When did yall become so needy?

This is a question that I've posed to myself and many of my friends lately. I suppose, I should also pose it to the fellas too so that I can get your opinion (feel free to comment). I've even been looking at myself to see if there's something I'm sending out (pheromones) that attracts these needy guys.

My girlies always say "you're such a dude sometimes". What they mean is that the things that tend to annoy me about a guy are usually the things about women that annoy men. For example: neediness! A few of the guys that I've met recently have copped a 'tude about the lack of attention that I give. Not enough calls, not enough effort to hang out. Whatever. Here's the thing...I'm busy. I work-A LOT. When I'm not working...I'm out or sleeping. And I don't mind being out with you, but I don't want to spend ALL of my damn time with YOU. That's just not the kind of girl I am. Maybe I never noticed how needy men were before....and perhaps thats because I had more feelings for the person. Or maybe they had some life of their own and didn't sit with their phone in hand waiting on the caller id to show my name or pic. In the early stages of me getting to know you...don't expect a phone call every day. 1) I probably text more than I talk- it frees me up for multi-tasking and 2) I don't expect you to call everyday in the beginning. Maybe i'm just having one of my guy moments, but for goodness sake puhleez stop with the neediness. Honestly, it makes you seem a bit feminine to me. I want to date a man, someone who has enough of their own life that it doesn't hinge on me calling every 5 minutes or running to your house the minute the snow clears (I digress).

Guys...am I asking too much?

Red Flags...

presented to you by Life.

So many conversations I've had recently with my girlies have dealt with red flags, signs, and people showing themselves in general. How we choose to respond once we've been presented with these things has a major influence on where our lives go, which paths we take, and what we encounter along the way.

You know there is old saying that goes "When people show you who they are, believe them." These are wise words passed from generation to generation yet they go ignored so many times. Then we end with heartbreak, hurt, frustration, and the things that comes along with that. We've got to change this ASAPtually. Let's STOP ignoring these signs that we encounter in our relationships with other people. Let's stop assuming that they will change with time or that we can change that person. It's highly unlikely that this will be the case and instead you set yourself up for hurt and frustration. YOU have the power to avoid this all together if you just pay attention to who people are.

Take them at their word. We (speaking in general terms for men and women) tend to hear what people say and then insert the meaning that we want to associate with the words. STOP! Listen to what was said and take heed. You know "word is bond" so we should be careful of the words that fall out of our mouth. Think first, speak later. Just as you are taking people at what they say...you too must be accountable for your lip slips.

Pay attention to actions. Words are one thing, actions are another. Saying one thing but doing another a favored past time for some people. Seriously. Talk is cheap and is often a tactic to appease. If the actions don't match...the words mean nothing. Your words should be a preface for the things you do. They should reflect the person that are are (actively).

Once you've decided that you are going to take notice of these red flags you have to decide what that means for YOU- not what your girls or guys think, but FOR YOU. Are these things that you can live with? Is it something that you can accept? What affect does it have on you? After a little bit of thought you may realize that the thing you perceived as a red flag was really just a preference difference and shouldn't result in a dismissal of the situation OR you may find that it is just the beginning of a long list of things, words, and actions that don't "match your swag". Think hard before you make a decision. Make up your mind.THEN Act. No longer should we sit by idly waiting on the other person to make a change or make a move for us. Let's "take the sugar off the rim" and make a move ourselves!