My Soul has Returned, So I Call it a Lesson Learned

People say that God takes you through things to teach you lessons. I strongly believe that, but I also know that we take ourselves through things because of our own free will and our desire to do what we want. In either situation, however, I’ve realized that there are lessons that can be learned. It is up to you to figure out what the lesson was from each experience. Many of us go through repetitious cycles of mess because we never sit down and take a moment think “what was I supposed to get out of that”. Failing to ask that simple question pushes us right back into the same or similar situations which produce the same results of before. Insert definition of insanity RIGHT HERE.

Not too long ago, I found myself disappointed in myself after I made a choice. There were so many things that led to me feeling the way I did- my own psyche, the opinions of those close to me, etc. The list went on. I tend to be the listener among my friends. Aside from this blog, and a few select conversations, my sharing is limited. So I continued to be in my own head about disappointing myself. I really didn’t reach out to my circle because in my head, I didn’t want to deal with their responses. On top of that, I knew that what I’d done wasn’t pleasing to God. This is where the enemy comes in. I was almost convinced that God wouldn’t forgive me. And that led to me not being able to forgive myself. BUT in my prayer time I was reminded that the God I believe in allows for repentance. And that’s what I did. I repented. I had to remind myself that the enemy comes to attack us. But I repented and accepted that I’d been forgiven. Even with that, though, I was not able to forgive myself. I think when you do something to disappoint yourself; it’s easy to really beat yourself up about it. I remember being at dinner with my 06 and just crying and telling her all about it. And she reminded me that God forgives, and that I’d have to do the same. She also reminded me about the strength of my circle and why those people were there in the first place. She reminded me that those people that I hold close to me are those that want what is best for me, are judgment free, and are imperfect themselves. With that, I felt better and worked toward forgiving myself. It wasn’t instant. The thing is that there aren’t too many people that know us as well as we know ourselves. So I know my potential and the person I am. So I felt that I’d really messed up with my choices and that was hurtful. I did eventually forgive myself though. It’s funny, we always hear how we should forgive others but so many people are walking around harboring anger and disgust within themselves for the choices they’ve made. It’s time to do something about that.

Our experiences are the things that shape who we are and who we become. The choices we make shape those experiences. It all works together. So we have to realize that we’ve gone through things for a reason: to learn a lesson. Once that lesson is learned, we have to forgive ourselves, make some adjustments, and MOVE ON. Don’t hinder your growth because you can’t get over something that you’ve done. That’s not living, that’s not being free, and it will surely cause you to miss out on what is to come.