My Soul has Returned, So I Call it a Lesson Learned

People say that God takes you through things to teach you lessons. I strongly believe that, but I also know that we take ourselves through things because of our own free will and our desire to do what we want. In either situation, however, I’ve realized that there are lessons that can be learned. It is up to you to figure out what the lesson was from each experience. Many of us go through repetitious cycles of mess because we never sit down and take a moment think “what was I supposed to get out of that”. Failing to ask that simple question pushes us right back into the same or similar situations which produce the same results of before. Insert definition of insanity RIGHT HERE.

Not too long ago, I found myself disappointed in myself after I made a choice. There were so many things that led to me feeling the way I did- my own psyche, the opinions of those close to me, etc. The list went on. I tend to be the listener among my friends. Aside from this blog, and a few select conversations, my sharing is limited. So I continued to be in my own head about disappointing myself. I really didn’t reach out to my circle because in my head, I didn’t want to deal with their responses. On top of that, I knew that what I’d done wasn’t pleasing to God. This is where the enemy comes in. I was almost convinced that God wouldn’t forgive me. And that led to me not being able to forgive myself. BUT in my prayer time I was reminded that the God I believe in allows for repentance. And that’s what I did. I repented. I had to remind myself that the enemy comes to attack us. But I repented and accepted that I’d been forgiven. Even with that, though, I was not able to forgive myself. I think when you do something to disappoint yourself; it’s easy to really beat yourself up about it. I remember being at dinner with my 06 and just crying and telling her all about it. And she reminded me that God forgives, and that I’d have to do the same. She also reminded me about the strength of my circle and why those people were there in the first place. She reminded me that those people that I hold close to me are those that want what is best for me, are judgment free, and are imperfect themselves. With that, I felt better and worked toward forgiving myself. It wasn’t instant. The thing is that there aren’t too many people that know us as well as we know ourselves. So I know my potential and the person I am. So I felt that I’d really messed up with my choices and that was hurtful. I did eventually forgive myself though. It’s funny, we always hear how we should forgive others but so many people are walking around harboring anger and disgust within themselves for the choices they’ve made. It’s time to do something about that.

Our experiences are the things that shape who we are and who we become. The choices we make shape those experiences. It all works together. So we have to realize that we’ve gone through things for a reason: to learn a lesson. Once that lesson is learned, we have to forgive ourselves, make some adjustments, and MOVE ON. Don’t hinder your growth because you can’t get over something that you’ve done. That’s not living, that’s not being free, and it will surely cause you to miss out on what is to come.

Where'd you get that?

Has anyone ever asked you where your scar came from?

I have a scar on my knee from a katydids can that I cut myself on when I was younger. I have a vivid memory of what happened and even what I learned. No running in the house! There are other scars on me that have come from one thing or another, each with its own story and lesson. Much like the physical scars that you can see, I (and all of you I’m sure) , have some invisible scars from things we’ve experienced in our lives.

I just finished listening to a sermon by Dr. Waller (my pastor from Philly) talking about scars and how we shouldn’t forget their purpose. He said something in the sermon that really stuck with me .

"Yes, I have scars on me, but they are ok to touch because they don’t hurt anymore. "

Dr. Waller spoke about how Jesus invited Thomas to touch His scar and how doing that helped Thomas to believe. Well, just as Jesus used his scars as a teaching moment, we should too.

We write a lot of stuff on this blog. I know that it can be a lot little random, but sometimes we actually write about different things that happen to us and the things that we’ve learned over time. I’m a pretty open person once I’ve made my decision to share (my friends know that I tend to listen more and it takes a lot for me to actually talk about me). For me, sharing what I’ve gone through, and more importantly, what I’ve learned from it is important.

So I ask you- are you using your experiences to help others? Are you harboring hate, hurt, and pain from scars that you won’t let heal? How much better would life be if we just let some things go-take the time to heal- and then use that as a lesson not just for you, but for someone else too.

On Mosques and Qurans

There’s been a lot in the news about the islamic faith and those that follow it’s doctrine. ILYT has said her piece about Pastor Jones and though the points have been made over and over again, I figured that I’d say mine since all of this is about freedom of speech anyway .

Mosques….

