Giving "good" a chance

There comes at time when you realize that your mom was right, and though you hate to admit it, you must. So, mom, you were right though the edgy guys won't be boring, they will have a dash-too-much of selfishness, and being someone that doesn't deal well with selfish people-that will not work. Even casually dating someone who is a bit too selfish won't work because they will eventually like many other people just annoy the hell out of me. Thankfully, I've managed to keep a good balance of good and evil around, but maybe it's time to get back to the basics and stop attributing to that whole "nice guys finish last" bit. Now....how do I keep from getting bored? That's another question for another day, but I'm sure consciously trying not to will help so we'll start there. This is me, giving good a chance.

And speaking of giving chances....I've been wanting to write a post about how my awful ordeal with Comcast changed for the better. BUT IT HASN'T. As of today we are at 5 appointments/3 NO-SHOWs after the tech calling my roomate at 10:17PM last night to announce his arrival. I think Ocho Cinco says "Chile Please". Who's letting some rando Comcast tech in their house that late at night. Meanwhile back at the ranch, the cable blinks out every few minutes. I literally watched the first 9 minutes of Chelsea Lately and observed 3 blanks in that time period. I wonder if the Comcast CEO knows that they are this terrible at providing technical service. Perhaps they should contract less and direct hire more. Oh and another fun fact-Comcast owns Fandango...so I might have to stop using that service too. Ugh. Dear Comcast, you are the worst and I am confident that the only reason that people continue pay for your service is because there are no other options...monopoly is a bish, aint it?

100 Million Dollar Slaves, Imaginary Deficits, and Doctor Visits

I’ve been collecting my own opinions all week and since I haven’t had time to write about things individually, I just decided to put it all in one mash-up post.

1) Last night Cam Newton took home 3 major college football awards. I’m hoping that this was only the beginning and that he takes home that Heisman on Saturday night. His look was competed with orange lining on his well-tailored suit and a big white (enough) smile, his family was there to support him. All looked well except one thing was missing-his dad. Now if you’ve been following this whole story, you know that Cam’s father has decided not to attend the awards ceremonies because he allegedly took (or planned to take) financial incentives for Cam to play football for a certain program and he doesn’t want this whole thing to overshadow Cam’s night. So because of his transgressions since this is a sin in NCAA football rules , he was and is unable to take part is what is sure to be a memorable weekend for Cam. Here lies my issue with the WHOLE thing. The NCAA has these rules against gifting and financial gain to players and while the intent is good-I guess- the reality is that they are frequently ignored. No you might not get a check cut to you directly, but when that diamond encrusted watch showed up in your mailbox-addressed to you with no sender…you knew what was up, right? The NCAA expects these men to come out and give their all on a field, expose themselves to career or life threatening injury, and be whatever they want them to be when they want them to be it. THIS is why these guys leave and go to the league early when possible. It just doesn’t make sense. I can’t even fathom the amount of money that athletic programs bring in for their schools and the guys aren’t really getting a whole lot of benefit from this. I’m not taking credit away from the money spent in scholarships but I can guarantee that figure pales in comparison to the amount brought in by these guys at some of the powerhouse schools. Wait- I got on my soapbox –oh yeah, my question is what good does it do to rob Cam Newton and his father of sharing in this award season experience together? What’s done is done and I somehow doubt that the folks offering the money have been banned from anything. As a matter of fact, I’m quite sure that the room was full of folks that have arranged “gifts” at some point or another. While I realize that Cam’s father probably wants what is best for Cam at this point and has therefore chosen to stay away as planned, I can’t help but wish this brotha’ (and the community) were a little more vocal about this. But hey, somewhere in OUR history this taking black fathers from their families has been done before, right? I wish Cam all the luck in the world. I hope he takes home the Heisman this weekend, because the boy is BAD (and because LaMichael’s name is strange and there’s something that throws me off in his facial region).

