That 90 Day Rule...

The other day I posted a conversation between me and Mr. Random which briefly mentioned the 90 day rule thing. Ivy League Neck Tats' author J-Full commented about his dislike for the 90 day rule and even wrote about his perspective on the rule. Check it out here.

Reading his comments, blog, and reflecting on various conversations I've had with other people- I thought I'd just clarify my position on the 90 day rule. For the record, I am not a fan of that damn book that people quote like its the bible. I haven't read it, but from what I've heard, it all seemed like a bunch of common sense written and bound. (I digress)

I actually side with the guys on this one and think that the 90 day rule is pretty "stupid" for lack of a better word. I get that it allows time to get to know someone, see if they are interested in you beyond sex, blah blah, but really is 90 days enough? Is it too little? Why is there a defined date? When do you start counting from- the day you got the number or the first date? Its too much to keep up with. It seems like a rather arbitrary number that isn't too short to too long and gives women a reason to hold out for a while...cuz Uncle Steve said so. .:sideeye:.

Personally, I think that there is no definite timeline for sex or intimacy or kissy face. Honestly, you have to evaluate how you feel about the person, the situation, and where it is going/where you want it to go. Promising a man sex in 90 days does what? Either he spends the first 89 putting in work to show you that he's worthy of a 90th day good time, he spends 89 days gettin' it in with someone else, OR he waits and isn't pressed about a 90th day or a 120th day because he's interested in getting to know you and grow a relationship with you. Its less about the sex, more about respecting your (or his) wish to wait and move slower. Warning: that last bit ain't for everybody.

JFULL was right about a lot of things. Making a man wait for 90 days doesn't mean that he will have more respect for you. So you are able to stick to a countdown? Congrats. It actually seems silly to wait 90 days if this is your motivation. If a man was going to respect you in the first place, it likely wasn't based on whether or not your got down before 90 days were up. If we as women would move past that to see that respect comes from your character and how you carry yourself...we all might be in a better place.

Many of you that know me (personally) may find all of this ironic that I'm weighing in on the subject. I'm upfront with guys that I meet. I'm honest about my situation and I give the option to play it out and see where it goes or to take that as their cue to exit stage left. I love that so many women were able to use the advice from the book to make some changes within. But really think about these things before you go assigning random ideas any real value. It is important to have standards and an ideal plan in place? Yes. If you prefer to wait for sex or not have sex at all that is your prerogative (who knew that word had an extra r?). But is waiting on a magical date really what you want? Are you expecting some epiphany on that day that will say yes make the move because its day 90? What if that day comes before #90 or after?

Just something to make you think...