Yes, choosing to put a mosque near the 9/11 site was not the most thoughtful choice. We all get that. And yes, our country was wronged several years ago by a group of extreme believers. But NO, we don’t shouldn’t make generalizations about everyone in this group and cast them all to damnation because of the mistakes of a few. If we did that we would be doing the very same thing that folks to do us. Think about how much you’ve had to go out of your way to show that you aren’t Tyquan who’s been locked up befo’ and ain’t afraid to go back….or that you are Shiekiesha who’s only goal is to make babies and get that gubment check. I was talking with my 06 about the whole thing and I think she had a very valid point that I don’t think a lot of people recognize. If we start meddling in one religion (thus overlooking the separation of church and state)…then that allows the government to also begin making decisions about other religions. Now the bible thumpers that are pushing for intervention against the builders of the mosque would be too through if someone told them they couldn’t build their church in a certain spot. I just think this shows the shortsightedness of people. (Note: shortsightedness is another thing that I’m quickly losing tolerance for and what sadly left off of the list…along with selfishness.) Take a look at the bigger picture, everything is fine when action is being taken against someone that “we” seemingly all have an issue with , but when it comes to you-what? Again, I don’t think this is the right location for the mosque, BUT I also don’t believe that the solution is to introduce the government into this battle and let them debo the whole thing.

Qurans…

Pastor Terry Jones is a southern preacher of the Christian faith. And like many southern believers- he’s got an opinion and it’s a strong one. So he proposed that we all burn a quran on anniversary of 9/11. This has become huge and basically catapulted this lesser known pastor to the headline news. We all know that the best way to make ourselves known is to come with shock factor looking at you Amber Rose, Onika Manaj, Kat Stacks (that’s twice in less than 24 hours), and the list could go on for miles . This is exactly what Pastor Jones has done. And aside from all of the obvious wrongs or ills of this…my biggest issue is his shortsightedness (see what I did there?) This man’s proposed event has led to protest in Afghanistan, and while they are currently non-violent….we don’t know what the future holds. What’s my point? We have our soldiers over there, not to mention the thousands of civilians over there making that guap for a short stint in a war zone. His actions are putting our people in danger. His actions are threatening those that made the decision (on some level) to be selfless and put their lives on the line. I have a military family, and while my parents are retired and do not run the risk of deployment, my big brother does. It’s unfair to start a fight with someone then push your boy in front to do the physical fight oh wait, we already did that . Ugh…let’s not perpetuate it.

Moral of the story, everyone is different. Period. But our differences don’t necessarily give us the right to oust a group because of such wait, we already did that too . I guess what it comes down to is that we’ve just got to do better.

"Its a Beautiful Day to Live My Beautiful Life"

Complaining. We are all so guilty of it. Someone isn't doing what we want them to do. It's too hot. It's too cold. Things aren't going how we think they should. So we just complain. We complain about EVERYTHING. But why? The stars can be aligned, God can be shining on us, and all can be right in the world but we will still complain about the moon sitting too far to the left.

Let's challenge ourselves to move past being complainers. No, this won't be an easy feat. It's so easy to complain. Complaining helps us create excuses for our own shortcomings or wrong doings. Complaining helps us place blame everywhere but on us. And complaining allows us to ignore that big arse log in our own eyes, to focus on the speck of dust in someone else's.

The reality for most of us (me, you, and a lot of you reading this) is that we have great lives. No, not perfect as perfection is something that is strived for but is rarely (if ever) attained. We have beautiful lives. We have great friends, awesome family (blood and no blood relation), we have jobs (they may not be our ideal career but they meet our needs), we have food (most of us eat good), we have clothes (check your label). We have really beautiful lives.

My challenge to myself (and you too) is to try to cut down on complaining. I'm not saying never complain because I don't think that is realistic, but let's try to do it less. Become conscious of when you are complaining. For some of us it is second nature, so we don't even realize when we are doing it. Let's become aware of the things we say. After all, there is power in words.

Let's see if we can make it a "complaint free" day, k?

Big Girl Pill

I.Hate.Big.Girl.Pills.

Today was a challenging day personally. I had to make a decision that not only affected me, but people that are very close to me as well and in the end I know that someone else left the situation hurt and upset. I can't even begin to explain how hurt it actually left me in the end. The tears are countless and the hurt in my heart really sucks right now. BUT life is about making really hard choices and sacrifices. I can make concessions for things here and there but it the end it does far more harm than good. I keep reminding myself that the journey and path that God puts us on isn't promised to be pothole or hurdle free. There will be obstacles. There will be tests....and THEN comes the testimony, right? Its all about endurance. Making the right choices and getting through the test. Trusting God that the decisions you make will be for the best.