Conversation with my linesister:
06:When did guys stop learning or forget how to date?
Me: When we started accepting that.
Now before I even really get into this...I know that the above exchange doesn't apply to every guy and maybe not even most guys, but it came up in conversation today so I figured why not blog about it.
With all of the photos of celebrity date nights, it seems like its the "in-thing" for couples to do. I love that. I think that a date night is an ideal way to make sure your mate gets some undivided attention time.
So stepping aside from full-on couple status...what about people that are "dating", "talking", "hanging out", or whatever you want to call it? It seems that the actual dating in these types of relationships (or lack there of) isn't so popular..or just isn't happening. Of course there's the first date...a little wine and dine to impress...but what about after that? Is that one date it for going out part of this thing? I recognize that I am partially biased to going out on actual dates because the guys I've dated in the past were "date guys". Dinner, movies, aquariums, exhibits...all of that. But it seems as we (my friends and I) get out more and meet different people...the dating of it all is kind of a rare treat. Don't get me wrong...we are all appreciative of the "first date dinners" but we are just a bit curious about what comes next. Or is that it...the one date and then let's just hang out? I know that finances are sometimes to blame, but lets be honest...there are tons of free or low cost ways to spend time with someone that don't include the TV and a couch. Trust me the more creative you are at coming with something else to do...the more we will notice and the bigger the smile you will see on our faces.
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I'd say that a reason guys aren't dating much after the first date is simple: they're trying to smash. They want the woman to come over and "kick it" so they can get cozy and try to make a move. But also the more dates you go on the more official the relationship becomes. Personally there are a lot of women that I like to go out with but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with. And the more dates you go on the more you lead them on. And even if you say you don't want anything serious if you keep taking them out it's gonna send a different message. Then of course there's the financial aspect of it. Some women are cool with paying on occasion but it's mad awkward to be like hey i'm low on funds can we split the bill? So me being the gentleman that I am, I suggest we cook dinner together and rent a movie. We get to spend time together, it's inexpensive, and i get to show off my cooking skills. Everybody wins and if i'm lucky some dessert!
ReplyDeleteAgain, it is very interesting how men expect a woman to "smash" after a couple of months or dates. Clearly, we are all on different pages and that's where the trouble begins. In a perfect world, men would not approach women with standards just to smash (unless that was on her agenda lol). Let's be serious...you guys know the types of women that are easy and those that are relationship material. With me, when a guy only wants to smash, I'm looking like..."well, there's not much left to this so let's go our separate ways". You want to smash, I need to be stimulated intellectually. So what's comes next? Buh bye!!
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