010. At this point I’m literally laughing out loud. I asked him , are you chirping people RIGHT NOW? His answer, “me and all my friends downloaded this app so we don’t have to call each other”. Sigh. Littleeyebigsee. We keep talking and then he’s holding his phone like a game boy…and I hear a little jingle playing. “Oh I’m playing angry birds.” o_O

Let me pause and recap here. You smell of Lysol, buy bottles and TVs, are distracted by commercials, “chirp” your friends, and you are playing angry birds right now? ARE YOU 12? ~~yes~~ .

The convo was blah. He insisted on letting me know how he’d been in the streets since he was 12 and how grown he was. I then told him that he was younger than my little sister sooo….I’m not convinced. He asked “so what are we doing”. My response, “you’re gonna pay this tab and we are gonna be out”.

We walk out in the same direction- he starts his car from fifteen blocks away (don’t you have to be in a certain radius to do that?) and we part ways. I now smell of Lysol…but at least iLaughed.

Q: “So what do you do in your spare time?”

2010-11-29T13:31:00.002-05:00

A: "Church"

The question of whether or not the church is to blame for so many black women being single has been raised before. I’m not re-inventing the wheel here, just adding my own commentary.

I was talking to someone at church last night while we were both serving. She got to rattlin’ off all the ministries she was a part of and how she had to be here, here, and there on this day, that day, and this other day. As I listened, I couldn’t help but think to myself…”GAW what else does she have time for?” She’s an attractive women, accomplished in her career, but no ring on that finger. So aside from all of the other things it could be that keep her single…could her eagerness to be involved in ~~every~~ ministry. I mean, if you spend 6 of your 7 nights at church when do you get out to explore the world , meet people, have quiet time, ANYTHING?!

So what do you think? (in this context) Could the church be keeping black women single?

2010-11-23T16:41:00.004-05:00

Lets CELEBRATE!!!!

I'm officially accepted in Capstone 2011! It has been a journey and this is only the beginning. Back to the books.......

I do it for my people!

2010-11-22T16:13:00.001-05:00

I’m young, single, no attachments, and I’ve made it a point to just experience life. But I swear, some of this stuff… I do it for the story.

After Arkansas’ win on Saturday I was energized ~~mostly because I’d been in bed for half the day~~ so I decided I was going to go out and grab a drink…Solo. I wanted a pineapple spicy from Buddha Bar so I figured why not? I got dressed and hopped in the car.

As I was leaving my neighbors car was outside of the gate. We’ve exchanged glances and smiles a few times, so I waved per the usual. For about a second, I was distracted by the four TV screens lit up in his car…but I digress. Anyway, he was putting something in his back seat, waved back, and got in his car. He pulled up next to me and asked when we were going out…unfortunately the lights kept changing soo we never connected.

SB from this story: went to Buddha Bar and landed me a sponsor (who told me that my mom told me to watch out for those Italian men) lol. My friend met me there just after my sponsor left. We chatted for a bit and were greeted by the crying game, a hostile J, and a prostitute after leaving. iCant.

Back to the neighbor. So I left him a note since we never got to finish our convo Saturday night. Talking to him today and he’s 21 (for a few more hours) <- his words. Umm I think that makes me a cougar. He also tells me that I can’t pronounce his name, and he was right ‘cause I have no clue how to even go about that one. I stumble across his myspace page….which literally had me dying (well that and the conversations about this from gchat). Digression: As I’m typing this…the “sponsor” just texted me about grabbing dinner, hmmmm. Where were we, oh yea. So he has a my space. Is he 12? So I ask him what he does…he’s in the military…and he works at Domino’s. Now, my awesome friends are really going in at this point. Some feel that if nothing else, I can get some free pizza ~~but I don’t even really eat domino’s~~ , others are asking me if I’m crazy, cuz I’m thinking of getting drinks with the kid. I mean…he’s legal right. My mom thinks I should go…and she’s 100% against the sponsor, my dad thinks the sponsor is hilarious. This is great. I generally don’t date folks younger than my sister though….sooo….hmmm.

I should probably just do it, right?

No, he doesn't hate you black man...

2010-11-09T15:40:00.003-05:00

WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILERS

The black community has been buzzing about TP's "For Colored Girls" since it's debut this weekend. There's a great mix of love and hate going on about the movie. One great sentiment that I've seen from many men is that TP hates black men...and that shows through this movie. While he does tend to show some men in a negative light, he does also show stand-up guys too. Truthfully, I don't think he was showing hate towards anyone with For Colored Girls ~~except Kimberly Elise as he clearly refuses to let this girl's hair be great~~ .

What Perry did with this movie was not take a play verbatim and put it on camera. Yes, he took some creative liberty and introduced names and faces to these stories. What he also did was take the opportunity to spark a conversation about stories that we never really hear about until its too late. We don't talk about the woman who gets her arse beat everyday until the story of her death appears on the news. We didn't talk about brothas marrying women but "enjoying sex with men" until someone was bold enough to write a book about it and appear on Oprah. We don't talk about the many women who are pregnant and scared and find themselves in the hands of an unlicensed aborter who ends up damaging their bodies permanently. We don't talk about the shame associated with being young and pregnant and repeating generational cycles because in some circles teenage pregnancy is so accepted that we can't imagine that someone not want to have the baby and NOT know where to get the right information for safe procedures. We don't talk about how that untreated STD from that guy that you loved and was your first damaged you to the point that you can't build a future with your soul mate until all options have been exhausted. We overlook that so many women use their bodies to get the love back that someone stole from them when they violated their trust. We don't even really talk about the woman that lets a man in and out of her life over and over again just so that he can trample all over her heart and self esteem. We don't talk about date rape, because after all, you were on a date with the person, right?

So you mad cuz our dirty laundry is out in the open? Or are you mad because you looked on the screen and saw a glimpse of yourself? Are you mad because you didn't see yourself but you saw the face of someone you never reached out to because you are so consumed with your own life? Or do you simply hate that the movie wasn't taken verbatim from the play?

I truly think that people find the time to take issues with any and everything. This is clearly no different with "For Colored Girls". I thought the movie was great. Was it emotional? Yes. Did I leave feeling like I should consider suicide? No. It was a movie, and as EJC has pointed out...these aren't my plights. But I did leave with a certain feeling of empathy for the women and men who endure these situations, make these decisions, and live these lives everyday.

C'mon folks..what are your thoughts?

Missing in Action

2010-11-09T14:29:00.002-05:00

We've been so slow with blogging lately. We haven't forgotten about you guys. Life has been happening and changing for us...leaving littel time for blogging but promise we will keep the great stories coming!

I'm sure you could use some laughs about the resurrection of Homer J. Simpson and the apparent abduction or death of the man in the mirror...but i'd rather blog about the one thing that I've decided is off limits....oh wells!

A Happy Gesture This Week....Blooming

2010-10-28T23:35:00.003-04:00

This past Saturday it was time to replace my fresh flowers. This particular batch is beautiful, however one of the flowers will not bloom, but the others are almost dead! Last night I looked at this one flower and figured I prob will have to trash it. I woke this morning and look at the pic above. It was bloomed to the fullest! This simple gesture made my day.

A Cute Gesture This Week.....Common

2010-10-28T21:57:00.010-04:00

After dealing with a root canal that was so painful, I came home finished a paper and decided to go see Common speak. The speech was on Greatness: Find it, Believe it, Live it! I was impressed especially after realizing I need to take more risks in life. I wondered if Common remembered me from the Atlanta show with John Legend back in 04 (i think). Then I came to reality and said he want remember that, but he may because he took my cell phone and start rappin on it. Instead of asking about ATL, I asked if he kissed girls on the check, he says yes and landed one on me!

Of course I left with a smile, but then I start thinking, Oh snaps is he married or dating. I don't think so, plus the kiss was just a nice gesture, like a hug.

Adventures in Merryland: The Adventure Park at Sandy Spring Friends School

2010-10-25T09:39:00.007-04:00

The day finally came. We were going to the Adventure Park at Sandy Spring. Over the summer, we saw an ad for it in a local paper and I wasn’t completely sold on the idea of going. Jaz, of course, was. Then I wrote that post after my flight to Vegas about conquering “fears” and being more adventurous. Lo and behold, a Groupon popped up for the Adventure Park and it was on from there.

