Mr. In Shape, Nice Smile

Has become Mr. KFC, King of the Random Questions, and Mr. Make Me Laugh in the course of a couple days. This guy honestly keeps me giggling, though I'm not sure that is his intention. He is now called Mr. KFC because he shared with me that he eats KFC EVERY NIGHT. So I told him that was no good...that could lead to an early death so today he texts me that he's making lunch for his diet. I asked what diet contains KFC every.damn.night...he said that I am going to be his girlfriend and that he doesn't want to have a stroke and die. Fair enough I guess.

What I have learned about this person via our conversations is that he might have the most random repertoire of questions and the conversation never ceases to make me go hmmm..ever...convo sample:

KFC: I'm selfish. I don't like to share. So when we go out, I don't want you to see other people.

Me: This _____ is crazy. Um this ain't no "I bought you a drink, B* you is my girlfriend" type situation. So that's not going to work. You don't get to shut it down date one.

Me: Why are you single?

KFC: I can't stay interested in one person long enough. So I usually leave and come back after I've had some time.

Me: WHO the hell waits for that?

KFC: Do you want kids? Have you ever been pregnant?

Me: No. Um you said you don't have children right. Thats nice.

KFC: Yeah, I don't want to make babies with a bunch of women. Imma have a baby with the woman I'm going to marry. And I'm not doing that while I'm working at a gym.

Me (thought): The order of events is completely ambiguous there.

KFC: I think that 90 day rule is stupid. Its BS.

Me: Really? Why?

KFC: You expect a man to date someone hoping that in 90 days it pays off?

Me: (thought) you've got wayyyy longer than that dealing with me

KFC: What does your manicure and pedicure look like?

ME: What? Do you have a random list of questions in front of you and you are just picking one WTF?

KFC: No. Well what it look like. You should get french.

Me: Um thats a no go. Its all about color and are you paying?

Me: So you don't want to stay at a gym. What are your goals?

KFC: Coast guard

Me: (thought) Can you swim? What did you do before the gym

KFC: Mixed martial arts

Me: C'mon boogie. Don't nothin bout you say computa or skool .: sideye:.

KFC: Are you religious?

Me: If you are asking if I am a Christian, yes. Are you a Christian?

KFC: I don't know, I'm baptist

Me: totally lost in translation at this point

I think I'm gonna have to ride this one out..at least once to see if the randomness keeps coming.