Beneath the surface

I don’t really get into astrology or know what your sign (or mine, for that matter) means. But, I’m a cancer. We are crabs.

I was talking to someone who pointed to that crab, the physical features of it and how it translates to my life. What she said was that, like crabs, I have a tough exterior. This toughness is sometimes perceived as a wall and for some people it is intimidating. I laughed when she said this, not because I thought she was speaking tomfoolery, but because these were words I’d heard before. Maybe there was some truth to this.

I will surely admit that I don’t really allow myself to be vulnerable or completely open until I really know people. This occurs in all types of relationships. I don’t consciously put up a wall, but over the years I’ve learned different things about people and so I am very careful about who I really allow into the inner circle of “me”.

And since I readily admit that this is a part of who I am, then I accept it. The issue I have, however, is that because people perceive this shell, they make false assumptions that there isn’t a person with feelings inside. Faulty logic if you ask me. Of course, one of my aliases is “icebox” but that is more of a joke. But seriously, some folks think that the shell is indicative of lack of feelings. Yes, I can roll with the punches. Yes I can dismiss people with no problem (a gift and a curse, I’m convinced). But this doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings. No, I don’t wear them on my sleeve. That’s just not my style, but I’m human and I feel just like you sans the sociopaths feel. If you take the time to get to know me, you will see that. But in the meantime, acting without regard simply won't do.