Satruday afternoon we got in the car and headed to uncharted land. Sidebar: there is a whole “religious row” in Maryland. Has anyone ever seen it? There is a house of worship for like EVERY religion there. Crazy. Anyway we soon found ourselves amongst big houses with huge yards ~~for a moment I thought I was back home~~ , horses, and grass.

We arrived to a clearing, parked in the grass, and were met by stink bugs and this furry little caterpillar.

After putting our name on the list, we waited around for them to call us. The place was pretty busy and there was a wait. In the meantime, we asked some people who were finishing up-what their thoughts were. Surprisingly there were quite a few brown folks there. There was even a group of about 4-5 sistas doing the course together. I was quite proud of us actually.

They called our number. We got harnessed. Got the gloves. And went to safety training. All was well at this point. Then we started to climb to the main platform and I felt a wee bit of a “punk out” coming on. I convinced Jaz to start on a beginner course and we got started. Once we got going, it wasn’t so bad. We crossed a few bridges, walked some rope. And then got to the zip line-Jaz went first. I was left on the platform with two strangers. And I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. I mean, really, who thought that being suspended from a wire connected to two trees was a good idea. I hooked in and sat on the platform and the chick behind me just said- “scream if you need to”. So I let go and screamed realllllllllly loud. OMG I loved it. By that time the course was starting to get a bit backed up, I’d missed calls from 27 who was meeting us there, and there was a set of deer getting their eat on below us. OK, I know we are in their “home” and what not, but why were these deer so firkin comfortable just eating while there are folks flying and running around them? I was absolutely not ok with the deer. By this point, the reason for the back up had been identified. These three women were waiting on each other before starting the next bridge. So now everyone is pissed and finally someone yells at them to keep it moving. 27 arrived and watched us finish up the course. She and I hit another beginner course which we finished in like 5 minutes. There was a little girl on the zip line who was soo scared to go. I guess her dad got fed up with her crying and just left her there. Talk about tough love. I guess he figured that if she really wanted to get down, she would get a rescue or hook onto that zip line and keep it moving. Anyway, that one was much easier. Perhaps it was because I’d just done one on the same level, I’m not sure. We finished it quickly and I think that Jaz was only like halfway done with her “green” course so we started on a “green” of our own. It was cool, lots of bending around structures and walking on tightropes. It was a bit tiring though. So we did about half and decided to use the escape ladder to call it quits for the day. UMMM…the ladder wasn’t anchored to the ground. And I was beyond sure that I was going to smack right into that tree, but I didn’t :).

We got down, got water, and started talking to Dan, the lumberjack-carpenter-outdoorsman, and all around sweetheart. Dan was building a campfire for the Night Crawl event. (Sidebar: I don’t know who in their right mind would do those courses at night wearing only a head light and a glowstick, but to each his own I suppose). Anyway, we talked to Dan for a while and then the evening got interesting.
I pulled my ticket out of my shirt pocket as we headed towards the car. And went over to the other pocket to get my key. Umm…it aint thurr. Yes, read that out loud. WHERE IS MY KEY? So I tell Dan that I lost it and he gives me a headlight to go into the woods and search it out. After a few minutes of looking, we had nothing. Then we get stopped by some chicks to take a picture of them and I think I snapped at first. I didn’t mean to, heck they didn’t know that I’d just misplaced a $300 key. Anyway, as we are thinking out the options- Jaz asks if AAA would be any help. Yes, AAA can open the car, I can pop the trunk, we can get the keys to my apartment and I can get my spare and get my car. She gets on the phone with them and I decide to call my apartment complex to see if someone could let me in just in case AAA is going to take hours to get here. The woman says that my complex doesn’t offer lock-out services after hours. WTF. Yep, it’s more than time to move ~~for soooo many reasons~~ . AAA says it will be like 45 minutes. 27 offers to take me home to get my spare. She leaves to get some food but because there is NOTHING out here in the woods, her adventure takes a while. Jaz and I sat around Dan’s campfire until the AAA man arrived. He didn’t call first. He pulled right up (he later told us that he’s been here a few times for lock-outs). He was also bumping rap music. The AAA man MUST be a rapper. David gets out the car, very Eminem-esque. Tatted up- but so professional. He broke into my car (legally) and the alarm went off, simply because the iKey wasn’t around. I tried to pop the trunk. NOTHING! Apparently as a security feature, the trunk won’t open without the iKey present. ARRGH and just as I’m freaking out- David tells me to calm down. He climbs into the back seat, pulls down the seat, and gets my purse and Jaz’s bag out of the trunk. He put everything back where it was. Yes, I’m harping on his good service because lots of customer service people give TERRIBLE service but David was GREAT! We get into the car, turn the alarm off. Jaz retrieves her AAA card and 27 pulls up. Perfect timing. We go home, get the key, and we return to my car. I leave my info at the park just in case someone finds the key.

At this point, I’ve accepted that I’m down to one key because I just don’t see myself purchasing another iKey anytime soon. Oh well, at least it made for an interesting story right?

Fast forward to Sunday. I got a call from an unknown number ~~and since black people don’t answer calls from unknown numbers, I let it ring~~ / . I listened to the voicemail. It was John. Another guy from the park. SOMEONE FOUND MY KEY! I went right over and picked it up. Dan was there, harnessing folks. He and John were happy that someone found it and so was I! Great ending to an eventful weekend.

I've been meaning to tell you...

2010-10-21T15:53:00.002-04:00

So I haven’t been able to blog lately. Been busy. I decided to just put all of the things I’ve been wanting to say in one post. Like to hear it? Here it go.

While you “love your hair”( I love this little video BTW and the story behind it), I’ll be whipping my (permed) hair back and forth, k?
The funny thing is that a guy asked me to post about the natural hair crusaders. Apparently the fellas ~~excluding the ones that refer to themselves as God or you as Queen and Nile River Princess~~ are actually JUST as tired of hearing about the natural hair movement as I am. I get that some of you had unhealthy hair or decided to go au natural to get healthier hair. I do contest that you can have healthy hair either way if you know what you are doing, but that’s neither here or there. To these women, I have no qualms with you. But to those of you that are convinced that every sista with relaxed or otherwise processed hair has some type of self-hate issue…get over yourself. I love that people forget about the half of Africa where people have hair that is fine and straight. Not to mention the fact that my bloodline ain’t pure so maybe I’m embracing the “Indian” in me. Truthfully, I feel like so many chicks are doing it because it-like most other things they do- is a fad. Here’s a novel idea, do what works for you and let that be the reason for it. Puhleez don’t go holding your nose higher than someone else because you are ok with your kinky hair-mine is really curly, I choose to straighten it because it works for me!

When did yall get so needy?
This is a legit question of mine. Now perhaps every guy I’ve met lately has been used to women beatin’ down the door, blowin’ up their phone, ~~and bustin’ windows out their car~~ beggin’ for attention but here’s a newsflash: THAT AIN’T ME. Calling or texting me with the “I don’t pay you enough attention” line isn’t a way to get more attention from me. I can promise you that. Here’s a thought, maybe I really am busy. Or maybe I’m just not into you like that. Either way, you whining about it is not cute in the least bit. Sigh….

The “black woman” attitude
I’m sure by now we have all seen the “Black Marriage Negotiations” and all of the other videos along those lines. I think they are hilarious and sad all in the same right. I know women like this. They are my friends. I fear they will be single forever. You know women like this too. Honestly, think to yourself, if you were a guy…how many of your friends would you actually date? I know the number on my list is limited. These attitudes are getting on my nerve and I share the same hormone make-up as yall, I can only imagine how guys feel! Ladies, life isn’t that serious. Relax, breathe, chill, live in the moment for once. And un-frown your face! UGH! Maybe if you were more approachable, you’d find that the “there are no single, datable guys” thing is just a line that women use because they have made themselves so unapproachable that they repel any potential suitors. Or atleast someone wanting to “smang”. HA!

Speed Dating Recap

2010-10-14T10:20:00.006-04:00

Edited: Names have been changed to protect the innocent. ~~but you know who you are~~

Fried or Fertilized

That was the top question on my list.

I got a call from Jaz yesterday inviting me to a Speed Date event in the city. Never one to disappoint… I was in.