2) Can I borrow a few trillion dollars? Do you even know what a trillion dollars looks like? Well that is apparently where the US deficit is… in the trillions. Since I (nor any of the people I’ve asked) have no clue what it looks like, and since we are continuing to spend as a government- I’ve decided that the deficit is imaginary and doesn’t exist. At this juncture, the Bush tax cuts are going to be extended oh but wait..don’t forget that we threw a few more months of unemployment your way. So before you complain…you betta’ recognized that we did SOMETHING to help Americans that are struggling to stay afloat. But with these cuts, the message that the government is really sending is that “we got money to blow.” Because CLEARLY, if we really had a deficit that needed to be paid down, we wouldn’t be making costly moves like extending cuts to folks that can (let’s be real here) actually afford to pay taxes. Who exactly do we even owe all this money to? And if we don’t pay them what is gonna happen? I mean, it’s not like we accumulated this debt in the last couple years, so we’ve obviously been owing some people for decades. Hell, at this point let’s just not talk about the deficit anymore and maybe it will go away. Imagine if we as individuals took on this school of thought, which our government is teaching us. What if we just continued to spend and spend and not pay anyone back yes I’m aware that some of our people BEEN on that ? That would cause a problem right? So why is it ok on a national level? Don’t worry, I’ll wait for the explanation.

3) One other piece of legislation that’s sitting on the President’s desk is the “Doc Fix”. Basically if nothing happens soon, Medicare reimbursement is going to be cut by like 25%. The fear is that as a result, doctors are going to drop yo granny like a hot potato. And since granny is the matriarch of the family, we can’t have any of that going on. So the proposed “fix” is to increase payments on health care subsidies for people that receive too much benefit (either from lying on their income reports OR if their income changes). The current cap on the repayment is set at $250 for individuals and $450 for families, but that would change to between $600 and $3500. So, basically our “fix” is to take from some to give to others which is apparently perfectly fine in this instance BUT not ok when it comes to the tax cuts? If there is one thing that I can’t stand in life, it’s inconsistency. I’m me all the time, hate it or love it. I’m consistent. The government, however, is not. And now we have this. Is anyone paying attention to what is going on here? Are we ever gonna get on the good foot as a nation?

That’s it for my rant this week. Feel free to comment. What are your thoughts on Cam Newton (or ARKANSAS going to the Sugar Bowl)? Do you know where I can get some this extra money that the US has lying around? Should I stop paying back my government loans and just ignore my “deficit”? What about the “Doc Fix”, will it work? I’m listening.

I've been meaning to tell you...

So I haven’t been able to blog lately. Been busy. I decided to just put all of the things I’ve been wanting to say in one post. Like to hear it? Here it go.

While you “love your hair”( I love this little video BTW and the story behind it), I’ll be whipping my (permed) hair back and forth, k?
The funny thing is that a guy asked me to post about the natural hair crusaders. Apparently the fellas excluding the ones that refer to themselves as God or you as Queen and Nile River Princess are actually JUST as tired of hearing about the natural hair movement as I am. I get that some of you had unhealthy hair or decided to go au natural to get healthier hair. I do contest that you can have healthy hair either way if you know what you are doing, but that’s neither here or there. To these women, I have no qualms with you. But to those of you that are convinced that every sista with relaxed or otherwise processed hair has some type of self-hate issue…get over yourself. I love that people forget about the half of Africa where people have hair that is fine and straight. Not to mention the fact that my bloodline ain’t pure so maybe I’m embracing the “Indian” in me. Truthfully, I feel like so many chicks are doing it because it-like most other things they do- is a fad. Here’s a novel idea, do what works for you and let that be the reason for it. Puhleez don’t go holding your nose higher than someone else because you are ok with your kinky hair-mine is really curly, I choose to straighten it because it works for me!

When did yall get so needy?
This is a legit question of mine. Now perhaps every guy I’ve met lately has been used to women beatin’ down the door, blowin’ up their phone, and bustin’ windows out their car beggin’ for attention but here’s a newsflash: THAT AIN’T ME. Calling or texting me with the “I don’t pay you enough attention” line isn’t a way to get more attention from me. I can promise you that. Here’s a thought, maybe I really am busy. Or maybe I’m just not into you like that. Either way, you whining about it is not cute in the least bit. Sigh….

The “black woman” attitude
I’m sure by now we have all seen the “Black Marriage Negotiations” and all of the other videos along those lines. I think they are hilarious and sad all in the same right. I know women like this. They are my friends. I fear they will be single forever. You know women like this too. Honestly, think to yourself, if you were a guy…how many of your friends would you actually date? I know the number on my list is limited. These attitudes are getting on my nerve and I share the same hormone make-up as yall, I can only imagine how guys feel! Ladies, life isn’t that serious. Relax, breathe, chill, live in the moment for once. And un-frown your face! UGH! Maybe if you were more approachable, you’d find that the “there are no single, datable guys” thing is just a line that women use because they have made themselves so unapproachable that they repel any potential suitors. Or atleast someone wanting to “smang”. HA!

