There’s Yours. There’s Mine. And there’s OURS. (or at least that’s the way most of it goes in our generation)
Gone are the days when you get married and everything is joined together
Driving to work the other day and pondering the disgusting amount of student loan debt before me…I got to thinking. Is it really fair to expect someone else to be responsible for this ish? Do I want to be responsible for the debts of someone else that were incurred before we were even in each other’s lives? For me it is less about suddenly being responsible for someone’s previous life and more about the amount. The average medical student graduates finishes with over $100,000 in debt. Is it really fair to expect someone to be partially responsible for that
Ok , tell me how you feel about it. Are you expecting your mate to be responsible for your student loan debt once y’all jump that broom or do you plan to flex on the devil when that subject comes up? Talk to me!
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Truthfully, I never even thought about that! LOL, I guess I always expected my loans/debts to get paid off before I got married (IF I got married). Seeing as how now my thoughts on marriage has changed, I don't expect anyone to cover the costs of my education but if HE decides he wants to handle it, then handle it boo.
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I don't believe that student loan debt should be shared unless you are bringing in enough money to simply pay it off. If i'm struggling to make ends meet with my bachelors, why am i making payments on your doctorate? it just makes no sense.
ReplyDeleteYour loans are your loans...Unless of course you have both made a commitment to obtaining the goal of being debt free and both parties are carrying their weight, then I say go for it..Share the never-ending debt! It all varies from relationship to relationship. People can be funny with their money. I have friends who are in relationships, their partner makes a SIGNIFICANT amount of money in comparison to my friend, but their mate wont even help them with an overdue light bill...let alone share in some debt...its all very very sticky
ReplyDeleteI'm def of the you, me, and us thing. I don't think that it makes us less of a man and wife I think it just allows us a bit of freedom. Like Bhunter says- money makes folks funny. Let's keep it out of our equation.
ReplyDeleteIt all goes back to what a person believe marriage is all about. Not sure of the percentage, but the majority of marriages end bc of money. I’ve thought about this before, would I accept someone with bad credit. I have concluded, I will accept Mr. Right w/ bad credit, even though I’ve worked hard at keeping mine above the American norm. I’m in a marriage to give 110% not 50%. God knows how much I can handle (mentally, physically, spiritually, etc), therefore if I’m not able to handle someone’s debt, is that person from God or is he the one I chose?
ReplyDeleteIt goes back to the post ‘Will you date someone who flaws you can’t accepts long term?” Will you marry someone who every month has to pay student loans or child support? My point in all this is I have high expectations of my God, he will send the desire of my heart. I’m Mr. Rights right hand he’s my left hand, once we are one I am there to help him and he is there to help me, no limits bc I love him.
Reminder: God doesn’t dismiss us from his will bc of our debt……Or says I’m going to give him/her just half of my grace, mercy’s and blessings.
Interesting responses all around. I think BHunter is so right about it varying from person to person.
ReplyDeleteI have a question for Lil Miss though. You said keep it out of the equation. Do you mean ALL money situations or individual debt?
Thanks for the read guys!
Me personally, that's not the mate responsibility, that came long before they got together, but its his or her choice to help with thats, just because u jump the broom don't mean its ur your mate responsibility, but u do want to to find away to get it PAYED off, and if its my wife I will help, cause in the long run it would be beneficial to both of us to get thst out the way
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