We arrive at the venue and its-small. We made our way through the crowd to the bar only to be bumped and bruised by DC’s anti-finest. It was like we were at an event for the young and rude. Only in DC have I repeatedly experienced ~~fancy~~ rude men. Ugh. After waiting at the crowded bar for like 10 we finally order our drinks. It’s Wednesday night, and while the rest of the crowd was going “HAM” –we opted for beer (which without fail becomes the topic of conversation). So we wander around for a minute to find a place to squat. After settling in- this guy says he’s not going to participate in speed dating because he was surrounded by enough women right where he was. OK- so as he talked Jaz’s ear off about how they do the same job (which they don’t), why she’s drinking a beer (and he’s empty handed), and what his name is (which I suppose, she was supposed to guess based on the initials monogrammed on his shirt)- I looked past them to observe the room. I took inventory of the other chicks in the room and I genuinely felt bad for some of them. The look of desperation and thirst was painted on with emotional body paint. I could tell they were serious about the event and catchin’ them a man ~~I blame all those damn CNN reports for this~~ . SO then the annoying guy starts talking to his friend with the grey linen (read: summer appropriate fabric) jacket and a big butt which literally knocked me over because he felt the need to “squeeze” by me. Your arse is too big for that. And didn’t say excuse me. Ugh.

The event was a little disorganized. So as we waited for our “round” we started to look at the guys that hadn’t gone yet and knew that we would be in for quite the ….experience. We sat down for one round but were booted by the organizers and side-eyed by a couple thirsty chicks who were anxiously awaiting their turn to meet Mr. Right ~~now~~ because of a “mix up” so we went downstairs to the grown folks lounge until it was our time. When we came back upstairs we met T-. He was sitting at the bar, with a plate of burger and fries. I was debating about asking him for a French fry buy damn if he hadn’t devoured them by the time that I looked back down at his plate. He went on to explain that he’s a student so he only eats a meal a day or something and that his momma only taught him to cook eggs and steak (which he can’t afford), so he starves.

At some point in the night we started a question list. The first three questions were: (1) fried or fertilized, (2) can you teach me how to dougie, and (3) Gucci or waka? The entire list was 12 questions long , but I knew that I would get what I needed from those three questions. My rationale: if you entertained any of these questions then you probably don’t take yourself too seriously and are laid back, I can dig that.

Finally, it was our turn to sit. Now to the stank heffa that saw me toss my purse in the seat and proceeded to sit at the table anyway and then acted like I was speaking Latin (yes, I know it’s not a spoken language) when I told her that there was an open seat at the other table…you get a “chile please.” We held our spots down anyway and jumped right in. In summary : all but maybe one or two of the guys I met were Kappas ~~though I ‘m not sure they were all Nupes~~ , were either from Durham or Michigan, and were either in law or medical school or were currently practicing. To be fair-this event was hosted by HU Law students so I guess that was to be expected. And I’m not sure but I think some of them may have had some “challenges”, I’m not sure if it was the really slow talking or the creepy smile, but yeah.

Ok so now onto the characters we met:

First up was curly haired Nupe –Morehouse Grad. He was nice. He was from Detroit and had no desire of going back. He’s Georgia barred so his plan is to move to Atlanta in 6-9 months though he said that he’s been saying that same thing for 6-9 months. There wasn’t really anything standout about him. I’m not sure that I even got to the questions list with him so…..

Uh I don’t even remember the order of these people….

Grey shirt nu Kappa.- ok his head was a little large, his speech was a little slow, and his smile was creepy. When asked “fried or fertilized” his answer was fertilized (as was the choice of everyone that I asked) and NONE of them knew what I was referring to. He was from Durham. I think he was a law student but I was just really confused by his presence. I think I was a little creeped out and wasn’t sure where to look.

Then there was the medical student. He had on a nice tie. His baby fro was a bit out dated, but I suppose he’s good with it. He spent the entire three minutes talking about his interest in men’s health and how prostate cancer is killing our men. He went to some small school in Alabama and was apparently older than he looked. He also wore the smile of a creeper…or maybe he was just eager.

There was "That Guy" I think he was drunk. He didn’t answer questions (with truth). He went to the U for undergrad and it turns out that we know some of the same people. His line to me” ay can we just forget the little paper. Can I just have your number?” Umm sir that’s against the rules and time is up. He moved on to Jaz and I guess he was still talking about getting my number…she also reiterated that was against the rules. FF to the end of the night. He sees me leaving and says Oh you were gone leave without giving me that number huh. So he slips me his on a piece of paper that says “Call me (Name) (xxx)xxx-xxxx)”. I looked at my cell once I left there and I coincidentally had a message from the person that he and I both know who confirmed that he was wack and indeed one of those people who feels the need to know everyone. Ugh. I’m good.

Then there was the series of kappas from philly. They all went to either UPENN or Drexel, were linebrothers or neos, and smelled of similac. There was the cookie (or french fry) monstor who (go figure) was the baby in his family and the starving student. Next came "Losing Isiah" who was soft-spoke and probably a little socially awkward. There was Apollo or whatever his name was- from Sierra Leone. He apparently went to one year of high school in Oak Cliff (TX) and considered himself BFFs with a friend of mine from college. I wonder if TX even remembers him? Anyway I asked him if he could teach me how to dougie…he said no. He doesn’t do that. Ugh. I guess he’s too fancy.

I don’t remember which guy this was but I told him to pick a number 1-3 and he picked 4. I asked him kindly to pick 1-3. We ended up going through all three. He preferred fertilized, said he does “coon” so he could not teach me how to dougie, and looked appalled that I would ask a question “Gucci or waka”, he chose Gucci because he might have a small advantage on the intelligence front over waka. At this point I decided that he was not enough fun and thankfully time was up. G’bye.

I know I’m leaving some people out. Oh there was "one of the organizers"- the guy that had us sit down the first time (when we got booted) and insisted all night that "it wasn't his job to do x, y or z". He was so anxious to talk to the stank chick on the other side of me that when he sat down..I told him that I hope I wouldn’t disappoint because he was just so excited about his last encounter. He decided that I was holding a grudge from earlier or something. I don’t remember ish about him. Really.

OHHH I forgot about the turtle looking guy. He legit reminded me of the Terp mascot. He was filling in for someone. A third year in law school. I don’t remember where he was from. He was strange.

The last guy I met was an alpha from ARho (Morehouse and a different breed of APHIA). He was cool. He was actually from Durham and went to law school with my linesister so he started naming people that we probably knew (even though I told him that I probably don’t talk to whoever it was). He named someone by their nickname and I was just perplexed at the fact that they go around identifying herself as such….aren’t you grown? Prob not. Anyway. He’s been here a couple months. Clerks for a judge and deals with felons on the regular which he says are always guilty in his cases :/. He was a nice ending to the night.

Alas, it was over. I didn’t fill out my sheet. Honestly, I forgot to fill it out and I wasn’t taking it seriously so….yeah.

It was a good time (minus the dis-organization and rudeness). I’d definitely do it again. Any of you ever been?

Gimme Dat

2010-10-11T18:40:00.001-04:00

This has been a staple on my iPod since mid-summer. It provides the perfect beat to run or spin to. And now Ci-Ci has come back with a video and a few steps. I seriously got a bit nostalgic about those four hours a night/ four and five day a week step practices.

Enjoy!

iLove: Exploring the City

2010-10-07T10:58:00.007-04:00

Ok the pic of the Balenciaga shoe is totally random...but me likey!

Last night, MM and I went to "A View from the Top", the DC Foto Week Preview event at 425 Mass. Honestly, it was such a good view we called 06 to come and join us. To my surprise, she actually did which was awesome!

Anyway, we get there, offered blue martinis upon arrival and we explored the rooftop. 425 is a really great location for city living and comes with the price tag to prove it. (We later took a tour of the property and while it was "cute" that small arse kitchen and second bedroom were beyond impractical).

The view of the city was amazing...to the left was the Capitol and to the right was the Washington Monument ~~or the Klan monument with the red eyes as Dr. Davy calls it~~ .

The rooftop is complete with grills, reading nooks, lounge furniture, a single lane lap pool, and a full rooftop party pool. Seriously, it's really nice. But enough about that. Can we talk about how the band played Ledesi and Eryakh Badu all night, or how the MM thought the brotha on the keys was really handsome until she noticed that his face was a bit too long. Or how "Shawn" offered to let her come up and sing a tune with the band?

Can we talk about the girl with her toes pushed way to the front of her flower sandals ~~which is apparently only acceptable if you are wearing stripper shoes~~ ? Or the guy who took several hors d'oeuvres from the plate at a time, including making a ranch and empanada sammich- devoured that ish and belched EXTRA loud?

