DELET

Ahh...."DELET" (like delete but a hard "t" at the end) reminds me of my young and dumb college days...

I've never really been one to go through my phone deleting numbers and such. Either numbers weren't transferred when I got a new phone or they just live on eternally. I literally have a phone full of numbers that I will never use, but eh, never know when you might be stuck somewhere random. You just might need that number....(ok maybe not). It's just never been a conscious thing to do, though I realize that this is quite normal for most people.

About a week ago, this all changed. I was literally tired of seeing people's names who don't serve any real purpose in my life-popping up in my phone randomly due to a pointless text or phone call. Now of course, this has more to do with me basically being "over" said people for one reason or another, but to keep from continued annoyance...I deleted the numbers...the past text messages- EVERYTHING (because we live in an age where if the number isn't stored, it isn't recalled, and therefore does not exist) . I literally felt like I'd dumped off some weight. It may sound silly, but it really felt good to get rid of the extra. Now not to be free of coincidence, literally within a day (and a few hours in one case) the contacts either called or texted. Meh...i'm done. So those calls and texts got the DELET too. But perhaps I should have responded with an open invitation for said persons to lose my number...hmmmm....

So I'm sure reading this you're like, 'man she's a bit angry' but its actually quite the contrary. People that know me know that my tolerance for BS is fairly low...or I will tolerate it until I'm tiiired and then I'm done. And I simply reached that point with a few people. Instead of continuing engage in random convo and failed attempts at 'getting up', I just won't. And since these people are no longer 'contacts' in my book, they now get the treatment that every other unknown number gets. Fair? I think so :)

Giving "good" a chance

There comes at time when you realize that your mom was right, and though you hate to admit it, you must. So, mom, you were right though the edgy guys won't be boring, they will have a dash-too-much of selfishness, and being someone that doesn't deal well with selfish people-that will not work. Even casually dating someone who is a bit too selfish won't work because they will eventually like many other people just annoy the hell out of me. Thankfully, I've managed to keep a good balance of good and evil around, but maybe it's time to get back to the basics and stop attributing to that whole "nice guys finish last" bit. Now....how do I keep from getting bored? That's another question for another day, but I'm sure consciously trying not to will help so we'll start there. This is me, giving good a chance.

And speaking of giving chances....I've been wanting to write a post about how my awful ordeal with Comcast changed for the better. BUT IT HASN'T. As of today we are at 5 appointments/3 NO-SHOWs after the tech calling my roomate at 10:17PM last night to announce his arrival. I think Ocho Cinco says "Chile Please". Who's letting some rando Comcast tech in their house that late at night. Meanwhile back at the ranch, the cable blinks out every few minutes. I literally watched the first 9 minutes of Chelsea Lately and observed 3 blanks in that time period. I wonder if the Comcast CEO knows that they are this terrible at providing technical service. Perhaps they should contract less and direct hire more. Oh and another fun fact-Comcast owns Fandango...so I might have to stop using that service too. Ugh. Dear Comcast, you are the worst and I am confident that the only reason that people continue pay for your service is because there are no other options...monopoly is a bish, aint it?

When words to actually trump actions...

We are all familiar with the idea that "actions speak louder than words" and tend to use this whenever it is convenient to prove our point or make a case. The fact is, however, that while actions may speak louder than words-sometimes-there are occasions when you should take what is said to be what the person means...like your parent's say, "do as I say and not as I do."

Living in a major city, I hear the same dating woes from ladies about how tough dating is. They talk about how men aren't ready to commit meanwhile they aren't given any reason to since y'all are more than willing to dress it up, serve it on a platter, and play house without committment , how men are chasing their careers and aren't interested in making time for a relationship, and how they'd rather just enjoy this time in their lives without being attached to any one person. All of this may be (read: probably is) true, but I know for a fact that there are some great guys out there looking for a relationship but instead are probably somewhere lost in the "friend zone".

