When words to actually trump actions...

We are all familiar with the idea that "actions speak louder than words" and tend to use this whenever it is convenient to prove our point or make a case. The fact is, however, that while actions may speak louder than words-sometimes-there are occasions when you should take what is said to be what the person means...like your parent's say, "do as I say and not as I do."

Living in a major city, I hear the same dating woes from ladies about how tough dating is. They talk about how men aren't ready to commit meanwhile they aren't given any reason to since y'all are more than willing to dress it up, serve it on a platter, and play house without committment , how men are chasing their careers and aren't interested in making time for a relationship, and how they'd rather just enjoy this time in their lives without being attached to any one person. All of this may be (read: probably is) true, but I know for a fact that there are some great guys out there looking for a relationship but instead are probably somewhere lost in the "friend zone".

Thinking that they have the ability to change a man's mind, many women pursue these 'unavailable' men anyway in hopes that it will lead to a relationship. Guys go along with the dating, but they've already told her that they aren't looking for a relationship...but she keeps on pushing along because they spend so much time together, he texts her throughout the day, they talk on the phone once a month, and the like. For her, he's showing all the signs of being in a relationship so surely its inevitable, right? NO. Were you listening to what he said (and notice the fact that story hasn't changed)? Boo, he's single. This is one of those moments where actions aren't speaking louder to nobody but you. He said his piece, and that's what he has in his mind. And until he speaks otherwise, you can safely assume that is what he means despite his actions. Truthfully, its easy to get caught up in seeing the same person repeatedly if you enjoy their company, but it doesn't mean that the part of you that isn't seeking committment has changed. So ladies, please stop getting all in your feelings and start using your ears to hear what is being said (yes, I know this isn't natural). It will work out easier in the end.