I think my favorite thing of the whole night (aside from the Red Velvet Cupcakes (clearly made for the event as they were nto properly iced with cream cheese) was the photo booth. Guests were invited to take silly pics which were then projected on the wall of the rooftop for everyone to see.

So many fun! What are you doing? Go out and live!

Sidenote: I am seriously considering trying out for the Baltimore Charm this weekend. I'm not really afraid of the uniform...I'm more afraid that my football skills aren't up to par- these chicks really play!

What's Mine is Mine. What's Yours is Mine.

2010-10-06T10:42:00.003-04:00

There’s Yours. There’s Mine. And there’s OURS. (or at least that’s the way most of it goes in our generation)

Gone are the days when you get married and everything is joined together ~~with the exception of that secret stash that your momma told you to keep to the side just in case~~ . I could be wrong, but I think that more and more-couples are doing the “you, me, and we” thing when it comes to finances. I can’t really say that I blame them either.

Driving to work the other day and pondering the disgusting amount of student loan debt before me…I got to thinking. Is it really fair to expect someone else to be responsible for this ish? Do I want to be responsible for the debts of someone else that were incurred before we were even in each other’s lives? For me it is less about suddenly being responsible for someone’s previous life and more about the amount. The average medical student graduates finishes with over $100,000 in debt. Is it really fair to expect someone to be partially responsible for that ~~one obvious answer is yes, since that person is probably reaping the benefits of the lifestyle that comes with being a doctor~~ ? I’m puzzled by this one, really. I guess it’s one thing to come in with a little credit card debt here and there…or a car note…and then there’s the house that you’ll eventually get together, but I’m just not sure I’m for merging all that student loan debt together. Now, if the other person has no problem with it-I’m all for it. But that automatic, “you put a ring on it now alllll ~~insert body roll~~ of this is yours (including these commitments to Sallie, the US, AES , CITI, Wachovia, BofA, Wells Fargo, and the list goes on)…I’m just not so sure about.

Ok , tell me how you feel about it. Are you expecting your mate to be responsible for your student loan debt once y’all jump that broom or do you plan to flex on the devil when that subject comes up? Talk to me!

The Man in the Mirror

2010-10-04T11:30:00.003-04:00

I swear, I don't know how I lived without weekends for so long. Like....really?

In true fashion, this weekend was as eventful as others but I won't bore you will all of the details or additions to the "funniest bedtime story ever." I will tell you about drinks on Friday with Mr. Smile.

I wanted to do something after work, but after a long day- I really wasn't feeling the time that it was taking for people to respond to getting drinks. I got a text from Mr. Smile suggesting that we get up for a drink. Easy enough. I'm down. After battling about where to go, we decided on the mexican spot near my job. I got us a table while he parked and in the meantime-the waiter brought out the chips and salsa. Mr. Smile arrives, eats a couple chips, checks the bar for seating...and decides he'd rather check out the other spots. Laughing loudly, I'm down. Now ILYT and I have been accused of being flaky when it comes to restaurant decisions- it was refreshing to see that someone else has these same issues. The waiter sucked anyway. So we get up and jay-walk across the street to walk through the mall and get to the other restaurants.

I kid you NOT. THIS MAN CHECKED HIMSELF OUT IN EVERY MIRROR WE PASSED. He said it was because he was getting used to the additional facial hair (and then accused me of not paying him attention because I hadn't noticed that it was like a picometer longer than it was when I'd seen him last.) Finally, I asked him if he planned to look in EVERY mirror we saw. He asked if it bothered me...I just said...I don't know why you need to be in EVERY mirror. Maybe its the letters? Once we finally reached a bar- we sat in front of yet another mirror so in between sentences he could be seen checking himself out in the mirror...

Seriously, who needs that much mirror time? Everything else was cool but that one thing was a bit odd to me #kanyeshrug

Faith Check

2010-09-26T09:54:00.005-04:00

It's Sunday, September 26th and something is slated to happen at a large church in Atlanta. A few hundred miles away, at another church, a similar message may ~~or may not~~ be delivered.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know what I am talking about (larger scale). Today Eddie Long is expected to address the sexual abuse accusations made against him by some young men in his congregation. After a whirlwind of pointed fingers, leaked pictures, and stories of abuse, the leader of over 25,000 people is expected to address the issue and possibly step down.

In my hometown, another pastor has been proven unfaithful ~~for the second time~~ and may possibly face a situation where he may step down from his position.

The commonalities? Two men who are not only followers of God, but are leaders of a flock who have given into the temptations of their flesh. As a result, many people under their teaching are confused, lost, and now question God. (Sidenote: I hate short-sighted and selfish people and this is prime example of exactly why. Remember the things that you choose to do have ramifications beyond just YOU, not to mention all of the people that you cause to stumble because of your selfish actions).

Question: Why is your faith in God shaken because of the poor decisions that a person made? I ask, are these men (and women) not human just like you and me? Do you really think that they don't face any temptation? Don't you think the enemy sees that if he can cause them (the head) to fall....that he has a better chance of getting all of those behind to follow?

Here's the problem. Many people don't have a relationship with God. Yes, folks say grace and hit up Easter and Mother's day service ~~which I've never really understood~~ , and some people even go to church anytime the doors are open but their relationship is more horizontal than it is vertical. What I'm saying is that some people are so wrapped up in their religion and their church and their pastor that they aren't even really developing a relationship with their creator. As a result, their faith is in their leader and their loyalty is to a church-a person and a building is what they come to trust. That's really dangerous. You are counting on the leader to be your connection to God instead of connecting with Him yourself and that's not going to work because if that person fails you- you become lost and the faith you thought you had in God is failed.

You have to have a relationship with God for yourself. You have to know God on days that the church is closed. You should be comfortable conversing with Him when the doors of the church are closed. With that-you can discern doctrine as truth and you listen to teachings without putting your all into the teacher. And when trouble comes-no matter how big it is-you can look to God for clarity and recognize that people are human and that we will have challenges. You can pray for those that are in positions of leadership but don't always lead. And just because you dont' have a following doesn't mean that your dirt isn't just as filthy. Judge not.

Trading Places (#nousher)

2010-09-24T10:22:00.003-04:00

I was talking with ILYT earlier today and we were having one of our usual BFF talks about everything from sequins in the fall to prayer requests. (Sidenote: it's awesome to have a friendship that is multi-dimensional....if you don't have these either you are one dimensional or you need more people). Anyway we started talking about being there for our moms and that basically inspired this post.

It's funny how life works. Many of us (those that read this blog-not the us that goes out and kills puppies) had a fair ~~enough~~ upbringing. We had loving parents that we eventually decided were insane then we grew up a little more and realized they were just shaping and preparing us...that's called parenting. ILYT and I were both raised mostly in single-parent homes. Our mothers really poured a lot into us and taught us right from wrong. I think both of them also did a lot of guidance while allowing us to live and experience on our own. Neither of us were sheltered by any means, but we also knew boundaries and which lines we absolutely were not to cross. Aside from that we were loved and nurtured beyond belief. I think I can safely say for the both of us that there isn't really anything that we couldn't take to our mothers. We can turn to them when we can't turn anywhere else.

Sometimes in life the tables turn a little though. There may come a point when your mom needs you. What do you do? Well if you weren't raised by an awesome mom-you might run. If you were, however, then you realize that you are prepared for this. Those same things that were poured into you now need to come out of you so that you can be there for the person that has always been there for you (see what God did there?). As I was talking to ILYT, I just realized how cool it is that we even get the opportunity to be there for this person who's done so much for us! Aside from the instant benefit it gives in helping them through something- how much more of a reward is it that we can step up because of what they've shown us?

2010-09-22T10:03:00.007-04:00

Sorry there wasn't a count down for the beginning of Fall 2010 on our blog. But after tonight, I am thrilled to officially throw on my layers of colored clothing with a hint of fall nail enamel! But I will wait till this 90 degree weather vanish.

PS: I am trying cat eyes this fall, wish me luck!

Merryland weekend recap

2010-09-21T20:37:00.010-04:00

With all of the CBC happenings going on, I wanted to take some time to enjoy my new-found free Saturdays.