Thinking that they have the ability to change a man's mind, many women pursue these 'unavailable' men anyway in hopes that it will lead to a relationship. Guys go along with the dating, but they've already told her that they aren't looking for a relationship...but she keeps on pushing along because they spend so much time together, he texts her throughout the day, they talk on the phone once a month, and the like. For her, he's showing all the signs of being in a relationship so surely its inevitable, right? NO. Were you listening to what he said (and notice the fact that story hasn't changed)? Boo, he's single. This is one of those moments where actions aren't speaking louder to nobody but you. He said his piece, and that's what he has in his mind. And until he speaks otherwise, you can safely assume that is what he means despite his actions. Truthfully, its easy to get caught up in seeing the same person repeatedly if you enjoy their company, but it doesn't mean that the part of you that isn't seeking committment has changed. So ladies, please stop getting all in your feelings and start using your ears to hear what is being said (yes, I know this isn't natural). It will work out easier in the end.

Can't forget about you!

Here we go again with the Brown Girls Blogging Hiatus. There are so many things I've been wanting to post but just haven't done it. Truthfully, I've been focused on expanding everyone's shoe closet over at my other blog "Clothing Optional, Shoes Required", but that is no excuse for not posting over here. ILYT moved clear across the country and has been busy adjusting to life on the left coast- so I suppose she gets a pass too, right?

It's summer and though I am not in school, I tend to think of summer as my transition time. I usually set goals early on and then work towards them throughout the summer looking forward to landing in the achievement arena at summer's end. This year is no different. I've got some goals, I'm working towards them, and I'm making things happen. What it means is that just like everyone else in DC I'm a little busy trying to figure it all out. I've found that clearing my mind of other craziness (such as stressing out about my birthday plans or lack thereof )is key to being able to focus on the other things in front of me. Y'all know that every year since I moved to DC, I've freaked out about my birthday plans. I attribute this to years of birthday awesomeness throughout my life and my fear that what my dad said about birthdays (that they get less exciting the older you get) will come true. But alas, I've let it go. Whatever I do, I will be happy. I won't be at work (because my BDay is a holiday) and I will make the best of it....

Speaking of making the best of things, I've also been making a conscious effort to come from a place of "yes". If you are a Real Housewives fan, you know Bettheny Frankel makes a great bottled margarita often talks about coming from a place of yes. What she means is that you consciously make an effort to be open to the things that you've hoped (and prayed) for. This may sound silly, but how often are we wishing, hoping, praying for something but only half-assed. Like, we hope it happens, but if it doesn't we won't be surprised. She talks about getting the most out of life by actually living it, working through it, and being positive about it. Now, I'm no Negative Nancy by any means, but I've made more of an effort to swing at the curveballs, roll with the punches, and put a goal in front of me and run like hell towards it. So if you are feeling stuck, are going through that quarter life crisis, or are just wanting something "different"- it's time to get moving and make life happen.

And now, I need to make work happen. I hope to be better about updating but until then you can follow my shoe cravings over at Clothing Optional, Shoes Reqiured!

LOOK AT ME NOW

Having a discussion the other day with ILYT, the topic of de-friending people on Facebook came up (yes, this is the world we live in). We talked about how even though you may be done with a person, no longer wish to talk to them, and could care less about them- de-friending them is questionable. Despite your wishes to never communicate again, keeping them as a friend on Facebook (and this argument extends to Twitter, GChat, and any other social media tool) allows them to see how you've moved on, progressed, and are living a great life. In essence, keeping these people linked to you via some social media tool allows you to say "Look at me now" without actually saying it. (I realize that this is the point where some of you will lie to yourself and say that you’ve never done this. Let’s be serious, you aren’t actually friends with all those people that you are connected with via social media.)