Losing Tolerance

Those of you that know me (well) know that I'm not the most patient person. I've tried to work on it over time, but my patience with adults is very low. I can be patient with a child all day long, but you grown folks...I absolutely can not. While I've been working on my patience, what I have seen dwindle to new lows is my tolerance for other people and their foolishness and antics. I feel a purge coming on. So who (general) am I referring to? Glad you asked.

1) Rude People- My mother constantly reminds me that she didn't raise everyone. This usually comes as I'm complaining about how incredibly rude someone is as I try to wrap my head around what people must be thinking when they come with this craziness. Rudeness might be hereditary and that's unfortunate. As adults, there should be a common level of respect and courtesy. I realize that some wildebeasts folks weren't raised to be courteous, but you 'oes have been to college and graduate school and are self-proclaimed bougie. PUHLEEZ get your ish together and find some manners. Need a lesson? Let me refer you to my manuscript.

2) Busy People- I don't do Ocho..but "Child Please". Jesus himself ain't THAT busy. Even He's got time to listen to a prayer. So those of you that are too busy to return a phone call or e-mail, it's time for a new excuse. We all have our moments when we don't answer our phones or respond to texts or emails in the moment (it's called vacation) but to keep up this shenanigans on an extended basis is unacceptable.

3) Liars- No one likes liars. My problem with folks isn't so much the lies that they tell to others, but the lies they live and tell themselves. Hate to crack your wonderful self image...but you are living a lie. I know you think that you are giving- you aren't, that your honest- you fail, and that you are generally a good person- nope. All jokes aside, I've found that people profess to be things that they are not. Saying it doesn't make it so. Check your actions.

Ok so now that we've established that my tolerance is disappearing faster than Kat Stacks' undies ...govern yourselves accordingly.

Do you have to eat your hot dog next to me? and other inner city shenanigans

Due to the nature of my job, I can be in any number of places for my workday and very seldom does that list of places include my actual office. In many clinics-I share a space with someone and in others I simply get in where I fit in.

Today I'm in inner city Baltimore at a clinic where most of the kids don't show up for their scheduled appointments, the parents of the kids are liable to be younger than me, and the staff is a bit boughetto is lacking a little class. Even as I type this, there is a woman who decided to come into the room I was in to eat her hot dog (the smell of which is actually making my stomach turn) and is also SMACKING these damn chips as if it would be a crime to chew quietly.

This is the same woman that burst into the office this morning asking me to print her off one of them picnic flyers (no, I had no idea what she was talking about) that my co-worker printed for her before. After stating that I couldn't find such a thing...she then said...oops I meant Six Flags. Ma'am you have the same access to the benefits homepage as I do...find yourself....

Then there's the "other" employees. I've come to overlook the outlandish nail designs and such since I have been known to wear a single finger painted a different color (which is as liberal as I can go with the nails). I get it...you paid good money for Kim Chi to paint all those designs. But somethings just don't mesh with your workplace. So to the girl with half of her head shaved and the other half covered with a blonde weave and Goldilocks curls-I'm talking to you. I know you saw Cassie and 'nem rocking a similar look but they are actually paid to make appearances...you ma'am are not.

To the children in the waiting room. PLEASE SIT YOUR ARSE DOWN.Is it thundering outside? No, that's little running around like they ain't go no home training. And to you grown kids that still see the pediatrician...don't come in with your phone playing music through the speaker. I get tired of hearing OMG on the radio and I don't really want to hear it resonating from your cell phone as you come into the office to get some "stuff" done. And did you smirk when I just shot you that side-eye? I cannot.

And finally-I am asking the followers of the 25 project to make contributions so that I can get a mobile weave truck. The concept is patented...don't try to go out and make millions off my ideas. It's like an ice-cream struck. It stops by in the hood. Its got to be a non-profit- a community service of sorts. For a minimal fee way under the going rate because I know times are hard and I'm going to pretend that is the reason that your weave game looks like you let a family of rats play in your head while you were sleeping you will get a quality weave. I think I need a name for this, something catchy. I'm going to need quite a few of these to really make an impact on the community...Who's making donations?