I've been obsessing over peacocks and the sidekick (Jaz) was totally down for going peacocking with me. So I had two options: a peafowl farm-out in the woods of southern Maryland or this other "farm" not too far from my house which wasn't exclusively peacock filled, but would also have other animals. I read the reviews of this farm and it talked about the lunch time feeding of the animals and other volunteer opps. Turns out that Jaz loves animals (like actual animals other than dogs and peacocks) so she voted for the actual "farm".

So Saturday comes around and we are all ready for the farm. We get to the park and can't find parking near the farm because everyone is having play dates at the playground. So we park on the other side of the park (the farm is a part of a county park) and trek past the little league football games to the "farm". We pass all of the mommy and me and daddy and me duos on the sidewalk and alas...we are here. We look at each other as we try to figure out where to start and head to the "cat scratch" or whatever the name of the gift shop was. We get there and it's empty, but I do notice the very pretty peacock feathers in the corner. After belting "hello" a homely looking woman-aptly dressed in overalls and farm boots with a long pony tail arrives. We ask her about feeding time for the animals because we had planned to participate. After shooting us a quick o_O the lady informed us that they hadn't done that in about 10 years! Annnnd cue the crickets and the cameras pan to our faces which are wearing quite the confused look. She informed us that the animals are on strict diets and feeding schedules and that allowing guests to feed them would just not work. So then we ask her where we start...she says to just go around the circle and see the animals. We take off, a wee bit disappointed, but first stop: the rabbits. Ok so the one rabbit not in a cage was really fat. Jaz was obsessed with his hop, but he looked overweight and uncomfortable to me. Across the way there's a mom and two boys looking at the caged rabbits and all we hear is yelling "stop this, stop that". Now I'm not sure exactly what was goin on over there, but these kids were about to get it. They did have a cute moment though when one told the other that the tail was made of cotton. We moved on from the rabbits to the chickens. Now this is the point at which you can buy little seeds to "throw" into the cages for the birds to eat. I hear the mother yelling about "not spending another 25 cent on the food if the machine don't work" followed by the sound of hitting the dispensing machine. Why can't our people do better? Anyway, some of the chickens were balding and that strange so we didn't spend too much time there. FINALLY WE REACH THE PEACOCKS (in their cage) . They were very pretty and we basically just gawked at them for a while. We moved on to the turkeys (one of which had growths on its foot leading me to believe that this "farm" was more of a rescue shelter), then to the ducks and roosters (which cock-a-doodle-dooed for a while) through the lazy llama and sheep finally to the big arsed cow and the ponies. FYI: Ponies are not baby horses. ~~since I am sure that I am not the only one that went through childhood thinking that~~ . I wanted a peacock feather but had left my cash in the car so we trekked back to the car for dollars...and back to the farm and then basically stood in the sun while some kid's entire birthday entourage took turns riding the ponies. I'm happy they had fun but I couldn't understand why someone couldn't break away and let me into the gift shop. hmph.

Got my feather. All was well. Next stop: Carolina Kitchen for some lunch and football. We went to the one in Largo. One word: Fail. That is more like a "to go" buffet than a restaurant and I wasn't feeling that so we drove across town to the one that I knew had a bar and actual restaurant with servers. We made it just in time for the Duke game and left mid-first quarter (those of you that watched know exactly why).

I met Miss Mistress at the Beacon for some rooftop mingling. We met Mr. Smile there but in true DC fashion- the rooftop was full of familiar faces (including two of my linesisters-digression: IM is everywhere and we might make up 90% of the gucci fan club). All was well until I stood at the very crowded bar for about 10 minutes waiting on my margarita and this guy moves in front of me. I didn't really care-I'm patient but then Miss Mistress and her friend point out the fact that this brotha is wearing (un-evenly) cuffed jeans and dress shoes. Basically is ensemble was tres confused. I looked at ole boy's face and he was actually someone that I'd met on spring break years ago...a que from south carolina. #Fail. We enjoyed the conversation, drinks, waka & and gucci, and got out of there and headed to dinner with 06.

We at at Bus Boys and Poets and since I'm not a fan of the place, I decided to at least make the meal interesting. There was a group of questionably fancy young men sitting next to us and when they got up to leave, one took a liking to 06. So I invited him to sit. He introduced himself. Then he started going on and on about people that we both or all knew, what he did for a living...the usual DC pitch. He sat through our dinner and clearly annoyed MM and 06 but I found it all a bit funny. Here's this guy who's trying his hardest to appear "less fancy" but failing at it and he's so wrapped up into who he knows that he can't even see that no one at the table is interested....

We ended the night at Teatro's which was an interesting experience. Mr. Smile and his frat brother (who was a little extra for the night but was at least enjoying himself) also came through. The atmosphere was cool until the 15 minute music pause. I don't know what happened, but it suddenly went from Saturday night kickin' it to Wednesday evening networking. My most poignant observation of the night: a couple duke alumna who have seemingly lost weight over the last couple years but have that whole "big head" thing going on now. Yes ladies, there is a such thing as being too skinty. Some sizes work well on people and on others it just looks....strange. Someone let their neos loose for the night, and these young nupes started strolling in the middle of the floor. Not like a line of them. Just two eager beavers...and with that it was time to roll...

CBC Happenings

2010-09-17T09:40:00.004-04:00

CBC week is apparently a big deal for the black and bougie in America. While the Congressional Black Caucus hosts its Annual Legislative Conference every year, auxiliary groups from everywhere use this time to host a number of receptions and events in Washington for the black and bougie-young and old.

I didn’t attend CBC week events last year due to homecoming, but I decided to see what all the hype was about this year.

I started on Wednesday at the Capital Cause event at the Midtown Lofts. Capital Cause is a great organization that engages young professional in the city through service and investment. The event honored four people. As always, it was well planned and attended. My 27 is a part of this organization so I try to make it out to support when I can. I got there, said my hellos with familiar faces, endured a few awkward moments..and then I spotted a girl across the room drinking a corona. JAZ! Anyway…we spent the rest of the night engaging in conversation, laughing, and having sushi…but before we left we met…Jamal- this “athletic” looking fellow. I’m not sure what was going on with my ears, but I thought he said his name was Tupac. So his idea of networking was putting us on an email list for parties that he hosts in Maryland. .:side-eye:. At one point he asked me if I watched HBO’s Hung…but there was no follow up to that…so I was pretty much just confused. We left and had sushi with friends.

Last night I attended two receptions with Miss Mistress-IMPACT DC’s reception at the Ritz-Carlton and the NPHC reception in Union Station. Sooo many funny. My observations:

DC is the size of a chevy chevette. In other words, its super small. So all of the people that I saw Wednesday…were at the IMPACT reception.

The event set-up was nice. There were photo ops, an open bar, and food. For the most part, the suit, shirt, and tie combinations were on point and most of the ladies brought their young professional game. BUT-to the brotha in the velvet suit-it’s not time yet. And to you miss, with the freak’um dress on. Why is your red bra showing? This is an after work event. Geesh!

I understand that everyone wasn’t fortunate enough to get braces earlier in life. I also appreciate the effort to get your mouth-game right ~~that’s what she said~~ , BUT at this age it is more appropriate to either (a) opt for clear braces or (b) see if they can arrange an invisalign situation. The metal mouths were in full effect last night. I don’t think I have ever seen so many adult men with braces in one room.

Question. Is there a secret cult of short men? I people watch. It’s just what I do. What I noticed last night was that all of the guys under 5’5 were happy to see one another and wasted no time making sure they greeted their comrades. It’s kind of sweet I guess.

Seriously though, the IMPACT event was really nice. I appreciate the open bar ~~since I believe that cash bars are of the devil~~ .

We headed over to the NPHC reception next and that was a totally different experience. In general the crowd was a little older. It was attended by NPHC national officers, organization heads, and a sea of greek letter organization members.

There was so much to see. From the old sigma with the cornrows and nappy neck hair, to the Iotas wearing brown suits (FYI black men-brown, the actual color brown, does not look good on you. Opt for a tan or beige, but chocolate on chocolate just makes you look like poo), to the girl who was well put together until she effed it up with those work wedges.

After getting some of the food ~~because Miss Mistress was making demands on getting to the food table first~~ , we decided to situate ourselves in one space. We ended up in a sea of PBS. They all looked to be having a good time. One of their brothers even showed up with a sheet cake to celebrate-something. I’m not really sure why they decided having a birthday party in a corner for someone was a fantastical idea-but I guess.