This is a natural feeling. These same sentiments are what drives the class nerd to show up to the reunion with a supermodel chick, encourages the girl that got dumped to change her look and make sure she is on POINT at all times just in case she "bumps into" her ex , and pushes us to do better just to prove others wrong. Truthfully, disappointment and loss kick us in the ass and push us to step our game up. And a lot of us do just that. We make moves, we progress, we excel. And since we are all human and no one wants their success to go unnoticed, especially by the ones that, in a roundabout way, drove us to this point. No, we aren’t looking to send out little notes saying “thank you for breaking my heart/calling me fat/saying I’d never be ish….”,we just update a status, tweet, make sure mutuals are informed so that the story of our success gets back to certain people. We want to make sure they get the “Look at me now" message.

Here’s the thing. There are two ways to look at this. For Christians, we know that when do

things according to the Word in which we believe –in conjunction with our faith- we are moved to places we didn’t even imagine. (Trust me on that one-I've got all the proof that I need.) And we also know that when we live lives according to the Word and by our faith, we don’t have to blow our own trumpets- they are sounded for us. In other words, God does the PR for us. Folks that don’t even know you-know about you. And trust, your enemies (not literal people that you are fighting against-though they are included- but those that don’t have your best interest at heart) do too. Along with that, when you are progressing and excelling, your success will speak for itself. When you are on top- you don’t have to do a lot of talking- your work and your life speak for themselves. I’m always wary of people that feel they need to boast or talk about their accomplishments (usually material). Who exactly are you trying to convince? Me? Or yourself? All of this is to say, it’s ok to let people go. We all want to say “Look at me now” at some time or another, but actions always speak louder than words. So let your accomplishments do the talking for you. Remember, “You’re dope. Their loss."

Now cheers to moving on and letting go of the excess.

*I realize that there are moments in life where you certainly have to be your biggest fan, promoter, hype man, wear a billboard with your name and face on it- all of that. But what I’m talking about is keeping people connected to you simply because you want them to see how much better you are without them. I also realize that many people use social networking for other things such as keeping in touch,

rekindling old flames , business opportunities, stalking , and reliving memories. But the reality is that some people use it as a billboard of their "awesome" life- to flip a bird to all the "haters".

It's that "one thing"

yeah , like Amerie, but not really. I was reading some exercise mag the other day and someone was saying that their gym time is their time to be completely selfish for that little hour of the day. I think this was Kim Kardashian. I dunno who, doesn't really matter. But that got me to thinking. She was right. If you have a realtively busy life between work, service, and socializing, you've got to take those few moments to be completely unto your self. Not that it has to be exercising, or definitely an hour, but ideally there should be SOME time in the day that is just for you.

I'm in the gym about four days a week. Because my iPhone doubles as my iPod and my everything else, I often find myself texting, emailing, playing words with friends, all during my "selfish time". I am now contemplating breaking out the old iPod (well I think that thing is donezo), but maybe my old iPhone and using it solely for music purposes. That way my only distraction in the gym would be the newest graduates of the inmate release program that I am convinced has been started in Pentagon City.

And while we are on the subject of exercise, I started antoher week of Bikram on yesterday. Dear DC, I've found the spot where the brown peopole do Bikram. I checked out Bikram Yoga Capitol Hill yesterday and I was shocked at all the sistas coming in there (head not wrapped either). I must say that I was more impressed with Bikram Dupont's actual space, but the facility is nice. Its located in the H Street Corridor for all the folks in and around DC looking to try something new. Despite the buckets of water that pour from the body during Bikram, it is one of the most relaxing practices I've experienced. If you have a hard time finding "selfish" time, you might want to consider this. Its 1.5 hours with NO cell phone and NO talking; just listening and challenging your body to stretch beyond its farthest point.

DC Yoga Week 2011 is coming up May 15th -21st. Get out there and try something new.

Random sidebar: I know we've been absent from posting for a while. The past few months have been busy, trying, and challenging. I hope to get back to posting atleast once a week.

I dare you!