Selfishness is as ugly as jealousy

I can NOT, for the life of me...figure out how people get along in life being so damn self-centered and selfish. While I understand that many people are only children and what not (I went to school with a lot of people like this) that excuse only takes you so far. At some point you've got to grow up and realize a few things. 1) Everything ain't about you, 2) the world that everyone else lives in doesn't revolve around you 3) being selfish isn't cute or Christian. Realizing these simple truths will take you far.

I remember the day that I learned that the world didn't actually orbit around ME. It was right before I went to college and my mom gave me a real talk. She was real with me. Yes, I'd been spoiled my ENTIRE life. Yes, I pretty much got my way all of the time and YES all that was coming to an end. Because my mother loved me, she realized that I would not ever become the woman that she was raising me to be if I continued to live in this fantasy world. It's not like I changed overnight. It took years to get to the point of not being as selfish as I was in the past. Am i perfect? HECK NO! But I am constantly working to be a better person and it sucks to realize that not everyone does this. So now it actually makes me sick to my stomach to deal with people who are so stuck on themselves that doing something for someone else is an annoyance, burden, or just something they can't do without complaining . As a friend, I've pointed this characteristic out in relationships that were meaningful to me. Everyone else has been pretty much cut. No one wants to deal with that type of person. I don't know if being just being oblivious or not really caring, but it clearly takes a special person to carry on a life like this.

Time for some housekeeping....le sigh.

Dress Code Violation

You know...undergarments were given that name for a reason. They are meant to be worn under your clothes and in most cases, aren't expected to be visible.

So tell me why ialways SPY your thong...or your colorful arse bra?

Maybe your mom didn't teach you better and shame on her for that. But there are rules that shoul be followed when getting dressed in the morning for your off-the street corner job.

1. Black goes under white- While I will try not to let my disdain for white bras cloud my judgement, the simple FACT is that black doesn't show under white...WHITE DOES! Don't believe me? Try it out. I that on first Sunday, when all the women of the church where white, I can see those big, cone shaped white bras with the thick straps under those silk(y) shirts. WEAR BLACK!

2. On that note, colors other than black do not go under white. EVER. I don't wish to see your pink and greens/ red and whites/ or anything else from the Victoria's Secret PINK collection under your white linen pants.

3. At some age, you've got to stop shopping in the PINK collection for your underwear. I generally think it should be relegated to the under 21 population. You can't color, pizzaz, and what not? There are some grown up selections at La Perla and Soma.

4. Just because your shirt is colored, doesn't mean that patterned bras don't show. Why am I sitting across from you in a meeting and can see red polka dots?

5. Lace is cute but not practical. Lace undies are really meant to be worn as the main attraction and not in some supporting role. Why are their ridges in your shirt? Oh, cuz you don't own a single smooth bra...not ok.

6. No, I don't want to see your thong (or be told about it by your co-worker over gchat). This is more of a pants issue than an underwear issue. I'm guilty of the low(er) cut jeans, but let's do better ladies.

Hmm, I think that 'bout sums it up. Did I miss anything?

Weekend from L...

Ever had one of those "days"? Well my weekend kind of ended up being like that and I'm happy that it is officially Monday. New day, new week, chance to do something completely different. It's not that my weekend was completely terrible. In fact, spending time with my auntie and cousin at Oprah and shopping around the city was quite relaxing. We had so much fun just popping into shops. I actually didn't buy ANYTHING! But there was a necklace in Anthropologie that iLoved and my aunt has committed to making for me (that's where I get my crafty genes). I'm super excited to see how it turns out when I get home. I spent the evening break dancing with my little nephew (read-cousin) and playing spiderman. I swear little moments when defeating batman is all you have to think about-are the best. That was a great beginning of the weekend and last night's conversation was a really great and peaceful ending...it's the in-between stuff, the L's I took, that got me.

1) Failed dinner mission Friday night- was supposed to go to dinner with a friend who "double-booked" so I went back to Harlem and ate pizza- from Papa Johns. Not a total L, but not what I had in mind for dinner.