My favorite sigma of the night ~~aside from the old man with the braids, sigma blue dress shirt, and turquoise pocket square~~ was Congressman John Lewis. This brotha was SO over the event and the iPhone pics. I swear if he could just be real for a moment, he would have said…if y’all don’t stop handing off your cell phone for someone to photo me and you! My favorite was the guy who showed up to the reception in jean shorts, a white polo, and a hat and was determined to get his photo with the Congressman.

I met an Iota last night. Actually I apparently met him at IMPACT…but I’d forgotten. Anyway he was absolutely hilarious. He’s only the third Iota that I’ve met in life but it was indeed a pleasure.

Later in the night Mistress points out the woman who saw fit to have herself immortalized in the form of a wax statue. Oh Soror Barbara McKenzie was lighting up the room in her flashdance gear.

Which brings me to the shirt/tie combinations for this event. I’ll give it a big-NOPE. I’m fine with all of those that decided to wear their fraternal colors or official tie. Do you. But to those of you who have no women in your life…come without the tie next time. Yes you can mix a pattern and a plaid, but there is an art to it.

Update: How can I forget Mr. Aggressive from last night? I was talking to some people that I know and there was a familiar face with them. I asked the guy I knew...If I knew the other guy (while simultaneously asking the guy if I knew him from somewhere) and ole boy is like..."YEAH. We met before. You came at me wrong." He then preceded to tell me how we met when he was talking to my linesister and I asked her "who is his man". I remember saying it. No it wasn't rude. It was more like who's this guy, I haven't met him. Well Mr. Aggressive informed me last night, that when I said that (over a year ago) it reminded him of his ex and how her friends used to say "who the eff is this n*". I proceeded to ask him if he had been in an abusive relationship because words shouldn't hurt that much. He kept talking and I stopped listening. Then his friend informed me that he was crazy. Guess that solves that.

This event had a cash bar-even for water. So it lost lots of points for that alone. The music was good, however, and the folks looked to be having a good time. I think my favorite moment of the night was the DC city cop who probably wondered why we were screaming on our walk back to the car-there was a DC rat commandeering the sidewalk.

I’m not sure what’s on the agenda for the rest of the weekend. Well other than visiting the farm tomorrow but I’m sure there are more fun(ny) times ahead.

Brighten my day!

2010-09-16T11:33:00.005-04:00

These little beauties arrived at my office today courtesy of my mom and brother. It was actually a little bright spot in my day of neverending reading (I think my eyes are getting crossed at the repetition of the words). It's so good to be loved.

BUT...not before being called by the delivery man (who sounded 65). As I'm saying hello...all I can hear is DEUCES....He's bumping his music and finally says...uhh I got a delivery of flowers for you. Where is your office? Y'all got security? I was a little confused, but I directed him to the office and told him where to leave the delivery. I then look in my email to see that I have a voicemail, so I check it and it says "This is Buckingham florist, I had a flower delivery for you, but I can't reach you. Call me back." No call back number, nothing. iCan't with these folks.

UPDATE: as I am typing this my mom has just called to inform me that this ain't even what she ordered! Hilarious.

Updated again: She called to tell the florist that what they delivered is not what she ordered. The man said "it is the same, you can't tell from looking at a picture." What kind of bass akwards logic is that? Then she said that even the ribbon was different and that she'd ordered "polkadots and posies" but gotten something totally different. His reply "I'll credit your account and you can call someone else."

NO customer service at all-which would explain his driver's lack of etiquette. #freeflowersforthewin

Latest Update: This story keeps getting better and better. I just got a call from my receptionist saying that there was a man downstairs to pick up my flowers. WTF? These folks done sent the drive back to snatch up these flowers that were all wrong (their fault). No replacement. Just labor wasted. The delivery guy asks me if it was supposed to have polka dots or something
? I say yes. He says this isn't the first time that someone has complained about the arrangement not being as it was described or lacking the right accessories.

So in short. We will absolutely, positively, never shop with Buckingham Florist ever.again.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

2010-09-15T12:28:00.005-04:00

I want to Congratulate my church, St. Mark Baptist Church in Little Rock, AR, on allowing God to use each and every choir member in the How Sweet the Sound Competition. WOW, God hand is on ST. Mark, look at favor! I pray that God opens and touch every St.Mark member & visitor hearts' to give to the Capital Campaign.Aman.

2010-09-12T20:13:00.004-04:00

Trying to get out of Wal*Mart, I get stopped by a slim lady, Honey Blonde hair gel back, makeup on, that kept saying in a loud voice. "Im going to put my pride in my pocket, Im going to put my pride in my pocket. Im from Detroit, my Land Rover stopped outside. Do you know anything about the bus system here?" I say, "No." She says while looking down at my half opened purse, "You have $2, my Land Rover stopped, Im not from here?" I look down thinking, I need to grab my purse from the seat of the basket before she takes it. I say while looking down at my purse, "I dont carry cash." I never keep cash on me, since everywhere takes plastic. She says walking off, "OK, I'm going to put my pride in my pocket." When I got to the check out I realized I had two $5 bills, but oh well. I mean this lady may have an addiction problem, especially since she kept repeating loudly the same thing about her pride. But if she didnt its pretty sad that people still buy expensive cars, but can't afford to have the insurance, warranty, or maintenance to upkeep the vehicle. Or maybe its just me, if I was driving a Range Rover, you best believe I will have a cell phone to call someone to wire me $, Im in WALMART! I mean my Camry warranty came with roadside assistance and my insurance has roadside assistance. I am sure Range Rover has, if not a better warranty than Toyota.

fall love: Les Khakis de Chanel

2010-09-11T10:08:00.003-04:00

I'm holding on to summer for dear life. I want a do over. Not that I didn't love it, because personally it was a great summer with incredible accomplishment, but I crave sun, warm weather, patio dining, and margaritas.

But since I don't control the seasons, I've decided to embrace the fall with the new fall nail colors. I was in Ulta the other day and fell in love (just a little) with the Essie "Sew Psyched", a very cute camo green. BUT I saw these cutie colors online yesterday over at ALU (go to blog for nail trends).

This is the Les Khakis de Chanel limited edition line perfect for fall. I'm in looooove!

I wonder if OPI plans to follow suit or if they are gonna roll with the Swiss Collection (which I'm not loving) for a while.

On Mosques and Qurans

2010-09-10T09:07:00.002-04:00

There’s been a lot in the news about the islamic faith and those that follow it’s doctrine. ILYT has said her piece about Pastor Jones and though the points have been made over and over again, I figured that I’d say mine ~~since all of this is about freedom of speech anyway~~ .

Mosques….

Yes, choosing to put a mosque near the 9/11 site was not the most thoughtful choice. We all get that. And yes, our country was wronged several years ago by a group of extreme believers. But NO, we don’t shouldn’t make generalizations about everyone in this group and cast them all to damnation because of the mistakes of a few. If we did that we would be doing the very same thing that folks to do us. Think about how much you’ve had to go out of your way to show that you aren’t Tyquan who’s been locked up befo’ and ain’t afraid to go back….or that you are Shiekiesha who’s only goal is to make babies and get that gubment check. I was talking with my 06 about the whole thing and I think she had a very valid point that I don’t think a lot of people recognize. If we start meddling in one religion (thus overlooking the separation of church and state)…then that allows the government to also begin making decisions about other religions. Now the bible thumpers that are pushing for intervention against the builders of the mosque would be too through if someone told them they couldn’t build their church in a certain spot. I just think this shows the shortsightedness of people. (Note: shortsightedness is another thing that I’m quickly losing tolerance for and what sadly left off of the list…along with selfishness.) Take a look at the bigger picture, everything is fine when action is being taken against someone that “we” seemingly all have an issue with , but when it comes to you-what? Again, I don’t think this is the right location for the mosque, BUT I also don’t believe that the solution is to introduce the government into this battle and let them debo the whole thing.