“You'll never know if you never try to forgive your past and simply be mine…
I dare you to let me be your one and only”

Though I’m a tad bit salty about not getting tickets to Adele’s show in Philly (which sold out in 15 minutes), I’ve still been listening to the album constantly. She’s got one song called “One and Only” that I really love. She basically dares someone to open their heart and allow her to show them that she’s different. Not saying she’s perfect by any means, but not the same as those that came before.

I know that our experiences shape our perceptions and even our reality in most cases. But at one point do we allow ourselves to move past those experiences and the hurt from the past into something new without brining those feelings along for the ride? Of course healing takes time which isn’t a fixed number and varies greatly by individual. How can you allow yourself to be open again after being hurt, though? Honesty and trust are a given for that to happen. And like Adele, I dare you to forgive your past and open yourself up to what is to come.
Love and be Loved.

Soul Mates?

I posed a question in my gchat status this morning,

“Ever thought about dropping it all, moving far away, and taking a chance?”

My back (my back, who always got MY BACK) responded with a resounding (or bold lettered, all caps) YES! So after fleshing out what we both were talking bout in respect to this question, we came to the topic of soul mates. She asked if I believed in them.

My response:

Well, I’d be lying if I said I’d never considered the soul mate thing. But, I don’t really know if I believe in soul mates. I think that God has someone for me, someone who is kind, caring, and attentive and such but doesn’t bore me. But even more than that, I trust that God knows me, and knows my personality and my temperament and my heart and has someone that compliments that.

Her question was then, “I always wonder though because God puts people in our path, but we also have free will so what if we make a bad choice, then does the other person get another "right person?”

She has a good point there. What if we are presented with the one that is really for us be we opt out? Do we get a do over with that person? Do we get another person all together? Of course, I don’t know the answer to that, but maybe there are multiple people that are “right” for us. Maybe that “someone” is “some people” and it’s up to me to not fauk that up with my extreme dislike for men in rubber bottom flip flops silly deal-breakers. I think that people are compatible with a lot of people and that people complement each other in various ways. Do I necessarily believe there’s a 100% match for everyone, no. I think that there are people that complement one another VERY well, but along with that there’s commitment to one another, and a decision on each person’s part no not let minor differences be an option for calling it quits. I’m not sure if this exactly fits with the definition of a soul mate, so that is why I’m not sure if I really believe in that one. I also wonder what happens if you never meet this “soul mate” figure? Have you failed at love and have no hopes of having a loving and lasting relationship with someone else?

You guys have been quiet on the comments, tell me what you think? Do you believe in soul mates? What happens if you give your “soul mate” one look and decide to move on to the next? What if you never meet him or her? Speak to me.

Q: “So what do you do in your spare time?”

A: "Church"




The question of whether or not the church is to blame for so many black women being single has been raised before. I’m not re-inventing the wheel here, just adding my own commentary.

I was talking to someone at church last night while we were both serving. She got to rattlin’ off all the ministries she was a part of and how she had to be here, here, and there on this day, that day, and this other day. As I listened, I couldn’t help but think to myself…”GAW what else does she have time for?” She’s an attractive women, accomplished in her career, but no ring on that finger. So aside from all of the other things it could be that keep her single…could her eagerness to be involved in every ministry. I mean, if you spend 6 of your 7 nights at church when do you get out to explore the world , meet people, have quiet time, ANYTHING?!

So what do you think? (in this context) Could the church be keeping black women single?

Trading Places (#nousher)

I was talking with ILYT earlier today and we were having one of our usual BFF talks about everything from sequins in the fall to prayer requests. (Sidenote: it's awesome to have a friendship that is multi-dimensional....if you don't have these either you are one dimensional or you need more people). Anyway we started talking about being there for our moms and that basically inspired this post.

