Saturday's lounge crawl (like a pub crawl-in heels and short dresses!)

After beasting it all day at the one-day home sale on Saturday- I surely needed some fun (after some rest of course). Leave it to Jaz to find some trouble for us to get into. She suggested The Reserve a cool little wine lounge that was once my Wednesday spot. I'd never been on a Saturday so we applied "Morgan's Rule" and made plans to meet.

Then the adventure started.

So since Jaz and I have a knack for being party-starters (read: the ones that get there way too early) we didn't expect anything less for our arrival at The Reserve. We go in and there's like maybe 20 people there. Literally. There's the skinny guy guarding the stairs who promptly lets us know that upstairs is not open yet. Ugh, I was secretly hoping that there was a plethora of people hiding upstairs having the time of their lives....fail. And as I scan the room there are like 4 guys there...all of which look socially awkward. So we head 'round the bar to get some drinks. The bartender lets us know that nothing we want is included in the open bar so we just order two-vodka lemonades....and meet him on the other side of the bar where he gives us two cranberry vodkas...let's blow this joint.

Out comes the handy iPhone 4 to guide us on our journey to Recess. Another "Saturday" spot. Mind you its like 1030 so no place is really...packed...per se but we walked past Recess twice before realizing where it actually was...needless to say no line- we ain't going. On to the next spot. The Park- for international night. Luckily Jaz had almost been run over by one of the doorman's segways a few weeks prior so we didn't have to stand in that silly little line. It was the annual beach party-so the staff was dressed foolishly. We head to the bar in the back but stop to be mildly entertained by the 65+ couple gettin' it on the dance floor. Grab some drinks and head upstairs. I don't think I've ever seen The Park that empty. But the music was fist-pump worthy (which one of the bouncers assured me would not be the case the entire night)....my response...will they be playing any Big Meach or Larry Hoover? He swore yes. We stayed long enough to plot the next move and finish our drinks. Caught a cab and then tried to figure out how we were going to squeeze in some Ben's Chili Bowl before going out. Next stop: Station 9. We get in the cab and Jaz keeps saying "Thank God" to the cabbie- I give her a look like maybe the cabbie isn't down with God so Jaz says...Oh im sorry sir are you muslim? He replied that he was Christian-great! So then we ask if he has gum and he passes back a pack. My accomplice yells..TAKE FO OR FIVE Pieces.....iCan't he's a nice Christian guy we can't be greedy. He drops us off at Station 9 ( no chili bowl which I think Jaz is still holding against me). She finds the guy she knows...gets us in. THERE IS ONE BAR OPEN! ONE. The lights are ON. and no one told me that it was "fat guy in a little coat" night. So you are just gonna wear this tight arse short-sleeved button down with this red bow-tie and this grey vest? With these plaid shorts? Ok sir....iCan't. Then there's Mr. Beyonce. I appreciate a GBF as much as the next girl buy why are you stompin' yo feet so damn hard? Can we go now....we move swiftly out of the door heads to the left to avoid eye contact with the guy that let us in....Cab PUHLEEZ!

Still hungry, we ask the cabbie if he has snacks (we don't rule out possibilities since the last cabbie shared his gum with us). This one had no snacks but did indeed offer us bottle water. He also had beer for sell for $24 dollars for the late night crew. Gotta love a man with a side hustle. Somehow the topic of conversation got on to dating. Our cab driver had broken up with the American chick he was dating because she talked too much. So our conclusion was that he want's someone mute or at least one who knows when to shut the eff up. He chuckled and said that wasn't the case, but we all know the truth. I don't remember what Jaz said to him to peak his interest but I believe the conversation ended with him saying "I wish I marry you" to her.

At this point we've arrived at Ozio. Thanks to a friend of a friend...we wouldn't have to wait in line or anything (in theory) but in practice-the doormen were really trying to play folks. We exit the cab and Jaz decides to approach the guys "peeing on the wall" who were actually peeking through a restaurant window to watch some re-run of sports center. We introduce ourselves to "the agent" and "the client". Collectively we roll to Ozio. Jaz peeps something on the client and tells me to look....he has a NECK TAT. Too bad he had teeth that had been marred by the rocks he obviously chews on the regular to go with it. We go through when them but the chick at the door is trying to charge...and they guys didn't pay soo we were like oh we are on such and such's list. She's like well the list line is there. Ummm we ain't doing that. After about 10 minutes we spot the person we are looking for and after the rude arse owner got out of the way...we made our way in. EEK! There's no one here either. I think we were there maybe 30 minutes, but didn't leave before bumping into the agent-client again. They ask us why we didn't come in with them. Umm maybe because you didn't pay-and we weren't about to pay to get into Ozio...and because they stood at the door for a good 10 looking for their homeboy or whoever. Client says that the guy said we could get in blah blah..I got lost in the spaces between his teeth. I just also figured out that he looked like Binky from "Arthur". So as we dive more into convo with these two-we inquire what team he wishes plays for and why he's not at camp. Apparently he's still waiting on the chiefs to come up off that money. In true GD fashion I ask him where he played undergrad-and his name and get my google on. Ummm...no results returned. You sir, are a fail.

It's time to call it a night. Four venues and no wins- and we are both starving. Yep, let's go. We hop in another cab (who isn't nearly as colorful as our other cabbies) and get back to our cars. Two guys pull up take my spot and ask why we are leaving so early...I tell them how wack the scene is and they propose going to get food...we probably should have taken them up on that...

Well at least it was an adventure, right?