Qurans…

Pastor Terry Jones is a southern preacher of the Christian faith. And like many southern believers- he’s got an opinion and it’s a strong one. So he proposed that we all burn a quran on anniversary of 9/11. This has become huge and basically catapulted this lesser known pastor to the headline news. We all know that the best way to make ourselves known is to come with shock factor ~~looking at you Amber Rose, Onika Manaj, Kat Stacks (that’s twice in less than 24 hours), and the list could go on for miles~~ . This is exactly what Pastor Jones has done. And aside from all of the obvious wrongs or ills of this…my biggest issue is his shortsightedness (see what I did there?) This man’s proposed event has led to protest in Afghanistan, and while they are currently non-violent….we don’t know what the future holds. What’s my point? We have our soldiers over there, not to mention the thousands of civilians over there making that guap for a short stint in a war zone. His actions are putting our people in danger. His actions are threatening those that made the decision (on some level) to be selfless and put their lives on the line. I have a military family, and while my parents are retired and do not run the risk of deployment, my big brother does. It’s unfair to start a fight with someone then push your boy in front to do the physical fight oh wait, we already did that . Ugh…let’s not perpetuate it.

Moral of the story, everyone is different. Period. But our differences don’t necessarily give us the right to oust a group because of such ~~wait, we already did that too~~ . I guess what it comes down to is that we’ve just got to do better.

Losing Tolerance

2010-09-09T21:22:00.003-04:00

Those of you that know me (well) know that I'm not the most patient person. I've tried to work on it over time, but my patience with adults is very low. I can be patient with a child all day long, but you grown folks...I absolutely can not. While I've been working on my patience, what I have seen dwindle to new lows is my tolerance for other people and their foolishness and antics. I feel a purge coming on. So who (general) am I referring to? Glad you asked.

1) Rude People- My mother constantly reminds me that she didn't raise everyone. This usually comes as I'm complaining about how incredibly rude someone is as I try to wrap my head around what people must be thinking when they come with this craziness. Rudeness might be hereditary and that's unfortunate. As adults, there should be a common level of respect and courtesy. I realize that some ~~wildebeasts~~ folks weren't raised to be courteous, but you 'oes have been to college and graduate school and are self-proclaimed bougie. PUHLEEZ get your ish together and find some manners. Need a lesson? Let me refer you to my manuscript.

2) Busy People- I don't do Ocho..but "Child Please". Jesus himself ain't THAT busy. Even He's got time to listen to a prayer. So those of you that are too busy to return a phone call or e-mail, it's time for a new excuse. We all have our moments when we don't answer our phones or respond to texts or emails in the moment (it's called vacation) but to keep up this shenanigans on an extended basis is unacceptable.

3) Liars- No one likes liars. My problem with folks isn't so much the lies that they tell to others, but the lies they live and tell themselves. Hate to crack your wonderful self image...but you are living a lie. I know you think that you are giving- you aren't, that your honest- you fail, and that you are generally a good person- nope. All jokes aside, I've found that people profess to be things that they are not. Saying it doesn't make it so. Check your actions.

Ok so now that we've established that my tolerance is disappearing faster than Kat Stacks' undies ...govern yourselves accordingly.

2010-09-09T13:56:00.004-04:00

Take the mask off and get real w/ no one but yourself...... I'm going through my mental list of contacts. I was pondering on what they are doing in life. Out of the few thats constantly on my mind, they are doing the same thing they have been doing the past 5 years or longer. These few are under 30 and havent entered into their careers. Their opportunities has no limit. I realized (and I hope they will soon) that their time has expired from their extracurricular activities. That's why things have been going the way they are going for some of these people. Whether its downhill or steady, I can guarantee things are not going uphill. I know sometimes you have to turn the mirror on yourself and I feel these few have only glanced in the mirror and not really focused on self. I then ask myself why am I even socializing with these people, im not tryin to stay stagnant. Then it came to me, maybe its for me to put a news flash: YOUR TIME HAS EXPIRED, Step outside of you comfort zone, Grow Up, move on. Its your time to shine in your own life. Stop trying to shine for other people. I hope they get that this was for them.

2010-09-08T20:56:00.005-04:00

I know I shouldn't add to the flames of the Pastor in FL who wants to burn the Koran on 9/11/2010. However, he did say on a clipped (aired on Good Morning America) this morning, "Jesus wouldn't burn books!" I feel this pastor will not burn anything on Saturday. He is probably doing this for a publicity stunt. I mean, I could call all of local news station right now and I say, "I agree with him and I will be burning as well." NOT going to happen. I mean its media, forsake the focuse is on #1 How President Obama is doing a horrible job #2 Building a mosque on ground zero #3 A Pastor who wants to burn the Koran and #4 How the Republicans think they will take over the White House in the November Election. Come on, all this negativity is for the birds, GIVE ME A BREAK!

2010-09-05T12:25:00.004-04:00

Many of you know that I am not a big tv watcher. However, I have found something that I can relate too, Tia & Tamera Take 2. I enjoyed Sister Sister as a young girl and now the two sisters have realized life is not like a sitcom. I am not sure how long this show has been on, but I am so loving it on the style network. Tia is now married to her long time boyfriend of 11 years. Tamera is single not really looking, but Tia is looking for love for her sister. The two are now 32 years of age and now takin over the world! Tamera isnt picky when dating just have high expectations. When she said this, I was like thats just it! I have mention before in past post I will not lower my standards when dating, its good to be reminded! Oh yeah to tell the difference between the twins, Tamera has the mold under her left eye;)

Up in the Air

2010-09-02T08:16:00.003-04:00

I took a flight yesterday. Well, more like two flights to the west side of things for a little vacation. But this post isn't really about my trip..per se...as much as it is about the actual flight.

I was born on a plane. Well, not really. But I flew a lot as a kid. I lived in a military family so we flew a lot. I even used to fly cross-country alone when I was younger to visit my dad. No biggie. I had my walkman, my radio-recorded mix tape, my Gameboy, and some other random things to occupy my time. I was good.

Somewhere in college my flying experiences changed a bit. Take offs and landings were a bit harsh and turbulence really shook me up. I'm not sure where this came from exactly, but it happened. It didn't stop me from flying-but my stomach would be in knots the night before. Crazy indeed. But the thought of extended flights (like 28 hours) became a little frustrating.

Something changed yesterday though. At about 38,000 feet in the as we experienced some "rough air" and my stomach wasn't jumping...I realized that I was fine. I'd be fine. I can't really explain it but in that moment I felt free. Like free to experience things and not be hindered by my issues with flights. In that moment, I was ready to go on an adventure. Not just in the sense of flying but to not be hindered by my own thoughts about rationalities of things.

Eh...Jaz...you still got that flyer from the city paper?

From the Why Me Files: Mercury in Retrograde

2010-08-27T08:41:00.004-04:00

So there's a couple points in the year when mercury goes into retrograde which is blamed for all types of technical mishaps...lost emails...etc, but I tend to blame a bunch of craziness happening too close together on the little phenom too. I promise some of the craziest things happen to or around me. Here's a little recap of this weeks shenanigans....and the weekend just got started.

Sidenote: my Taquita moves here next week....trouble...trouble...

Tuesday night madness:

I'm getting into the groove of bi-weekly tennis sessions with Mrs. Antoine Dodson and we always have a good time. This chick used to play competitively so I really thing she's going easy on me but I'm gaining better control over my swing...hopefully I will stop hitting over the wall. Digression. That's not the point of the story.

We get ready to take the court and this brotha walks by on his cell phone. Socks and flip flops. He takes a seat on the bench and converses with whoever is on the other end. I assume he's also taking in the sights of our match and the pick-up game going on. The evening progresses and all is well. I guess he needed to be at the park to get his little "sexy whisper" on or whatever, but suddenly we look up and we see this

I realize that you may not be able to make this picture out completely but this FOOL is on the swing set. No, not on the regular swing which would have been suss enough...the toddler swing that goes over the head and fastens between the legs. ~~knee grow~~ Boy please! Are you serious. He was really goin' at it...like for real swinging.. mom says I should have called park police and reported a pedophile.

After that, I decided to hit the gym to get some spin in. I forgot how much I hated the Bally's on that side of town. After fighting with foreigners that can't drive in the parking lot. I go in to find that the spin room is occupied by grown men taekwondo-ers (there's something strange about that to me). Anyway I got on the regular bike downstairs and in walks something strange. Now, I've been watching a lot of Lie to Me, Rizzoli & Isles, Covert Affirs, and Burn Notice...so I think I'm somethin' official. And by nature I'm a people watcher. So...this comes in...

The brotha comes in with black sweatpants, black tee, black hoodie, and a damn northface jacket on. ITS SUMMERTIME. Where the hell is you goin? (yeah you read that right) So he comes and stands in the middle of the gym floor and looks at someone on the elliptical and looks at me ~~since I'm sure he felt my death stare/side-eye combo~~ which he repeats several times before proceeding to tuck his northface into his pants. At that moment, I'm not very comfortable. I decide I'll just wait to hear how this plays out on the news the next morning. But just before I go...he puts his hands in his pockets of his jacket which is now tucked in and continues to just stand there. I jump ship. I'm outtie.