2.) Lowered tolerance- While waiting on said pizza, one of the guys makes me a drink. All good and fine and then there's drink number two. Still fine. I'm good. I eat..whatevs. We are all planning to go out after the boys grow up and stop playin those damn video games wrap up their convos...I get up to go to the restroom...and somewhere between that and me deciding to return to the living room-I fall asleep on the bed. Soooo...needless to say, I didn't make it out Friday night.

3.) Left- behind cell phone- I NEVER LEAVE MY PHONE in a public place. Nope, not ever. But as I was on my way to catch the bus back home, I realized that I left it on the table at the restaurant where I had lunch. FAUK! So I called it with my other cell to see if someone answers-of course not. Then I call information to get the number to the restaurant and that phone dies. AHHHHH... I tell the cabbie to take me back to where I was except I don't remember the exact cross streets since we walked a bit. He's clearly frustrated with me, traffic is sick and my bus leave in 10 minutes. So I get back to the restaurant (after much prayer) and they have my phone. SCOOOORRREEE! So then I walk back-catch a cab-get a new bus ticket and all is well with my soul.

4.) Sat night plans fail. I'll just leave it there...

5.) I decide to return something to a store but don't have the right debit card with me. So that trip was pretty much a fail.

6.) Sunday I get the right debit card and go to another store to make said return and it shows that its already been returned. Now i'm IRATE because I've now driven to two stores, the return can't be done until I call a number to an office that is only open through the week which means that I have to call them today-then-go back to a store for the return. Done with that company once this is resolved.

7.) I decide to make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner last night. So I go to whole foods which is always a great experience. Now...my car has been saying --- Miles for gas for a second (or 10,000) but I was determined to get to my side of town where gas was cheaper. I'm not paying $3.00 for gas....just.not.doin.it. Well- that plan doesn't exactly work. I ran out of gas LITERALLY on my exit (well more like .3 miles before my exit). Thankfully my roommate had just gotten home and she came to the rescue with gas. Ever ran out of gas? The car just SHUTS DOWN!!!!!! It's kind of scary.

That was probably the final straw. Though the night got better....I was more than happy to let the weekend come to a close.

....Jealousy is a female trait

and it doesn't look good on anybody....

Ok so the "jealousy is female trait" thing is something that I'm pretty sure I got from Jay-Z but it holds true. The fact is that whoever's trait it is...it ain't cute on nobody.

Sadly, I think I've accepted the "jealous woman" as being just one of the things that women do but I am especially annoyed when I see a jealous "man". I get "feeling some kind of way" about other men looking at your woman. That's one thing. But I can't stand to see a man be jealous of another man!!!! This could easily be alleviated if you just step your own game up and bought some confidence on eBay. The fact that you can't support someone because deep down you envy what they have is kind of disgusting actually.

Stop looking at what other people have and focus on yourself, your plan, and your goals. Spending time in a more constructive manner might yield you even greater results than you would imagine.

This message brought to you by besupportiveandstopwhinin.org

"you people" never cease to amaze me

I don't really know why people's questionable actions tend to surprise me anymore. To be honest, my expectations for people other than my family and close friends are pretty low. I've just learned it's best not to expect things from other people and to believe them when they have the chance to you who they are-and they do it.

Sooo....why am I shocked or surprised when people are non-responsive when the feel like they've done something wrong? I mean...why not just own up to the sitch and keep it moving forward...after all-we are adults aren't we? I giggle to myself when people act more like children than they really should. It's actually annoying...but oh wells...maybe some of you will read this and grow a few (balls, years in age, or levels of maturity)....maybe not.

I HATE BALTIMORE DRIVERS

This video about sums it up! This happened 3-4 times this morning once I crossed over the threshold into the abyss that is Baltimore.

Word-Action Disconnect

I'm sure this week's posts have been all sorts of random but yall are here for the ride, right?

So today can I just rant about my dislike for people who have a disconnect in their words and actions? I know its not something that anyone is immune to and I will be the first to admit that I have fallen short in this area too (per an ex), but geez, do people really NOT pay attention to the things they say and how it fails to match up with what they actually do. I believe this is part of the definition of hypocrisy.

Because I have done this in the past (unknowingly) I can see how one might not realize that what you are doing and saying don't match up in some areas of life. BUT there are some things that are fairly obvious disconnects which leads me to believe that you consciously pick and choose when you will and won't be a hypocrite. Or maybe you just don't believe the bs that comes out of your own mouth? I know no one is perfect, but this is really erking (yes I said that) me.