It's funny how life works. Many of us (those that read this blog-not the us that goes out and kills puppies) had a fair enough upbringing. We had loving parents that we eventually decided were insane then we grew up a little more and realized they were just shaping and preparing us...that's called parenting. ILYT and I were both raised mostly in single-parent homes. Our mothers really poured a lot into us and taught us right from wrong. I think both of them also did a lot of guidance while allowing us to live and experience on our own. Neither of us were sheltered by any means, but we also knew boundaries and which lines we absolutely were not to cross. Aside from that we were loved and nurtured beyond belief. I think I can safely say for the both of us that there isn't really anything that we couldn't take to our mothers. We can turn to them when we can't turn anywhere else.

Sometimes in life the tables turn a little though. There may come a point when your mom needs you. What do you do? Well if you weren't raised by an awesome mom-you might run. If you were, however, then you realize that you are prepared for this. Those same things that were poured into you now need to come out of you so that you can be there for the person that has always been there for you (see what God did there?). As I was talking to ILYT, I just realized how cool it is that we even get the opportunity to be there for this person who's done so much for us! Aside from the instant benefit it gives in helping them through something- how much more of a reward is it that we can step up because of what they've shown us?

On Mosques and Qurans

There’s been a lot in the news about the islamic faith and those that follow it’s doctrine. ILYT has said her piece about Pastor Jones and though the points have been made over and over again, I figured that I’d say mine since all of this is about freedom of speech anyway .

Mosques….

Yes, choosing to put a mosque near the 9/11 site was not the most thoughtful choice. We all get that. And yes, our country was wronged several years ago by a group of extreme believers. But NO, we don’t shouldn’t make generalizations about everyone in this group and cast them all to damnation because of the mistakes of a few. If we did that we would be doing the very same thing that folks to do us. Think about how much you’ve had to go out of your way to show that you aren’t Tyquan who’s been locked up befo’ and ain’t afraid to go back….or that you are Shiekiesha who’s only goal is to make babies and get that gubment check. I was talking with my 06 about the whole thing and I think she had a very valid point that I don’t think a lot of people recognize. If we start meddling in one religion (thus overlooking the separation of church and state)…then that allows the government to also begin making decisions about other religions. Now the bible thumpers that are pushing for intervention against the builders of the mosque would be too through if someone told them they couldn’t build their church in a certain spot. I just think this shows the shortsightedness of people. (Note: shortsightedness is another thing that I’m quickly losing tolerance for and what sadly left off of the list…along with selfishness.) Take a look at the bigger picture, everything is fine when action is being taken against someone that “we” seemingly all have an issue with , but when it comes to you-what? Again, I don’t think this is the right location for the mosque, BUT I also don’t believe that the solution is to introduce the government into this battle and let them debo the whole thing.

Qurans…

Pastor Terry Jones is a southern preacher of the Christian faith. And like many southern believers- he’s got an opinion and it’s a strong one. So he proposed that we all burn a quran on anniversary of 9/11. This has become huge and basically catapulted this lesser known pastor to the headline news. We all know that the best way to make ourselves known is to come with shock factor looking at you Amber Rose, Onika Manaj, Kat Stacks (that’s twice in less than 24 hours), and the list could go on for miles . This is exactly what Pastor Jones has done. And aside from all of the obvious wrongs or ills of this…my biggest issue is his shortsightedness (see what I did there?) This man’s proposed event has led to protest in Afghanistan, and while they are currently non-violent….we don’t know what the future holds. What’s my point? We have our soldiers over there, not to mention the thousands of civilians over there making that guap for a short stint in a war zone. His actions are putting our people in danger. His actions are threatening those that made the decision (on some level) to be selfless and put their lives on the line. I have a military family, and while my parents are retired and do not run the risk of deployment, my big brother does. It’s unfair to start a fight with someone then push your boy in front to do the physical fight oh wait, we already did that . Ugh…let’s not perpetuate it.

Moral of the story, everyone is different. Period. But our differences don’t necessarily give us the right to oust a group because of such wait, we already did that too . I guess what it comes down to is that we’ve just got to do better.