Thankfully my Wednesday went more smoothly with the exception of the lack of straight men in Chinatown for the screening of Takers. My review: Takers is definitely worth seeing if only: to see Chis Brown prove he isn't an actor, to see TI look like a Ken doll in a cop uniform, to hear Idris Elba speak in his natural accent (though a bit exaggerated), to see set it off- but with an all male cast, and to see the best crackhead acting since Sam Jackson and Halle Berry in Jungle Fever. I'm voting for a sequel right now with the crackhead as one of the takers!

After the movie I get a text from my friend who has made it her goal to set me up with a DC cop. They tend to have neck tats and carry guns for a living. So I wake up to a text asking if I would go out with one. I say yes and then start probing for info about this person. She tells me his fraternity affiliation and his name (with instructions not to judge him based on his name alone since she KNEW that was going to be my next move). Anyway, I google the brotha and a story in the fraternity newsletter comes up...Wait he's life member? He's been workin' where since '87? The hell did she set me up with? Father time? I got back to my google search and find that there is a Jr....crisis averted. So I take a peek and then I start to feel a little bougie...the guys seems a little "local" for me. Granted he's from the area so I guess...but the pic of him with the chick's arse tooted up in the air forced me to issue a side-eye. But it never hurts to meet new people. And besides...a cop is good for the repertoire...much like a 2520 and a lawyer. Makes life easier. I guess I should text him....

Last night though, I'm in Harris Teeter post-gym to get some bacon. Judge away, but I work out because I don't deny myself of ~~pork covered cheese fries~~ life's pleasures. So I guess 11pm is stock time and the floor is full of folks unloading food and stocking shelves. I get to the cheese and bread isle and stop first to pick up my colby jack. I proceed down the aisle to get bread...but I felt eyes and heard whispers from two guys who weren't actually close enough to whisper. Admittedly it felt a little awkward. That plus the fact that I wasn't impressed with their bread selection and the fact that I somehow forgot to get the bacon which was back up towards the cheese meant that I couldn't make an easy escape from the awkward whispers, rather I had to walk back up the aisle. So as I'm walking I hear...."excuse me miss, can I ask you a question?" Ugh...of course I turn around and smile and say yes. So the gentleman asks me how old I was and I answered his question. Then he asked me my name, which I provided. He then tells me that his friend....stocking the bread...was Donovan and that Donovan had let me walk by two times without saying anything but he was interested in talking to me. Meanwhile Donovan is back there smiling like he eats glue. I say awwww and make a mad dash to the bacon. The other guy says oh do you have a boyfriend..and I say yeah. I hate lying..and I despise liars...but what is the other way to get out of this? Suggestions anyone.

It's friday. I ain't got no job (sorta). And I ain't got ish to do...except attend my farewell lunch. I'm ready to find some trouble to get into.

in Your humble opinion

2010-08-24T10:28:00.003-04:00

A few conversations with friends, a couple blog posts, and few angry Facebook statuses have led me to one.simple.question.

Who has a harder time getting over a break-up?

Yea, I know that Jasmine Sullivan talks about busting windows out you car, but I men seem to go ~~OJ (wait he was acquitted)~~ Scott Peterson and go crazy. Ok so maybe those are the extremes, but you get the idea.

So tell me, who do you think has the harder time dealing with a break-up? Men or Women? Why?

My thoughts:

I'd say men. Women take a lot to get to a point of being done with something and once they reach that point, they tend to have it all reconciled within them. No it doesn't mean that they won't have an adjustment period, and by no means does the go for ALL women, but I think women have the ability to get over it. I'm not sure why men feel like they can't live after a break-up. Enlighten me please.

I think I've figured it out

2010-08-23T13:45:00.004-04:00

You know how you are attracted to or interested in something but you don't really know why? Well, that's how I ~~feel~~ felt about my peacock obsession (though this chick was clearly more obsessed than me). Yes, I love the jewelry and the birds are gorgeous, but I couldn't put my finger on what has intrigued me about this little bird, has me wanting to create a little patio zoo to keep one as a pet, and (for a fleeting moment) had me considering this

then I snapped back to reality.

So I decided to find out what exactly peacocks symbolize. And the answers pointed perfectly to why I think they ~~are the bee's knees~~ are so interesting.

Peacocks symbolize different things in various cultures. In Christianity they represent immortality and incorruptibility of the soul. Hindu cultures use peacocks to represent kindness and patience. Buddhists believe the peacocks represent openness and also the ability to thrive in the face of suffering.

The buddhism association was the one that made the most sense to me and my attraction. They associate peacocks with openness because so much of their body becomes exposed when they spread their wings. I think we've all seen how open I am either though a real (non-internet based) conversation with me...or simply by reading the blog. But I'm not really afraid to bare all. Now sometimes I am selective who gets what information, but that's like having all of your money in one bank...just not a good idea. Secondly, they believe that peacocks represent the ability to thrive in adverse conditions which they credit to the peacock's ability to eat a poisonous plant (Himalayan Wolfsbane) and turn it into a nutrient within their bodies. We've all been through storms and I'm no different. But I think I have a tendency to handle things in a different manner. Not one to be broken...perhaps a little rattled, but always focused and able to carry on until the storm passes.

I know this is a bit random...but I found it all very interesting....you are now free to carry on with your day!

Where's your faith?

2010-08-16T10:27:00.003-04:00

That was the message yesterday. Simple and to the point. And I thought that it was ironic because I find myself asking this question of others (in my head) when they go on their tangents about things not working out or working slowly. Patience is a virtue and God surely ain't done with me yet, so when I hear the same stories and complaints over and over again...I tend to want to shake the person and just ask them..."where is your faith?" These are people who say that they are christians and believe in God. That. right. there. Is probably the biggest sign of faith that one can display (in my opinion). Our natural bodies and minds find it difficult to believe in something that we have not seen with our own eyes, so if you are saying that you believe in God then you are indeed exercising your faith. So my challenge to so many of you that can't seem to get ahead in some area of your life, but profess to believe in God...is to check your faith. Are you really believing that God can move in your life or are you just saying that because everyone else around you says it. I will say this...it's really hard to grow your faith if you aren't actively pursuing an intimate relationship with God. You don't have to believe me...but what's the consequence if I am wrong? Or better yet...how great is the pay off if I am right?

As much as this message was for someone else...it's also for me. Just when everything seems right in the world, the enemy will try to launch an attack to try to draw you out of your joy and peace. Remember that recognizing the enemy is like 90% of the battle so with that...I choose to give no play to what is going on right now. I have prayed for God to move in the life of another and just as He's heard my prayers yesterday and today (and will hear them tomorrow) I can trust that He will act according to His will. That's where my faith's at.

2010-08-14T23:26:00.004-04:00

I went to the dentist the other day, nice office, I figured good place. I noticed on the form I was feeling out said, 'Would you like to keep all your teeth?'(RED FLAG) I underlined the answers yes no, not sure how to respond. I get called to the back by a young dusty looking thing, hair pulled back like she had a rough month. Asks me to sit in the chair, she puts her gloves on, then puts the film in the X-Ray machine. She then decides she wants to touch my mouth(RED FLAG)Oh i cant forget about the other unprofessional standing at the door looking at me talking about facebook (RED FLAG). So after my X-Rays, I was told the doctor will see me shortly. The facebook chick sits in the chair, the doctor (who never looked at my X Rays) (RED FLAG) sits in the other chair. He looks at my teeth and says, "Keep doing what your doing." (RED FLAG) As he is leaving I say, "Do I not have any cavities? Do they disappear? Just 8 months ago I had six." He says he doesnt see any and he can promise me that (RED FLAG). I was like what have I gotten into. This old black man is about to take my insurance money and call it a day. The facebook girl (who I really dont think is trained) polishes my teeth. I just have to know why was she leaning on my chest and stomach polishing my teeth? (DOUBLE RED FLAG)I laughed thinking I will not come back, I will not come back. As I was leaving the lady at the front desk ask me to make my follow up appointment, I said no Ill call.

The problem now: My back gums/teeth have been hurting for two days. My wisdom teeth have been pulled out. Whats really going on?