From the Why Me Files: Tax Day

Shame on me for waiting this late to file (the absolute last moment for my state taxes) but it is what it is. I've never waited this long do do my taxes but I had my reasons this year. So I came home today to submit my state taxes online and POW! Arkansas says" eff yo taxes if you don't submit them with your federal e-file." So confused, I scramble to a bunch of different websites to avoid paying Turbo Tax the cost of filing the state taxes since I am going to have to mail the form anyway. I found myself getting frustrated (which may have had more to do with other things that were getting to me) so I just said eff it. I paid the turbo tax fee and copied the info onto the form to be mailed in. By this time its a little after 6PM but I figured that USPS was staying open late to celebrate Tax Day. WRONG. Apparently the DC metro area has decided that having only 4 branches open late between DC and MD would be acceptable #epicfail. And just as I was about to drive from the post office near my house to DC...I remembered a low-key post office in Maryland with an APC (automated postal center). Bam..imma go there. So I get there and the line is out of the door (which is to be expected) because it's tax day damnit. All is good until one of yall's aunties shows up huffin and puffin about getting off the bus to get in her car to come to this location...and oooh chile it ain't even open...and what is we waitin in dis line fa?

I was greeted first by her loud arse perfume. Not that "oh this was once a nice fragrance but I over did it by putting on the whole bottle" scent, but that "oh i picked this stinky ish up at the same place I bought my wig" type of situation. This woman complained from the moment she got in line. Now I've learned that when I have to state the "obvious" I'm not always nice so when she asked why we were standing in line (after reading the sign on the door stating that this joint was NOT going to be open late) I didn't answer. Nor did I acknowledge her huffing and puffing. But the constant question of "are we waiting in this line for a stamp" line was getting old at the 30 minute mark. That was usually accompanied by "why didn't they pay three people to work over time" and "down in DC it's not like this". Now I'm thinkin' if you got on the bus from the great DC then why not hop ur arse back on it so you can get from behind me? Ok so at about the 45 minute mark...she announces that she has a stamp. Say what? Ok go drop yo ish in the box then! But because people are unaware of how the post office works (shocker, I know) she continues to stay in line. She was far more obnoxious than the 3.5 year old who was entertaining himself by yelling and running around his dad the whole time. She sees an elderly woman and offers to get her a seat inside but the lady declines until like three other people suggest/offer her a chair. Then yo auntie gets an attitude because her offer was rejected. So to comfort her own soul...she starts singing and dancing like she just walked into Sha Nay Nay's bump and curl. iKid you NOT. Finally we get to the door and can see the machine. We've now been in line about an hour or more. And some man informed the line that you must put atleast a dollar on your card at the APC so many people ahead in line were teaming up to get three stamps at a time and divvy them up. "Ohhhh we need to do that back here"-she proclaims to deaf ears. As people are realizing that they have to get the extra stamps, many are just giving them to people in line or selling them. Well yo aunt asks one lady for hers and the woman didn't want to sell hers. To think...she actually WANTED the postage that she paid for...the nerve. Well that gives wig lady something else to have an attitude about but alas someone gives her a postmarked stamp and she happily gets out of line only to stand in front of the mailboxes for 3 minutes trying to decide if its local, out of town, stamped, or metered. AHHHHHHH. Finally she's ready to leave and bids us all adeu b saying "bye yall...good luck still standing in line." If only she know that the line would actually be tolerable without her behind my head.....

Then there's the chick that offers to buy postage for the 20 people ahead of her if she can cut because she "knows how to use the machine"...but in actuality she isn't that great at it but atleast she paid for my stamps...

Things end up on the sunny sid afterall