I think I've figured it out

You know how you are attracted to or interested in something but you don't really know why? Well, that's how I feel felt about my peacock obsession (though this chick was clearly more obsessed than me). Yes, I love the jewelry and the birds are gorgeous, but I couldn't put my finger on what has intrigued me about this little bird, has me wanting to create a little patio zoo to keep one as a pet, and (for a fleeting moment) had me considering this

then I snapped back to reality.

So I decided to find out what exactly peacocks symbolize. And the answers pointed perfectly to why I think they are the bee's knees are so interesting.

Peacocks symbolize different things in various cultures. In Christianity they represent immortality and incorruptibility of the soul. Hindu cultures use peacocks to represent kindness and patience. Buddhists believe the peacocks represent openness and also the ability to thrive in the face of suffering.

The buddhism association was the one that made the most sense to me and my attraction. They associate peacocks with openness because so much of their body becomes exposed when they spread their wings. I think we've all seen how open I am either though a real (non-internet based) conversation with me...or simply by reading the blog. But I'm not really afraid to bare all. Now sometimes I am selective who gets what information, but that's like having all of your money in one bank...just not a good idea. Secondly, they believe that peacocks represent the ability to thrive in adverse conditions which they credit to the peacock's ability to eat a poisonous plant (Himalayan Wolfsbane) and turn it into a nutrient within their bodies. We've all been through storms and I'm no different. But I think I have a tendency to handle things in a different manner. Not one to be broken...perhaps a little rattled, but always focused and able to carry on until the storm passes.

I know this is a bit random...but I found it all very interesting....you are now free to carry on with your day!

Where's your faith?

That was the message yesterday. Simple and to the point. And I thought that it was ironic because I find myself asking this question of others (in my head) when they go on their tangents about things not working out or working slowly. Patience is a virtue and God surely ain't done with me yet, so when I hear the same stories and complaints over and over again...I tend to want to shake the person and just ask them..."where is your faith?" These are people who say that they are christians and believe in God. That. right. there. Is probably the biggest sign of faith that one can display (in my opinion). Our natural bodies and minds find it difficult to believe in something that we have not seen with our own eyes, so if you are saying that you believe in God then you are indeed exercising your faith. So my challenge to so many of you that can't seem to get ahead in some area of your life, but profess to believe in God...is to check your faith. Are you really believing that God can move in your life or are you just saying that because everyone else around you says it. I will say this...it's really hard to grow your faith if you aren't actively pursuing an intimate relationship with God. You don't have to believe me...but what's the consequence if I am wrong? Or better yet...how great is the pay off if I am right?

As much as this message was for someone else...it's also for me. Just when everything seems right in the world, the enemy will try to launch an attack to try to draw you out of your joy and peace. Remember that recognizing the enemy is like 90% of the battle so with that...I choose to give no play to what is going on right now. I have prayed for God to move in the life of another and just as He's heard my prayers yesterday and today (and will hear them tomorrow) I can trust that He will act according to His will. That's where my faith's at.

Age ain't nuthin but a number

We were talking the other day and you mentioned that there was a move that you were interested in making, but felt that you were too young to be put in that position. My response: age has nothing to do with maturity or ability. If you've got it, you've got it. That's it.

When we are contemplating making a major move or change in our lives there can be a voice just as loud as the one that motivates you- telling you that you can't do it for whatever reason. That is usually the voice of the enemy. But that's not the point of this post.

Let's talk about why age doesn't matter in life. Yeah you get older but that doesn't have a direct correlation to anything but health really. Being older doesn't automatically make your wiser, smarter, or more mature. How many old arse men do you know that can't be responsible in their life decisions? How many old arse women do you know that still make terrible mothers? Yeah, my point exactly. Age is merely an indicator of how many days you've spent alive. Maturity comes as a result of learning from your experiences and seeking ways to grow. So many people go through things but don't pay attention to the lesson and find themselves back in that same place over and over again. Choosing to put yourself in a position where you can grow personally and making the choice to not simply "go through" but to learn from your experiences is what makes you "mature". Making these choices can move you so far beyond those around you and those that you perceive should be ahead of you.

some of You were destined to be great. But greatness doesn't just fall in your lap. It requires you to be bold and take strides in directions that you might not see yourself as being "worthy" of. But put your vision together of where you want to be. Pray that God's will is done. And watch the plan wErk. That's what I've been doing and it has surely been working out for the very best for me! Look forward to the full praise report in the coming days.

"flying high on the wings of forgiveness"

so what if all of my titles for the week have been song lyrics? let me be great.

I just told ILYT a little about my story of a real break-through that I experienced yesterday. You know my life is pretty much an open book and I will share the story with you folks later (since I am a firm believer that the things we write can help others in some way). ILYT's response was "see that's why forgiveness is so important." She's right.

When we are hurt or feel like we've been wronged-we feel that we are justified in the actions that we take in response. We don't see what we did as wrong because "they" started it. When we are hurt it is easy to overlook our own faults in the situation.

The hope is that we each grow and learn each day. For those not of some type of spiritual walk, I'm not sure what this looks like, but for me it means as I grow in my walk with God, I also mature in my thinking and doing. It means that in my goal to be a better me, I spend some mirror time and some reflection time to learn from what I've experienced. So one night at bible study, Reverend Parker was in the middle of his relationships series. He suggested that we ask for forgiveness (from God) for the way we have handled some people in our damaged relationships and also to forgive them in our hearts. That night, (and so many other nights) a certain relationship was in my heart. I asked God to forgive me for my wrongs in the way I handled that person and that relationship. Then I truly forgave that person in my heart for my hurt. In that moment, I realized that while I had been praying for restoration of that relationship- forgiveness on my behalf had never even crossed my mind.

Again, this is a part of our nature to point out the things wrong in other people's lives and what they did wrong while ignoring the fifty-leven times that we've stumbled and fallen. This truly reminds me of many Christian's judgement of homosexuals while they are out with every Tom, Dick, and Harry doing whatever feels right at the time forgot about that verse while you were thumbin' through the verses to tape to the bottle of holy water that you are throwing at Miss Jay, huh? . I digress, the moral of this story is that we have to be willing to forgive others but we have also got to be bold enough to ask for forgiveness for the things that we've done. That ultimately boils down to us being big and bold enough to face ourselves and call ourselves out on our own BS. No one is perfect.

Looks good...but not on me?

Have you ever just found the "right" shoe. I mean...it was great from the moment you looked it. It even looked comfortable. In fact, it's like everything that you've been looking for in a shoe. We'll maybe one of the stitches is off or its a display shoe and the last pair so it has a little wear on the bottom from people trying it on, but other than those little things that only you notice its pretty much IT. Then you put it on and....it's comfortable too. OHH a plus. A hot AND comfortable shoe, but then you look in the mirror and the FABULOUS shoe is somehow just -eh- on you. Not that the shoe itself isn't great, but you know, it just isn't what you imagined it would look like on you. Dare I say...you don't do the shoe justice? Sometimes you can see a shoe that is FAB on someone else or on a mannequin but when you put it on its just-blah. Not "boring" but just blah....

So do you buy it and hope it will grow on you...or leave it in the store for someone else to have a shot at fabulosity?

Mirror Check

I'm young, not desperate, and I've been blessed.- According to 06, this is my problem. Sometimes I wish I could self-diagnose, prescribe a plan, and put myself into treatment.

Now....I know me..so I know what the problem is-to an extent. I've even tried to rectify the situation. Change my approach. Be conscious of my own foolishness. Distinguish my foolishness from real issues and what not. BUT alas I find myself where I've been before. I'm trying to move past some of the mountains that I've created from molehills, but I don't really see any progress....

Things that make you go hmmmm....